putting baby to into cot asleep

Hi

During the day DS is hard to settle, and 9/10 times he will fall asleep on me, he is 13weeks.. i then sneak into his cot and place him in, and most times he just goes straight back to sleep.. nights are no problems with settling, its feed then sleep. quite often during the day i do the . feed, play , feed , sleep..

am i creating bad sleep pattern etc, getting him to fall asleep on me a lot of the time.. i know he can go to sleep for other people, as mother in law puts him to bed at her home quite often, so that is no problem...

I've heard some people say it is a bad habit to start, letting them fall asleep on you. But my daughter was premmie, and breastfeeds used to wear her out, so she'd fall asleep on me. She still does, even at 6 months. And when i do put her to bed awake, she settles herself. If you want to put your son to bed awake, maybe wrap him?? HTH

I think it's only a problem if you think you'll get tired of being the one to put him to sleep. Altho it sounds like he settles for others anyway which is great.

I feed Tallon to sleep - altho that's starting to not work as well these days ;) And it is a little tiring being the only one to settle him, but I'm happy to do it, as I think it's very comforting for him, and a lovely way for him to fall asleep :)

At 13 weeks tho, I think we were usign the pram a lot through the day, it was the only place he would stay asleep, and it was handy coz if he stirred, it was easy to quickly rock the pram to help him sleep again.

I say at that age, you just do what works :)

Well, Jesse falls asleep on me at night and i put him to bed then. He stirs a little but falls asleep shortly after being put down. During the day it can be either way. He can fall asleep on me and ill put him to bed or i can put him to bed when he's looking tired and he will self settle. During the day i use music and a mobile aswell which helps settle him. He can wake and be in there talking his head off and ill just let him be and he'll fall back asleep after a little while.
I think, as long as they have the ability to self settle then its not really too big of a problem.

Jesse sounds just like anneliese, she's really started talking to herself lately, ad as im walking past her room to put the boys to bed, i can hear her chatting to herself...

She only gets really grumpy when i put her to be awake if she rolls onto her tummy. She hates being on her tummy, and will scream...

Maggie, I think you need to decide what you are comfortable with. DS#1 used to fall asleep on me a lot of the time but has always been able to settle himself to sleep anyway. But this is probably not true of all bubs. So the short answer to your question is it might be creating a habit that you will have trouble breaking, or it might not. I guess you need to weigh up what is going to work for you, and how much of a problem it will be if DS is not able to self-settle later. Unfortunately there is usually no easy answer!!

:

---

Jesse sounds just like anneliese, she's really started talking to herself lately, ad as im walking past her room to put the boys to bed, i can hear her chatting to herself...

---

Haha i can hear Jesse in there now talking his head off. The top of his head faces the window and he tries to turn his head around to see the light through the closed blinds and is just babbling away. :lol:

If you're worried about it becoming a problem later, have you tried settling him and just before he's asleep, then putting him in the cot? That way he's almost asleep, but in his cot, and he might just go back to sleep. Also, during the day does he sleep in his cot all the time or various places? I used to have Nina in her bouncer and she'd only sleep there during the day, I had to change that so she'd sleep in her cot, which took about a week to do, but it works now.
I personally don't see rocking/patting/feeding them to sleep a problem. I will occassionally have to do it with Nina if she's overtired.

I htink if you dont see it as a problem them it wont become one, itis about what you feel comfortable with. I always used to rock Tori to sleep andthen go and put he down in her cot, and one day she just decided that she didnt like being rocked to sleep anymore and now only goes to sleep in her cot or pram, she hates being rocked to sleep now, she throws her head around and spits her dummy out untill we put her down to sleep.

I used to let Lucy fall asleep on me cuddling if she didn't fall asleep bf at that age. I still cuddle her to sleep now and see no problem with it, she resettles herself fine if she wakes up during the night and doesn't wake up when I transfer her to the cot. She will sleep when put in her cot awake when my gf looks after her, so I guess she's not dependant on me (it's probably me who needs the cuddle more than her!). I don't think we've created any long-term problems by doing this.

I have also let her sleep with us when she wakes up with the birds to feed or has a really bad night. Doesn't seem to stop her going back to normal when she's feeling better or it's a different time of the night/morning.

it depends on your personal parenting philosophies.
I like the AP/gentle approach of giving your baby what it needs, or medically backed up evidnce/research - not just what i think is the most convienient to me:P
would you let him cry to sleep? is that how your MIL gets him to sleep?? do you both have similar ideas?

personally, i feed to sleep, bree is now 20 months and i am happy to still do so, but i know she can go to sleep without it if she had too, but i'd expect my mum to rock her to sleep if she needed it and not let her cry:)

I put Anneliese to bed to put herself to sleep, but when its just me and her at night i rock her to sleep. Most of the time i just dont have the time... Thats a rare luxury around here! Since she's my last child i'd love to be doing that every sleep!!

I used controlled crying on the boys, and they go to sleep now without a prob, always have. It did them no harm....

http://www.bawlingbabies.blogspot.com/
http://bawlingbabies.blogspot.com/20...s-doctors.html
yes it can do lifelong harm....fyi...:)

:

---

Dr Commons and Dr Miller quoted by Alvin Powell;
America's "let them cry" attitude toward children may lead to more fears and tears among adults, according to two Harvard Medical School researchers.
Instead of letting infants cry, American parents should keep their babies close, console them when they cry, ..according to Michael Commons and Patrice Miller, researchers at the Medical School's Department of Psychiatry. The pair examined child-rearing practices here and in other cultures and say the widespread American practice of putting babies in separate beds - even separate rooms - and not responding to their cries may lead to more incidents of post-traumatic stress and panic disorders among American adults. The early stress due to separation causes changes in infant brains that makes future adults more susceptible to stress in their lives, say Commons and Miller. "Parents should recognize that having their babies cry unnecessarily harms the baby permanently," Commons said. "It changes the nervous system so they're sensitive to future trauma."
Harvard Researchers Say Children Need Touching and Att

---

thanks guys. it is working great. and he can sort of settle himself when i put him in to his cot more or less asleep.. when MIL looks after him, she just props in his dummy and he goes straight to sleep for her, hmmm but this does not work for me.. i am yet to get DH to put him to bed at night. but want to try this. friends think i am crazy doing this.. also sometimes if he is over tired and very restless will give a little boob to settle.. have no idea what will happen when i stop B/F, as i find he loves the boob for comfort more then a dummy if needed....