Men at mother's groups

What's the ettiquette for men being in mother's groups? Can men join in? I am thinking of going part time at my job when the baby is born and Susie goes back to work. I like to go out for coffee and stuff, but I don't know a lot of stay at home dad's in my area. Where we work, they have a couple of mother's groups. Can guys join? Or is it some secret place where women bond?? Not looking to take over, but it would be nice for interacting with babies, learning stuff. Obviously there would need to be a bit of discretion re: breastfeeding, etc, but what's the rules??

Any help/advice would be appreciated!

Deano

Deano,

I don't know if there is a secret standard, but in both my Mummies Groups (one in Darwin, one in Adelaide) the Dads are MORE than welcome.....I love it when a Daddy is there as they tend to play with the babies/kids constantly, which is lovely.

And they add a great dimension to all the conversations, which is brilliant.

My brother was a SAHD to my nephew and he always went to Mothers Group.....and is still mates with a lot of the Mums. (He is in WA).

In terms of BF, it doesn't phase me at all......BF for me is not sexual, and I am sure no bloke is ever perving on me when I have my boob out......

HTH. I say go for it.

I think it's a great idea, go for it!! The kids love it & it's a great way to get together with other parents.

I don't think there really is an ettiquette for these sort of groups. Mine was started up as a class organised through the ECHN on things like sleep, playing, solids etc, so if you are going to one started like that I'd make sure to go from the start. That way you're not coming into an established group, I think that would be overwhelming for anyone really.

As for the bonding part of the group, we spend most of our time chatting about what the bubs had been doing each week & that isn't related to whether you're a mum or dad IMO. We've had dads come to ours a few times & no-one's had a problem with it and we sometimes have group on a weekend so the dads can come to.

Both BIL and SIL have been going to theirs. It was actually called new parents group rather than mothers group.

My daughter loves nothing more than to play with her daddy, so usually he does come along unless he's working or something. As far as I can tell men are more than welcome at any parents group in the same right as the mother. In fact, I think seeing a man at any parent/kiddy gathering is a wonderful thing!

When I went back to work my DP started going to MG in place of me. The girls welcomed him with open arms.
When they get a little older and start to socialise, MG isn't so much about the mums anymore, but more about providing a safe environment for kids to play and interact in.
Jenna would have greatly missed the time with her friends if Shane hadn't taken her.
As for the feeding thing - you will find that by a few months down the track, most women are pretty comfy about others seeing them feed. When a baby is hungry - you just gotta feed.

Its a massive support for you as well, you can discuss sleeping, eating, playing, development and with everyone bouncing ideas off each other it helps alot.

My DH is a SAHD and he came to Mothers Group with Amy and I before I went back to work. He now takes Amy to Playgroup and finds the mums friendly. We moved recently and I rang around the different groups in our area to find out which ones just sat around and drank coffee while the kids played and which ones were more interactive with their kids. We have found a great one, although I haven't been yet unfortunately because I work full time but hope to get there soon. Good luck!

Aussiedeano,

We have a dad that comes to ours and it is great. I think more dads should go to mothers groups. Go for it, its just a matter of finding the right one for you.

I must say you will learn more about women than you ever have i think.. Hee hee hee!

And it is an advantage to your wife as you will then become even more in touch with your girly side, you can also get great tips on pressies etc etc when birthdays come around so many advantages when you go to a mothers group!:)

Jen

We go to playgroup rather than 'mothers group' and we often have dad's drop in on their days off. It's a nice change of scenery. Serious though, it's great to see dad's interested in their kid's lives.

Go for it.

I've seen notices for Dad's groups at my ECH clinic. I geuss they're a bit rarer than Mum's groups but its probably nice for them so they can discuss secret men's business.

Our mothers group, which was originally started up by the CHN, was specifically just for mums, but there were always quite a few dads at the playgroup instead.