I am scared about daycare!!

OK, I haven't managed to chat to Paige's daycare yet...to eleviate all of this anxiety about the furture...so I thought I would ask you guys your experences.

Paige will be going into daycare at 4 months for 2 days per week...then she will be going fulltime when I go back to work in June 2007.

I just have all of these fears at the moment...which I know are silly...I am just trying to picture her being looked after by someone else for so long and it scares me. I shouldnt really even be living so far ahead.

I have no choice but to return to work next year....so the 2 days Paige is booked in are so that we BOTH get used to the separation, she gets to know her carers before going fulltime, and it gives me a chance to work some relief teaching at my school.

OK here are my fears/worries/questions...

1) Do they wrap your child to sleep, or by then should I have her used to day naps without being wrapped?

2) I am so scared that Paige will be left to cry...ok I understand that they have 4 other children in their care (1:5ratio)...but seeing that I never really leave Paige to cry...I kind of always pre-empt what she is grizzling about. I am scared that she will be left to cry and that breaks my heart. I know I have to toughen up a little and not be worried, cos a little bit of crying doesn't hurt right?

3) I am guessing that I let them know what Paige's daytime routine is, and do they try and stick to that?

Please help me deal with a lot of this before the shcool year starts!!

I am going to try and get to the centre early next week to see if our application has been accepted and then discuss all this stuff.

Depending on the day care unfortunately. These are the questions I have asked:

1. What is your protocol for settling babies to sleep?

2. We wrap our baby, what are the sleeping conditions?


Matilda was always a bad sleeper & when we were checking out centres these were foremost on my mind so I would ask what their techniques were, did they look at the clock or the baby? etc... so I would write down exactly what I did at home, i.e. wrapped loosly with dummy & patted on the bum until she fell asleep, or rocked in arms until she closed her eyes & then patted for a few minutes in the cot. Most places will happily do it your way if thats what is easiest to get the baby to sleep. Obviously there are times when they can't do it, but the majority will have someone basically stationed in the cot room to help.

Chrissy - I dont have any answers for you, but I wanted to let you that you are not alone in having these fears.
I personally dont want to put my children in daycare, not becasue I dont think they will do a good job, but because I'm a big chicken that something will go wrong.
The crazy thing is 4 people in DP's family work within the local area in childcare, so how can I say I dont trust his family!
Anyway - I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, I think every single mum out there has these feelings of apprehension, and hopefully you can find the perfect centre to match your parenting techniques.

Chrissy, This has been a biggie for me too, I have to return to work, that's just the way our life is... I wish it wasnt but I know it is & I cant do anything about it...
I started back to work when Indah was about 5 months old, at the time my older sister cared for her 3 days & my Mum did the other 2, recently my sister hit rock bottom & came crashing down & I no longer coukld use her as a carer for my child... Dh & I juggled having a day off each here & there & my Aunt had Indah a couple of days also.. So after a month or so of this I called the local council as I wanted her to be cared for at Family Day Care, I was interviewed about the way I care for my child & if it suited any particular carer in the area, I was told that for the days I required care for Indah there was an Indian woman available, so I met with her at her home I asked her questions looked at all her records, certificates the way she intercated with the other children & I was happy with her, she is very quietly spoken, she asked me to write down Indah's generaly routine as she would stick to it...

It has been a week now since Indah started, I felt guilty & like I wasnt doing my best as her Mother but without me working we'd have nothing!..

I dropped Indah off this week (Dh was still on holidays last week so he took her for an hour here & there!)
On Monday she cried when I kissed her goodbye, but its' best to let them know your leaving than sneaking out as they will then forever be afraid of you leaving them..
So I kissed her goodbye & told her I love her & I will see her later, she was crying & tried to grab/climb back over to me, but I had to leave, by the time I was at my car, she had stopped & I called later that day & she said she stopped crying had some breakfast & fruit then some other kids arrived & she was now happily playing & laughing at the older kids (as Family day care can only have 1 child under 2) then max 3 kids over 2)
On Tuesday she c ried again but again was quietr soon after, they write her daily activities, eating sleeping, nappies etc in a book so I know what's going on every day...
She is really loving interacting with the older kids which makes me happy & I am comfortable with this carer infact she says she puts her in the cot & Indah grabs a tuft of her hgair & goes instantly to sleep..

I'd write down every thing you do & you want them to continue to do to help Paige settle in & they will do their utmost to keep her in your routine!!!

Good Luck it is very very difficult... On Mummy's heartstrings!!!!

Christyt

to answer to your Qustions with wrapping, ask what there polices are on this all centres will have a handbook for parents try and read this before you put your DD isto the centre so you can get a list of Questions to ask them.

How many children will be in the room? They will try not to leave your DD to cry but to be honnist if there is 5 babies crying you can not get to all of them at once.


Alot of child care centre these days you Agency staff so Write her routine down for them, so all staff will know what is happening through out the day.

If you have any Questions you can email me on Kmareehowell@hotmail.com, as i am a qualified childcare worker. I may not do it anymore but i worked doing this for a while.

Milo's creche were quite good with settling him, they used patting rocking etc, I know cos I checked up on them. He started there at 5 months, by which time he was in a grobag not wrapped, but they seemed happy to do that.

When I checked a few months later, they were not using his bag/s anymore, but he was still sleeping well, so I didn't really mind because now he will sleep well either way.

I went with a full A4 page of questions, which I handed to the director, and she spent a good hour going through them with me and showing me around the centre etc.

Why don't you try family daycare instead? Less kids, more attention, you get to meet the carer first and its all year round. You/your child can build a better relationship with them too.

Kelly,
I did look into Family Daycare...and weighed up the pro's and con's...and came to the decision that I would prefer Paige to be in the childcare centre that is right next door to the school I teach at. I know the daycare has a good reputation plus I would eliminate all of the too-ing and fro-ing between daycare and work, she would simpy come to school with me each day and I walk her into the daycare centre. Being nextdoor also, if there is any problems I am just next door and can get there pretty much straight away. I just feel better knowing she is just next door, and that i can visit her during lunch breaks I needed too etc.
I spoke to the centre manager today, so far Paige has one day a week starting end January...we will do a transition period with her, starting with half days...then biuld up. I am also going to pop in again in the new year and meet with the manager with my list of questions.

Thank you to everyone who has shared their stories etc.

:)

Good Luck Chrissy, it is very hard on the heart strings but from seeing a few work mates kids whom have been in child care from early on these kids are all very outspoken & confident in starting school this year (3 ladies i work with all have prep kids for next year & all have been in care since about 5-8 months of age!)

I know it killed me giving Indah to my sister but after 3 or so weeks it gets easier!!!