Cooper arrived safely - v long and hopefully not too full on!
It has taken me 4 weeks to tell my birthing story of my first son, but here goes...
Just to begin with - I had really hoped for a waterbirth, but was aware that things may not go according to plan, cause they never do when you plan something! I was open for pain relief such as an epidural, but hoped that to be the most.
It was 4 weeks ago I think on a Tuesday night at 11.58pm that I officially started to get contractions. I knew that they were because they were just like period pain, and they were exactly 10 minutes apart. Every hour after that they got less and less so by about 5am, they were approx 6 minutes apart. I was thinking - perfect - everything was going just how I expected that labour should...and then it all changed...
The contractions then started to go all over the shop! They went back up to 10 minutes for a few contractions then down to 5 minutes apart, and by about lunch time, even though there was no regular pattern, they were starting to get more intense. That was when I noticed that I couldn't get any relief by any position that I learnt at antenatal classes. The only way I got relief was by walking.
So by 2pm that afternoon, I started to walk around our house with my Mum, trying to bring on the labour. (If only I knew that I should've conserved my energy!) This did work and they started to get closer, and by 4pm, even though they were still all over the shop, I asked Mum to drive me to the hospital. I was sick of it, and I just wanted to find out if I was dilating, or getting closer.
When I got to the hospital, they discovered that my waters had broken, and checked me in. Upon doing an internal, they found that I was 2cm dilated. I then moved into the birthing suite - this was about 6pm, and the contractions were more intense, and I had to now power walk - up and down the hall - just to get some relief! I did find a little relief in the bath - but getting in the bath squatting was so very painful.
By 8pm, I was exhausted! The midwife recommended I have a sleeping pill along with Panadeine Forte so I could get some sleep. I was really worried that this was the wrong thing to do, but took them because I was so tired - not having any sleep from the night before, and speed walking all afternoon, really was taking its toll on my body.
I took them around 11pm, and the contractions slowed down to about 10 - 15 minutes apart, so inbetween them, I got some shut eye. But every time I got a contraction - I was up and walking till it passed. Strangely, and I still don't know why, I was in so much pain squatting, and getting up and down off the bed, was so painful, I felt like my son was hitting my pelvic bones!
So I tried to get some sleep but by 1pm I was wide awake but still so tired.
By 5am, I was in tears, and in and out of the shower and bath and walking and said to the nurse - I need some relief! I said I wanted an epidural, and as lovely as she was, I was so upset to hear her say that I had to wait til my Dr came around on his rounds and that wasn't until 8am! I couldn't bear to hear that! By 6am I said I couldn't wait that long, so she rang him at home, and he said that he would be on his way. I don't think that he arrived until about 7.30am, and I was crying with frustration and tiredness.
I begged him to get the anaethetist here so I could get the epidural. My midwife did an internal and said that I was only about 3cm dilated. I was so disappointed. But I was so happy when they gave me the epidural. It took them a long time, and when I asked them what was happening, they said that they had to redo it because they got it in the wrong spot. I asked what that meant and they said that i may get headaches for the next few days (little did I know just how bad they would be.)
So when they finally got it right, I was so relieved and fell asleep straight away. This was about 9.30am. They also gave me the drip (sorry can't remember what they use when they induce you) to bring on regular contractions and to hopefully get me more dilated.
At around 2pm, the midwife noticed that my sons heartbeat started to drop everytime I got a dose of the drip. It was concerning her so she rang my doc and he came in and checked it out, and also did an internal. He said that I was only now 4cm dilated and that my son was posterior his chin wasn't tucked in properly. He also said he could feel some swelling on my sons head where he had been trying to get into the birth canal with only 4cm entrance! So he said basically, I have to make a decision. He felt it was becoming dangerous if we were to continue down this track, as my son was getting distressed, and said that he thought that the safest was to have a casearean. I said that I just wanted him to be out in the safest way, and he said that he felt that this was it. I said fine, just please, do what was best. I was over it, and just wanted my son to arrive safely.
So they took the drip out, and I was in theatre about 4.30 and Cooper arrived at 4.50pm. They increased the anasthetic with the epidural, and I must say that I found the whole cesarean pretty horrific. They told me that I would feel pulling and tugging - I just didn't realise how much! As soon as my son was born, I asked them to just knock me out - which they did. Personally, I wouldn't do it again like that, but I am glad I didn't know what it would be like, because I saw my beautiful son being born.
The next night, the headaches came. (Apparently it only happens to about 1 in 100 people) Thankfully I got relief lying down, but the moment I sat up, I felt like my head was going to fall off my neck! It is very weird, I can't quite describe an epidural headache, but it really got me down.I had my newborn son, that I was finding very hard to enjoy because of these headaches, and by the 3rd day could only feed him lying down! By the 3rd day, I spoke to the anathetist and he said that I could just wait for it to heal itself, or go and get another epidural re-done, but this time, they take my blood and insert it in the needle. What this does, was creates a patch over the hole that had been created the first time they tried to put the needle in, and where the fluid was leaking, and creating these headaches (sorry, I don't know that medical terminology).
I was terrified that they had done some long term damaged but agreed to give it a go. I just couldn't go on like this, I was going home in a few days, and couldn't carry on like this! Anyway, I went in again, and took it easy for a whole day, not moving anywhere, only to go to the toilet. The midwife had to do everything - get my son latched onto my breast whilst lying down, changing his nappies etc. But thankfully, the next day I felt great!
Unfortunately though, the next day going home, they returned but only half the strength they were orginally. You can understand how scared I was, I was thinking that something really bad had happened, and I was going to have these headaches forever. But 2 days later, I had my first headache free day, and I have been fine since.
So how do I feel about everything that happened? Firstly, I thank God for my son. I have learned that indeed, things don't always go according to plan, and I thank God that I went in there with an open attitude. I must say, part of me feel sad that I didn't get to have a vaginal birth, but again, my little boy is here and that is all that matters. Really it could've been a lot worse.
It's funny - I look back on those 2 days with such joy because I met my little boy, but there is another feeling I can't put in words. Perhaps some disappointment that I really wanted to embrace the moment, but I was scared of what was going on with my body.
But all in all, life is good, and it has only just taken me now that I am starting to get my energy back. I am not sure if many people feel so exhausted (but isn't that motherhood anyway??) but I am such a very energetic person to begin with, so I suppose it is to be expected.
If you are reading this and are pregnant, please don't feel fear that this will happen to you. Everyones birth story is different. I used to read all of them when I was pregnant, and wonder what would happen to me. It is what it is, and it all happens for a reason.
So anyway, there is our story!
