Husband has stage fright

Hi,

My husband is having stage fright. I need him to perform (right now) and he cant seem to get erect.

Has anyone else ever come across this ?

This is our first attempt at trying to get pregnant.

Desperate

We've never had that problem, but my DH has been unable to finish a few times.

Sadly, I don't think there's anything that can be done to fix the problem right now, I try really hard to not tell DH anything along the lines of "I think I'm fertile, we need to BD NOW"

I'm sorry I'm not much help!

BW

I know it's really difficult when you are desperate to conceive your baby, but guys can be so insecure - there's so much pressure on them to 'deliver the goods' - and it's no wonder that sometimes that can be overwealming. As I said, I know it's difficult, but if you can try to think of ways (physical and verbal) to reassure him that you think he's sexy and you want to be with him not just for what he can give you, that's a pretty strong aphrodesiac...
HTH and all the best for you both. :hug:

I think you have to make sure he knows its not just all about you getting pregnant out of it. I think that would probably freak out some guys. I dont know if you do this or not, but maybe try not to mention about how youre about to O so you should be BDing now etc.

Hi,

We had this problem. We actually had two failed attempts then a big fight! I had mistakenly told DH that it was the window to fall pregnant. That was definitely a romance killer. My brother came over and counselled us and explained to me how hard it was for guys to feel under pressure, the media gives the wrong portrayal etc etc. We made up and without putting pressure on him it worked and we conceived that night.

Definitely don't tell him when the time is. Try not to act too crazy like we have to do it here and now. Maybe have a nice dinner together in a non-threatening way. Spend some time getting him in the mood. I would have to think that would be a winner. The pressure is what kills it. Good luck!

Hey darl,

I know exactly what your going through as my DP is going through the samething, its really hard to deal with when it happens as you sooooo want a baby and then they go and do this to you, but thats when you have to put your feelings aside and be there for him ( as angry or hurt that you might be) as they go through all the stress with you, and they know how much having a baby means to you and knowing you need him to perform and in the end it gets that much for them that they have trouble.

What i do now with my DP is when i know we need to bd i will try and if he has troulbe we agree ok we will give it ago in another hour or so, but in the mean time do awhole lot of tender kisses and soft touches make sure the tv is off and the phone is off the hook, turn the lights off and let your imagination go, do something that you know drives him crazy or something you dont do very often in the bedroom or even something new, as all of this will help him to perform for you, sorry if there's tmi

The main thing is to let him no that no matter what you love him and you always will, wether you do it that night or not, As it would be extremely hard for him and he would be very very embarrased and feeling very much like he has let you down and has let himself down as a man, and just let him know that you guys will work through this thing together,

Hope this has helped in some way, good luck sweetie

Yep, this happens to DP quite often... veeeery annoying!! I know exactly how frustrating it is, esp when there is no problem any other time...
One thing that I found worked was .. ahem... a bit of oral action...(sorry you all really didn't need to know that)

GL and I hope you can get a deposit asap!!

Tanya

Hi Tryinghelp,

I agree with Mummy2Chloe. Making a baby is a very intimate time. Because you're aware of where you are in your cycle and are consciously trying to conceive (rather than trying randomly), you will both want to remember the few days where you tried (and succeeded) with fond memories.

Talk to your DH. Ask him how he's feeling. This process is about both of you and he will feel loved and respected that you're taking the time to hear where his heart is.

Thanks ladies,

After a little of what Tanya suggested we got going again - now he seems to make it a bargaining tool each time - now for the two week wait.