Discussing part time options with DH

Hi there,

Although I'm only in the early stages of pregnancy (6wks), I think I will be telling work that I am pregnant sometime after Christmas.

I work in a very high stress job and DH has even said I should quit altogther (not something I'd be prepared to do - and neither would he, as we like the money!). Anyway DH doesn't love his job too much (never really has liked working) and I would love for him to have the chance to work part time, once I finish maternity leave. Although I would also like to work part time, too. Tried to raise this the other night, but he got cranky and wanted to know why I would be thinking about this so soon, and we don't know what anything's going to be like once the baby comes - maybe I'll need to stay home full time, maybe this, maybe that! I just like to have a plan, but he wants to leave everything open- I'm happy for that plan to change, but just like to have something to work from.

I also think it would be good if he could look into the options for going part time at his job- just to test the waters.

Am I being unreasonable to at least want to have a plan at this early stage? Any thoughts as to how I should approach it again? Also, if there are other couples both working part time with children, I'd be interested to know how well it works (financially and family wise)

Maybe he is hesitant to talk about it because it just doesn't seem real to him yet? I don't think you are being unreasonable to want to plan ahead this early, you need to do your sums and work out how you will be financially and your work shedule once baby arrives. Try bringing it up again in a little while, maybe on a weekend and he is not tired from work kwim?

You aren't being unreasonable, but men are just men. I've not yet told my DH I no way want to go back to anything full-time. We can survive without my wage, so whatever I earn would just go as savings... btw, he earns a little more than we need all by himself, we just "need" the extra money for things for him to play with. I'm hoping he sees this for himself once I stop getting paid!

I agree with Sherie, tell him when he's not going to be all snappy because he thinks he's tired. If you can, try putting away half of your wage and his wage now, so you'll know what a part-time budget will be (and you'll have savings if it all goes horribly wrong in a couple of months' time, which you won't have the benefit of post-baby).

I don't think it's unreasonable to want to discuss it early, especially if you'll need to find out if both your employers are happy to accommodate part time work. Maybe just bring it up every now and then, but don't have a big discussion about it unless he seems ready?

DH and I are both working part time (we were both full time before DD was born, he worked from home for 2 days a week from the time DD was born while I was on leave, then we both went part time - 3 days per week - when I returned to work at 8 months). It works really well for us, as we can manage financially on just over one full time wage, and we both get plenty of time to spend with DD! I'd definitely recommend it if you're able to :)