2.5yo who doesn't eat - how to get her eating other foods

My 2.5yo has been a terrible eater from day 1 of solids. I've been to 3 x speech therapists for eating difficulties (including the local hospital's feeding clinic) and the last one I went to specialised in paediatric feeding problems. I haven't really been given any advise other than what I already had heard and my 2.5 yo is driving me nuts. I've been told to let her play with the food, slowly get her to at least touch the food, then next aim is to get her to put the food to her mouth, then next step is to take a bite, then next step is to actually eat a piece. 2+ years of this and I'm just over it to be honest. I understand I need to offer these things 20+ times before she may even try it and that's just for 1 new food. At that rate it could take me years to get her eating more and in the mean time she is living on nuggets, chips, bread, cheese & yoghurt.

Up until about 1 month ago the only meat she ate was sausage or nuggets. Now she won't even eat sausage again and so it's nuggets only. She will eat chips, yoghurt, cheese, bread, toast but will happily eat anything sweet or any snack type food.

We are healthy eaters. My eldest eats great and from a variety of foods, not perfect but good enough for us not to be concerned. My youngest though has been a shocker and I did nothing different. She would only eat puree food until she was 18 months but after that decided she only wanted to self feed, which was fine, but it meant her range of food was cut by about 90%! I used to be able to make casserole, stir fry, all sorts of dishes and I'd just puree her some and she'd happily eat it. Now though it's so limited. She won't eat a sandwich, the only fruit she eats is either from a squeeze pouch or she will now eat banana herself (not puree but holds it and eats). I'm at my wits end. I can't deny her food but at the same time I can't get her to eat anything else. She is still having milk which even though the specialists said it was a good idea to leave her with the milk still, it may be time to ditch it, but I'm worried because I have nothing to replace that with, it's not like she eats enough food that the milk won't be missed. She won't eat rice, pasta, meats, anything with a sauce. Can't even get her to eat a pancake.

I've been told a range of things from "it's a sensory thing" to the last specialist seems to think it's ENT related as she has had ongoing issues for most of her life and regularly has enlarged tonsils that it's related to the fact she has had pain when eating in the past. She is seeing an ENT next week.

I'm after suggestions from anyone who likewise has had a fussy terrible eater and how you got them eating more of a variety, if that is even possible.

personally if they are gaining weight and healthy then I dont care what they eat.
My 3.5yo ate cereal and a banana today for dinner.
I try to serve up a variety and they always have at least one thing they like on their plate. if they eat, great, if not its a sandwich/toast and then bath/bed time.
Eventually they become heaps more adventurous, my 5yo eats chili squid tentacles and durian!

I've found that getting my son (who is about the same age) involved in cooking has helped. I ask him to choose from certain ingredients & give him a job to help prepare the meal. Obviously you can't do this all the time but where possible it creates a but of excitement about eating.

I have heard that at this age as long as your child eats something that's enough. They will eat as much as they need when they need. But I also eat healthy & would like my kids eating the same so it can become a battle.

I found one handed cooks have some good recipes for fussy eaters too.

I have a bit of a different story, but still sort of relevant. My now 11 year old went through a choking episode almost 18mths ago. After that he refused to eat anything including all his favourite foods. Dinner time would end in a mass of tears, either from him, me, or both!! I could literally see him wasting away. I threatened him with hospital and being stomach fed, you name it I said it. I was a mess.
We ended up taking him to the shop and saying "you can have what ever you want provided it is not lollies etc" our trolley was basically full of yoghurt, and that is all he lived on for 4 months.

Everyone told me not to stress as long as he was eating it was all good. It was a really hard road to take. So my advice to you. Let your daughter eat what she wants. You can offer small portions of other food too, and if she takes what she likes and just eats that then so be it. I'd be more concerned if she wasn't eating at all. Good luck!

Sounds incredibly stressful, for you both!
My youngest was a fussy eater - she would eat anything white - crackers, yoghurt, cheese, bread and not much else aside from fruit. She was also breastfed until almost 4 years old, so I was never overly worried, but it was stressful trying to get her to eat other foods and worrying she was actually getting anything of nutritional value in addition to the BM.
So I can't say I know what you are going through, but I can hear how distressing and frustrating the situation is for you.
If it were personally, and knowing I had tried so many things to get her to eat other foods/textures, I would run with the ENT approach. Let her eat what she will eat - maybe try adding a child's liquid multivitamin to her yoghurt, pureed fruit/veg pouches to ease your mind a bit - and see what comes from addressing her ENT issues.
I know that I never connected the unwillingness to eat with teething or ear aches until after the fact and someone else suggested it to me, and sure enough, once those issues resolved, the eating resumed to a much better standard as well.

:hug: Good luck! If she continues to gain weight, etc, at least you know she is doing ok while you work on finding other solutions. I really hope things resolve for you soon, or at least you see some improvement.

Update:
My daughter is scheduled to have her tonsils and adenoids removed late April. ENT said they are large, not red but large and would therefore affect her airways and potentially swallowing. I have gotten rid of her morning bottle which wasn't too hard and so she will now eat something first thing in the morning with a cup of cold milk. She is still living on sausage and nuggets plus other bits and pieces she will eat. I've managed to get her to start eating pancakes and achieved that by simply using a cookie cutter and making them into love hearts, she wouldn't touch them before that. So will see what happens after those tonsils come out.

Definite progress then! Hope all goes well with her ops. :)

I hope the tonsils/adenoid removal helps. My niece is nearly 5 and has always been a picky eater - her idea of a treat for lunch or dinner was plain rice lol. No matter what was offered, she wouldn't even try most of it. She just had her tonsils/adenoids removed a month ago and already she has started trying all sorts of new things. Her mum had heard that kids will often eat better with more variety after the surgery but didn't think it would change Miss Fussy, but she is happy to admit she was wrong :) We can see how the texture of foods could be a factor with the throat being obstructed but couldn't think of why things would suddenly taste better after the op, but apparently it does.

So good luck with the op and I hope that your DD has the same outcome as my niece.

Thanks for that, gives me some hope. I'm just sick of cooking her the same things every night and not being able to give her foods that most other kids would eat without thinking about it. Even if I could just get her to eat pasta or a sandwich that would make me happy. I've discovered she likes peanut butter so I'm persisting and putting some on bread, she will eat bread plain, will eat peanut butter by itself so now the progress of eating the peanut butter ON the bread.. I'm hoping it will happen before Christmas! Lol