4.5 year old behaviour

we have been having some trouble this year (since 4) with our sons tantrums. I know to a degree they are normal but when is it not normal?

I get the feeling our DS kindy teachers are having difficulty managing them when they happen and we had a meeting recently asking me for ideas on how to manage it. I have told them what we do at home ( put him in his room till he stops screaming and then talk to him - can take close to 5/10mins) But they say that is not possible for them as there are 18 kids in the class and one of them cant be with him cuz if another kid needs attention they dont have any one else to look after the other kids.

My first issue is that there are floaters in the centre (LDC) so i think this could be managed fine. but they are asking me for suggestion and honestly i am out of suggestions.. I JUST DONT KNOW!

they are irregular and regular at the same time. he can go for weeks at a time with out any tantrums and then have two in four days at kindy (although does occasionally have them at home as well but not as often). Usually they stem from being told No to something or getting in trouble. Most of the time it is screaming but occasionally lately it has also involved throwing toys or trying to hit. (hence why he is put in a room to calm down with me close by)

This week we have already had a tantrum with throwing toys incident at kindy and we are supposed to have a kindy party on saturday for a boy in his class. I have told him that if i get another call from daycare or he gets another behaviour report he will not be able to go - but is this too severe a punishment for this type of thing and at this age?

I just dont know what to do and would appreciate any advice for myself and to pass on to the kindy.

Read more: DS 4.5 year old behaviour issues - 3-5 Years - Essential Baby
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thats quite a distant consequence. I try to make sure they are pretty prompt.
ie my kids have limited screen time, and shouting/hitting/fighting tells me that instead of watching a show, they need some quiet time in their rooms instead.
My 3.5yo has autism and consequences need to be explicit and immediate, and he needs to be told 'thats 1. we use a good voice inside. shouting is for outside. when I get to 3 you will be off to have some quiet time until you are calm. 2. do you want to do your shouting outside? when I say 3, you will be having quiet time until you are calm.