feeding/rocking to sleep

Hi

DS is 14weeks.. as i cannot put him in hit cot awake, i know he screams, and i pck him up, i cant handle to listen to the cry and DS knows that if he cries we will pick him up. once we walk into his room he stops as he kows that he will be cuddleed

The only way i can get him to sleep, is generally rock him til he is more or less asleep, then gently place in cot, or feed to sleep which works a treat.. night feeds during the night arent a prob, he seems to settle easily, its just the day time sleep, and the one right before sleep which are the hardest.

He is very fussy witha dummy and is BF , but i do give the odd bottle of formula

Family are saying the longer i rock and feed to sleep the harder it will be too leave him witha babysitter etc as he wont go to bed for anyone else, and they say i should do controlled crying( i am not after advice though on this post re this)

I just wish i could put bubs in the cot and he would sleep without having to rock him to sleep etc..

any ideas...would be sooooo APPRECIATED>

Hi Maggie,
I've also posted to this in the other section. I found some names of books that might help: "the no cry sleep solution" someone posted about this book in this forum so maybe borrow from a library and check it out and also Pinky McKays book, "Sleeping like a baby" offers a 4 week plan to wean baby off the breast for sleep to using other sleep cues but she does say not to use in babies under 4 months. Just remember if you are happy at the moment go with the flow.
This whole debate came up with my in-laws last night, I ended up in tears cause they pretty much attacked me for the way I parent, they basically told me I have to leave her to cry and not let her run the place etc etc. I have no prob letting Ash fall asleep on the breast or rock her to sleep so I don't understand why its a prob to them.

thanks guys, it is so hard, all you want is your little one to sleep so easily. some days i feel that all i am doing is settling him off to sleep, and he may only sleep one cycle.. all i can pray for is that it will get better as he gets older.. (hopeful anyhow!!!)

maggie, have you thought about using a sling so he can sleep while you are doing things. i find that oscar, when that age, slept for hours in the sling but if i was to put him down he would wake. all 3 of my boys slept in a sling or with me and i don't even own a cot, do what suits you but my eldest boys certainly sleep through the night now and i can't even remember all the sleep traumas i had with them. remember in a blink of an eye they are grown up.
beckles

maggie, as beckles has said, try a sling like the Hug-A-Bub - much better than Baby Bjorn, other things I can think of are hammocks and also do you wrap him? Thats fantastic that he's sleeping at night - well done! :)

thanks guys,,

Maggie, the opther girls have come up with all teh suggestions I would make.

I have fed/cuddled/patted/rocked my 3 to sleep since birth, in a variety of different fashions......they all responded differently to different methods! (I always simply go along with whatever works at the time!)

Olivia is now nearly 3, and for the first 4 months of her life, unless she was on me(either being boob fed or in a sling) she was screaming, and she would only sleep on me through the day, or in the car. I walked/patted/drove her to sleep all the time. When she hit 4 months, she just changed and would happily lie on the play mat on the ground without screaming and happily get popped into bed (a hammock) after a feed, awake, and drop off without a sound. I have no idea what changed, LOL, it just did! She pretty much straight away slept through the night from this point, from 7pm to 7am without a peep. Amazing. In hindsight I am really glad I continued to go with my instinct of patting/rocking/walking/feeding through the first 4 months, as it seems to me she then "matured" & still felt very secure?

Charlie was a different kettle of fish all together, and from day one in hospital I tried to cuddle/feed him to sleep, but he would wriggle and cry and arch his back, but the minute I wrapped him and put him down in his bed (stroller/hammock/cot) he would immediately snuggle down and, without a peep, drop off! He is now 18 months and whilst I WISH he would let me cuddle him to sleep, he won't have a bar of it......but he is asleep within moments of being put in his cot! Same as Olivia, he started sleeping through without a peep at 4 months.

Lexie is a combination of both. Some days she just drops off after a feed in my arms and then I transfer her to her hammock, other days she needs a whole load of patting and rocking to drop off, and other days I find she has put herself to sleep in the rocker without a peep......she is now 3 months, and we shall see how she develops!

The reason I have given my 3 as examples is that with all 3 of them, you can see how different they are, I had to adapt my style to meet their needs and match their little personalities. But whatever I did with Olivia and Charlie seemed to work OK for them, and it didn't create any "bad habits" as they now both sleep well (12 hours a night with approx 2.5 hour day sleep as well) without any help from me......no tears at sleep time, ever, and they are happy to toddle off for rest time and bedtime. (Fingers crossed Lexie will develop in the same fashion!).

All 3 of my babes have been a hammock from birth (Olivia till 11 months, Charlie till 10 months) and that has been a godsend for me and them, I think. I am pretty convinced it has been the one thing that has made them into happy good sleepers, regardless of everything else, so it maybe worth a shot?

Hope all that helps, I have rambled a bit!

Lucy, what brand of hammock do you have?

We have the Amby Natures Nest. I got it directly from them, online. (You can Google it). I found their service fantastic and our hammock is now on its 3rd baby and still going strong.........I am a huge fan......

Thanks for the quick response, Lucy! I've been looking at the Amby Hammocks, and really like them.

Would you recommend also getting the snuggler insert as well (to stop the little ones rolling about) or do you think that's going over the top?

Cheers
Rollergirl

I didn't get one, and found I didn't need one. Olivia was born in Darwin, so, because of the heat, I wanted to minimise anything in her bed making it any hotter, so that is why we didn't bother.......little newborns rarely move about (or at least mine don't!). With Charlie, he was a winter baby and loved being wrapped tightly, so he definately didn't need the insert. And Lexie (who is blissfully sleeping in the hammock right now!) is wrapped lightly, but it doesn't look like she needs one at all: she sleeps really deeply, and doesn't move around at all.

If you do want to get an optional extra, I would recommend the mossie net (not sure where you live?) We have it, and it means I can put Lexie in the hammock outside in the shade but she is totally protected from bugs, when we are all in the garden or in the pool or whatever......

As I said above, I am a real fan of the Amby Hammock.......both Olivia and Charlie are fantastic sleepers, and Lexie is shaping up to be the same, and that in itself means I have more patience and energy to be a better Mummy for them! I credit the hammock for their love of sleep!