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every time i tell my 9 mth old son "NO" or the likes in a stern voice he gets a shiver up his spine. I can say no to him 5 times in a minute when he wants to touch something he shouldnt and without fail he shivers every time.
Is this weird?
Normal?
Obvoiusly he knows he is being told off as its the only time he does it, but it doesnt stop him from doing the same thing again 2 minutes later.
I personally think 9months is very young to be using a stern voice too and saying no to at all...really at that age their understanding of what they are doing is very limited. I very rarely tell my almost 15 month off for anything..its just too young.
Jo
I'm not so sure about the shivering thing, maybe it's just he's getting a bit of a shock from mummy using her cranky voice?
Zander reacts differently each time he gets yelled at but since forever as we have been telling him no from the moment he could move & touch things he shouldn't be, his first reaction has been to pull back from whatever he is doing. That's exactly what we want him to do, stop what he is doing so we can then explain why we said no to him.
My 7.5 mth old gets told No, and he knows what a stern voice is. IMO if you want to set boundaries, it can be done albeit gently, from an early age. But the most effective way of setting boundaries I believe is still positive reinforcement. We have a 1, 2, 3 rule for most things being that we'll tell him no 3 times then move him to another area. That way it gives him the opportunity to make the a choice which is important too. If he does decide to move away we'll clap and praise him and he'll get all happy and excited. I don't think its bad to set boundaries for an infant but I do think its important to reinforce the positives. In my experience its easier to start off with gentle boundaries than to try and enforce them when they are older as there tends to be less tantrums iykwim? Not really sure what the shivers mean, maybe try "uhuhuh" which is more effective for us than no.
Goodluck.
*hugs*
Cailin
I told Ashlea NO from a young age, and do the same with my 7 1/2 month old nephew who i look after each day for the morning. I think its important esspecially with things like reaching out to play with the heater. He gets told NO even if its not turned on as we want him to learn now not to touch it rather than have him get burned becasue he didn't know.
I agree with Sarah, the shiver or shudder is probably a reaction to your stern voice. Ashlea (5) jumps half a mile if she's doing something she shouldn't and I walk in and use my 'grumpy mum' voice. She hates getting caught!!
Also, like Cailin said, maybe a stern NO for dangerous things, electricity point, heaters etc, but maybe a more gentle 'uhuh' for other things??
I do find "uhuhuh" works better too, Just didnt know how to spell it so I used the word "No" instead.
He definetly responds well to a stern voice and knows not to touch things again, Was more interested if anyone had expreienced or heard the shiver thing. Its probably a form of nervous reaction or shock as you say.
It is cute though sort of defeats the purpose telling him NO uhuhuh or whatever sternly to finish off with me laughing at his shiver.
thanks heaps.
Aidyn has that shudder or shivering thing happening too... although I only notice it about once a day that he does it. Yesterday he did it when looking at a dead bird that our cat dragged up to the door...