going through a miscarrige

Hi, I am, well was 5 and a half weeks pregnant when I began bleeding. It started off light and is now heavy with blood clots.

I still cannot believe that it's actually happening, it doesn't feel real. I am still hoping for a miracle, that I am still pregnant. I knew though that this baby is gone, I no longer feel any pregnancy symptoms.

I feel so lost and confused, and also feel like I am mourning the loss of this baby alone. I so badly wanted this baby, I loved it from the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test. I knew God had answered my prayers and given me another little miracle. I just don't understand why he allowed me to fall pregnant, just to take it away. am I terrible mum, is that why?

I know this is my fault as I have pcos. It took 2 years of ttc to fall pregnant with my son. it took just 6 months to concieve this time, I was taking clomid. I still don't want to believe it. We were so thrilled to find out that I was pregnant, my husband told all his family that I was pregnant. Now I will never be able to hold this baby or feel its first kick, it's just not fair.

I have a beautiful 15 month old son who needs me. I am putting on a smile for him, even though on the inside I feel crushed and empty.

I haven't gone to the docters yet, I don't know if I need to. should I see a doctor?