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This may sound really silly, but DH has said he's not interested in another baby, but will listen to my reasons, once and once only. Soooo i really want to compile not only a long, but an impressive list - and one that he will remember. Ive got all these reasons in my head but i dont know how to write them down.
Besides the obvious (interaction with siblings, growth of our family), what would be your reasons?
Mark has said he's not interested in another one too. He was trying to convince me that we're done but I told him Josiah is too young for me to say I'm done having babies. I told him its a big deal for a woman to say she's not having any more kids, and realise that she'll never be pregnant again, have all those baby firsts, have that bond with a newborn etc, and I'm just not ready to say that. He has to give me until Josiah is 3 and then we'll decide. Hopefully by then he would have changed his mind - or we've got another surprise. (Both of my babies have been a surprise) To my amazement, he's actually accepted that - and now I've got 3 years to work on him!
To be perfectly honest, I'm quite content with my 2 atm (not that I'll tell him that), but who knows how I'll feel in a couple of years.
I know it doesn't really answer your question, but it may buy you some time....
Good luck
Bel
DId you or he come from a family bigger than what you have cause that may work in your favour?
My DH comes from a family of just him and his brother- whereas i am the eldest of four. He has seen how close i am with my siblings and we often all hang out together...the good thing about having a few siblings is the variation - you'll always be on friendly terms with one of them! My DH often feels that he was a little isolated when he was growing up as he is quite different from his brother - just totally different interests and ideas, he also felt that their relationship was made quite competitive just being the two of them. Well that's just one reason why we will have more.
The reason i will not settle with only 2 (unless of course for health reasons i was unable) is because this is my life - what i desire for my future. I am a teacher - so children have always been a huge part of my life but i figure i just find more joy and pleasure raising my own. It really is a difficult thing to express but i just know deep in myself that i would not be satisfied and complete if my DH suddenly decided 2 was enough for us...that's just me.
If this is something really really important for you then keep fighting for it (unless of course your DH can give you valid reasons that you can understand, why he is against anymore). I hope you can change his mind :)
Thats a bit sad and unfair! I don't really have anything you can add to your list, but I hope your hubby can see how important this is to you and considers it at least. And if not don't give up hope keep at him! He might get it eventually. Meh at only once what a load of hogwash! GOODLUCK!!!:
*hugs*
Cailin
I would find it hard to put into words the reasons why I wanted another baby. If someone asked me, why did you want a 3rd?, I would just have to say, because I wanted to. It felt right, I guess. I didn't really think about things like giving my kids another sibling, or growing our family or anything like that. There was no practical reason why I wanted another one - I just did, simple as that. Can't explain it, it's just a maternal thing I guess.
Anyway, my point is, sometimes it's not as easy as just listing the reasons or the pros and cons. I did do that, to sort out my own feelings in my head I guess, but in the end it didn't have much bearing on our decision. DH wasn't that keen at first on having #3 but he came around (quite easily in fact, so he obviously wasn't that against it!) without needing a list or anything.
I agree with Cailin, it's not really fair for DH to impose conditions on you, like writing a list and hearing it once only. Also, do you think that the list will really change his mind? It sounds to me like he has already decided he is not interested in another and the fact that he will deign only to read the list once makes me think that it is more to humour you, than to really change his mind. Sorry if that sounds harsh, obviously I don't know your DH. I do hope that it helps him realise that this is something that is very important to you and worthy of serious discussion, with or without a list.