DTD- ouch-tmi

i had my baby 8 weeks ago and recieved 2nd degree internal tears. We tried DTD for the first time this morning and couldnt finish as it stung alot. also there is like a hard ridge type thing which is sort of getting in the way and DP says he can feel it too and that it is different down there. i thought it would be alright after 6 weeks as they say thats when to start up again, i waited an extra two weeks to be on the safe side and it seems that i may need to wait longer. how long until it stops stinging/hurting and is it normal to still be unable to DTD painfree at 8 weeks post partum?

I'm pretty sure the 6 wk wait is only if you've had no tears. With a 2nd degree tear you'd expect things to take a bit longer to heal. Things are going to feel a bit different to as they've had to repair damage, but you'll find over time things will get better.

Hollo - the ridge you ar talking about could be the scar tissue from the stitches (whcih I presume you had) . I had a similar thing, and it hurts huh?

The best thing I can suggest for you is massage. Sounds ick, but if you get your fingers up there with maybe a bit of lube, and really work the area, over time you will break down the scar tissue, and things will be easier.

Sex got easier for us after AF returned very early for me (about 8w post birth I think?? even though I was completely breastfeeding!!!) and I started using tampons. They really hurt at first, but with a bit of time even loosened up down there.

WE had plenty of "tries" in the first couple of months too that ended up in tears and sobbing. I know how you feel :(

{{{{{hugs}}}} Like Fi, I had 2nd degree tears too which required internal stitches. It's definately a bit tighter there as well as a bit of scar tissue, but I just found if you take your time it is eventually ok. My DH was wonderful at not putting pressure on me if it was too uncomfortable.

I found using tampons again a little uncomfortable the first cycle of AF after lochia (mind you, I didn't get AF back until Maddy was 8 months old) but this time around it's been a bit more comfortable.

I had an epi & had lot's of stitches too, I know it hurt like heck at aboyut 10wks (I was so scared)... But now all I can say is OMG! I honestly started to think that maybe I'd never enjoy sesx again, I am glad to say from about 6 months after Indah's birth it got better & I relaxed more about it & wasnt all tensed up & now its' just like before just better!!!

Take it slowly I know I could feel my scare tissue pulling & rubbing & it made me feel ill, it was all I was concentrating on.... Now it's all good!!!

thanks girls. its reassuring to know that i am not a freak: :-) i guess i will just have to take it slowly and perservere. thanks again.

Hollo - I had my bub 9 weeks ago, I received 4th degree tears up to and including the inside of my anal area, at my OB appointment at 3 weeks post birth I was told that when we go to DTD for the first few times it will be uncomfortable but should never be painfull.

My DH had a great thought about this whole situation, knowing I`d be nervous and tense up etc, etc, etc that was for him to play around the area so I get used to the feeling and relax a bit with just his finger before we actually go to DTD. I have had an infection for the pass 5 weeks down in that area in the last 2 days it`s the first time I`ve been pain free down there since Adrian was born so DH thought it is now his chance to play around down there with a finger, I`m surprised at how much better it feels down there then what I had imagined LOL but still can`t DTD till my 3 month check up in 1 month`s time so he has to hold out for a bit longer.

After all this what I`m most likely saying is the same as Fi, massage whatever way you feel like it, your finger or DH`s :)

I can honestly say that my scar really bothered me for 10 months and I never thought it would get better. I though my lady was ruined forever, but all of a sudden she is ok and I am enjoying sex again. All the best and dont worry, give your self time

Well Cooper is nearly 4 months old and we still haven't DTD. We tried once and it hurt and now I'm too scared. I know a lot of it is all in my mind too. At my 6 week check the OB said things looked a bit tight down there. So now that's all I can think about. He said if the pain is too much I will have to see him again to be fixed.

What a disaster. :crying:

Well almost 5 months later and it still hurts for us! I had a few people tell me that the more we did it the better it would get - WROnG! It actually got worse, so I went to the gyno and nothing appeared to be abnormal (mind you it looks completely abnormal to me after having bub!) but she referred me off for an ultrasound which I go to next week and then we have another appointment but if nothing shows up in the scan then they'll have to investigate a bit further.
So give it time and then if it's still hurting I would go and see someone.

Sorry this doesn't really help you! But remember what my gyno said to me 'its not normal if it hurts'

I found that DTD has been really uncomfy up until now. So 13 weeks later I have found it good again. Just take it slow and gentle and it will get better