Don't want wedding presents....

but it seems to have upset some people. We live in a different town to all our family and friends, and they need to travel at the least 600kms to get to the wedding plus pay for accommodation.

I don't think it's reasonable to ask people to pay all that money and then ask them for/ make suggestions for gifts as well.

I originally told people that if they felt the need to buy a gift then to please donate to a charity in our name but even that has upset people.

We have lived together for 14 years, we have 2 children and everything we would want. We are not going on an expensive honeymoon, we own a top of the range camper and our plan is to go off on a family holiday for a couple of weeks.

So what else could I possibly suggest? I hate the idea of people giving money, wishing wells etc. as I feel like I am begging for money. if I did an online gift registry I fear other than a set of bed sheets there would be nothing else on the list.

People just are not happy being told not to buy presents, but then they want suggestions. Don't know what to do. We just want our nearest and dearest to come celebrate with us, that is what counts for us.

Maybe if they really want to get something, ask them to think of a gift that reminds them of you/your family and they think you will love from a sentimental point of view?

Thanks Kimbles, that's the reason why I thought our guests would appreciate why we would prefer donations to charity. My DF lost his father to cancer 6 years ago, his mum has had and beaten cancer twice and I am currently receiving treatment for melanoma. It would mean so much to us to have this donation made but people really are not happy with it. One very close friend even said "bugger that, I will keep the money for myself" which is fair enough her choice but it did upset me.

Agreed, if they disagree, they don't need to tell you. Sadly some people always want to make something about them, no matter what. Just ignore them, and focus on the happiness of your wedding - congratulations!

I had the same issue. I couldn't convince people we didn't want anything so eventually gave in and did a wishing well. I know you aren't comfortable with a wishing well but maybe, if you choose to relent on it, you could donate the money to charity yourself and not tell people?

That's very true Foss. I didn't think of doing that, I suppose it's a case of what they don't know won't hurt them but it still sort of takes the "joy" out of doing it when it's almost done deceitfully. I think I will organise a box for cards, if people put money in then we will figure out a way to deal with it afterwards. Thanks for all the advice everyone x