Kids and labour

For those who already have kids what did they do while you were in labour ?

I am having an elective c/section and want Kimberley to be at the hospital for after the birth so she understands and is included in what is going on. DH will be with her as he will not come in with me will i am having the c/section.
Also it depends if the hospital will allow this also.

Does this sound okay to have her at the hospital waiting ?

We dropped Kameron off the day I was induced at MIL's and then they brought him to the hospital the next morning since I didn't get back to the ward till 1am.

Best way is to ask the hospital what their policy is. I am pretty sure they didn't mind your own children there during labour for a vaginal birth, but it isn't something I would want to submit my kids too at such a young age as they wouldn't understand what was happening to mummy. Since your having a C/sect and Paul doesn't wish to go in with you then I don't see why Kimberley would not be allowed to stay with him, but like I said best way is to ask them yourself as every hospital is different.

Love

Thanks Kathryn.

It is something that i am still thinking about also it depends on what time they do it.

I know Paul will not go in with me as they will have to pick him off the floor if he does. He is no good with needles he can't even watch someone having a c/section on the telly.

Michelle,

I can't see why you can't bring your DD with you, especially seeing your DH won't be going in with you while you have your c-section. She will be accompanied the whole time - why not!

I'm starting to think about what we do with my 'to-be' 8yo dd when I go into labour. Sure I've got friends to farm her out to for as long as it takes, but now I'm wondering if we bring her to the birth.

I don't know if it will be a good thing or a bad thing; whether she's ready for it, whether it will be a good way to get her to meet the new baby, whether it's just going to be another dragged out 31 hour labour like her birth was.

Without hi-jacking your post, has anyone else taken their older child to the birth of their baby?

What was your experience?

Cheers,
Rachel

When I had DD there was a father & son in the delivery suite in the next room with the Mother, The Dad was busyt chasing the child around, at a guess I'd say he was about 3-4...
I have spoken to DD, she says she doesn't want to see blood & mum in pain so will come to the hospital as soon as baby is delivered!!!

I think that alot of kids would find it scary to see thier Mum in pain and moaning and groaning. Also there is the possibilty that they could feel a bit hurt and ignored a bit hurt if you withdraw during labour. IMO if you want your kids there you would need to spend quite a bit of time beforehand educating them about what they will see. You might want to consider having a a babysitter close by (in the waiting room) so that they can opt out any time they choose or if any complications arise they can leave.
Also in a long labour they might get bored so maybe they could wait until you actually start pushing before coming in so that they can see the birth but miss most of the actual labour.
In my hospital siblings were allowed to be present but you had to have an extra support person to look after them.

I do think it would depend on the child in question also.. their developmental level, their ability to understand whats happening and very importantly... that they have been fully educated about whats happening.. and had a carer of their own that could take them in and out..
(This is all quite easy in a homebirth, coz the child is in their own environment, and thus more comfortable)..

If planning on the child attending a hospital birth, maybe they should be included in some prebirth hosp tours, that way the environment is not intimidating..

Michelle - I dont see any prob with your daughter waiting with your partner.. When my brother was born, I was 7 and I waited out with my grandparents for him to be born.
You can ask the hosp staff that soon as the baby leaves you, to be taken to your family, or them summoned to the nursery. They can then help bath the baby, cuddled it as a newborn.. and share in the wonderful experience.. I know this happened when my bro was born, I was one of the first people to hold him/cuddle him, and its still a wonderful memory that ill never forget. Ofc theyre accompanied by a nurse. :D

K

MIchelle I am with everyone else. your dd would be supervised so I can't see a prob, different if she wasn't supervised. i think it would be hard to have other kids there in the actual birth and would think you would need a 2nd support person who could take the kids out if necessary and also explain to them what's going on.

My Mum has watched the kids when I have gone into labour. Jordan saw Josh about 8am on the morning he was born ( he was born about 3am), Joshua and Jemma came up at 9.30pm when Jemma was born and then went back to Mum's to stay the night, and Arron brought the kids up to the hospital about 7.30am on the morning Jessica was born (she was born just after 6am). Each time they have seen a pretty much just born bub, and then they go away and give me a rest.

I wouldn't have siblings in the actual birth, I don't think my kids could cope with that experience, but thats just my opinion.

Cheers Michelle

I personally wouldn't have the kids watching, if they are little they wouldn't understan dwhy mummies in pain, etc and if they were older I think it would be traumatic, In your case since DD and DH are not actually going to be present at the birth I say go for it!!

I have an amazing children's book and its about a homebirth from a child's perspective. And what happens to mummy, and how frustrating it is when she's screaming all the time. And how it hurts etc etc. I personally think it depends on the level of education your children currently have (about the concept of birth and what happens etc) and how comfortable they are with you and whether or not you screaming/panting/looking distressed would affect them. I personally think its subjective to each child and each parent. I often throw the idea around in my head alot. A part of me thinks its too much for a little brain to cope with, but then the other part of me thinks what a beautiful and amazing experience it would be. And quite honestly if Paris was part of it I would want her along with daddy to be the first to touch the new baby. My BIL's GF was present at her mothers last two labours and she said it didn't bother her one bit, she said she thought it was the most amazing and interesting experience and it didn't scar her emotionally at all.

But getting back to the original topic, Michelle I agree with everyone else, if you are having a planned c/s and your DH is going to be there with DD I don't think it would be a problem. I don't think it would be a problem even if Kimberly was with a friend or relative waiting outside.

Goodluck!

*hugs*
Cailin

Michelle I think it’s a good idea to have your daughter there at the hospital to be involved. Having some other special people around too would be handy so your husband has back up, but I suppose c/sections don’t take too long, and if planned will happen at a civilized time unlike many other births. It’s lovely that you’re thinking about how involving her will affect her understanding.

Rachel & Shannon, I’m all for having kids that age at the birth, if it feels right for you.

Lola was 4 at Ruth’s birth. We had read age appropriate books together, she’d been with me for midwife appointments, and we’d talked about what it would be like. She had my Mum and a friend looking after her, and they’d taken her out for a walk about an hour before the birth as it was getting a bit boring for everyone, and probably for them all to have a break from my howling. Being at home made it very easy, and it was in the daytime. My dog and cat were with me too, & husband & 2 midwives. Lola arrived back from her walk moments after Ruth was born, so missed the moment, but still lots of blood & guts with her present. She was very relaxed about it and I was very glad she was involved. She doesn’t remember it now, but we have the photos.

When Angus was born Lola, aged 11 this time, was with us too, this time in hospital and the middle of the night. DH had a list of 5 people to call, the plan being to get both kids home, have someone look after them at home, then bring them to the hospital close to the birth time (had read books with them & talked about it again) and look after them there so they could be with me but not hanging around for 12 hours. DH called no-one! We were on our own, Ruth missed the whole thing (visiting with her father), and Lola was an angel, fetching water and wash cloths & holding the camera. There was no-one else with her, but we told her to sleep on the couch as much as she could, and to leave the room whenever she needed to & decide how she felt when the time came. She wouldn’t have missed it & I’m glad she was there. Ruth was fetched from school a couple of hours after the birth.

You definitely need someone to look after them other than your partner/immediate birth helper (although Lola was fine on her own), and lots of preparation, and arrangements in case of very long labours to get them home/bring them from home. Remember, they can always leave the room if it seems the right thing to do or they just want to. The age of the child would have a lot to do with it too. Birralee is fine with kids present as long as they have a separate carer.

Some people are just not comfortable with it, but I think it’s wonderful to treat the event as one that’s normal and healthy where everyone is there to support mum. When Lola was born I had 2 midwives, hubby, cat, dog, birth helper, mum, & dad & brother showed up too & hung around the edges.

Cailin, this book sounds great. What age of child is it written for & could you tell us the title/author?