Will it be too soon???

DH and I have decided that we will TTC after xmas this yr.
DD will by then be 4 - 5 months old. I have been speaking to some close friends about it and they all seem concerned that it is too soon and it will be too hard to cope with babies so close together. That is assuming that I will be able to conceive straight away. I dont think this is very likely!!! I have PCOS and spent 13 months TTC DD and only managed that with clomid/metformin. I dont want to go to the pills straight away. I want to see if I can lose weight and if that helps. Reason being that DD was born with cleft palate and I am a bit scared the meds might have contributed to the defect (dont know how tru this is but anyhoo....)
Another concern they have is that DD will need operation on her cleft when she is around 10 - 12 months old. My friends have said that it will be too hard because a) DD will need extra special care and this would bo hard enough without being preggers and b) DD operation will be very stressful on me and this might not be good for being preggers either.
I know they have the very best of intentions and are happy for me... but what ever happened to ... "good on you", "hope it all goes well", "i'm here for you" etc etc.... Now my closest friends have me doubting my own decision.. I honestly dont think I will fall straight away on my own and I really do beleive that even I do (and heres wishing and hopeing), I will be able to cope and everything will be fine.... This has turned into a bit of a rant... as I really just wanted to hear from ladies who have had babies close together.. or just from anyone who has an opinion on how soon is too soon???

hi..
i only have one child but i personally don't see any thing wrong with you wanting to have another child so soon, its your life, not any one elses, especially to judge you. I have heard great stories of couples with their children so close together. Its something that you decide, I'm not saying i dont think it will be hard, it most likely will be. But i don't want to convince you either way. Good luck with it :)

14 months difference.........if you concieve straight away...........that is the sam difference that I will have between Charlie and B3 when she comes......so it is defiantely do-able!

There are pros and cons all the varying age gaps: just do what is right for you and your family circumstances and situation........BEST OF LUCK

I am almost 12 months down the track of TTC after the loss of my Caitlyn and still yet to get pregnant (and yes, on the drugs too although without a confirmation of PCOS. Just poor ovulation :rolleyes:) I completely understand the desire to TTC so soon and we have already made the decision to start as soon as we safely deliver one (assuming we EVER get pregnant).

While their fears for you and your family may be valid, the choice and the your ability to cope can (and should) only be decided by you and your DH. I wish you every success in whatever decision you make. :)

A friend of mine has a 14 month gap between hers and while it may be hard in some ways it must be easyer in others her two are best of friends.
We are pg with twins at the moment and everyone keeps telling us how hard it's going to be even thou some of these people have no kids of thier own.
Good luck with your decision.

It is your decision in the end, and if you both are comfortable with the decision then go for it. You can never please all of the people all of the time, but its not them that has to get up to the kids at night and change there nappies and see all their milestones with pride. That belongs to you two only so dont start doubting your decision.

We are ttc #3 and my concern is that DS would still be young and B/Fng so would that attention be taken away from him. I can hear family already (DH side) oh it must of been a accident, and this is purely because we have one of each already. But i dont care because the decision is ours and no comments will change our mind.

Good luck

Hi :hello:

in regards to your dd being born with a cleft lip, this happens when parents are on no medication as well, so don't worry about that! My brother and I are close together and I have many friends that have children close together, and well it has pros and cons (from what I can see), as does any situation. Personally I say; if you both want to, then do it! And you will be there for your DD (when she has her op) whether you are pg or not, being pg will always put a smile on your face, and having 2 beautiful children at the end of it, well that is even a bigger smile! :)

:hug: either decision you choose!

Kate, we arent pg with #3 yet, just trying. I just know his family to well and the remarks that they make are the reason we dont have anything to do with them anymore. Except for christmas, id love to stop going to that to. But yes, people are rude, makes it worse when you are married into the family.

I guess my only comment is about your DD cleft operation. I can tell you (because I am a paediatric nurse who cares for a lot of cleft palate children) that a cleft palate operation is a significant operation, and your daughter will need a lot of attention and care. It can be quite painful, she'll need a lot of distraction and help feeding, and it will be a lot of work for you.

However, only you can know if you will be able to deal with this, so what ever your decision is, good luck!!

Hi,

Firstly the decision is for you and your partner only. I had the same thoughts about TTC again when my DD was a newborn. For some reason I just felt clucky for another, however I too had/have some goals that I need to get done first. Like losing weight (only 5 more kgs to go), getting wisdom teeth removed and sorting out my cycles ( I have had a miscarriage 3 months ago due to low progesterone).

I personally have decided to wait for another few months to TTC only because I have imagined myself and how my life may be when a new addition comes to our family. For me I would love my daughter to be just that bit older and more independant. I know personally how I can handle things and this suits me to have her almost 2yo or older.

Sorry to ramble.