booby and co-sleep overnight

my 5 month old DD has slept in my bed with me from about 2 months of age (the only way we could both get some sleep). at first i didnt think this was the right thing to do and struggled with the idea of it, but now i have grown to like it. i told this to my GP the other day and she immediatly said ' well you should get her out of this habit as fast as you can or you will end up with a 5 year old in your bed'. it annoyed me because i had just come to like and appreciate the closeness that we have during the night, and then the GP brought all my previous concerns back as i don't want her to sleep with us forever!

anyway, how and when do you get your baby to sleep out of your bed? i am nervous to attempt it because from past experience i know she snaps wide awake as soon as or 30minutes after i put her into her cot (which is in our room.) also she is still stirring frequently overnight, but not fully waking up (sometimes hourly) to suck on my boob for only a few minutes (which i think is for comfort only). she has a dummy but only my boob will suffice overnight. so i don't think she will sleep by herself anyway due to lack of boob.

i don't know what to do or where or when to begin to get her to sleep by herself! sometimes she will wake up or stirr when i move next to her in my sleep so i am thinking that maybe it is time to get her on her own?

I think if you are still happy to co-sleep and it's not disturbing your sleep then it's not a problem. We co-slept with Kynan a lot when he was younger, especially when he'd go through a rough patch with his sleep. Generally we brought him into bed with us if he woke and couldn't go back to sleep in his cot. And yes, when we co-slept he would nuzzle up to the boobies a lot too LOL (he never took to a dummy & does all of his comfort sucking on the boob or uses his thumb). Gradually as he's gotten older he hasn't needed to co-sleep anywhere near as much, hardly ever actually, usually only when he's teething/sick.

Silly GP! What's so bad about having a 5 year old in your bed anyway? If my babies still want to come into my bed when they're 5 I'd be fine with that. If they're still there when they're 15 I might be a bit worried lol.
IMO the right time for your baby to move out of your bed is when you want her to not when your GP wants her to. Your GP doesn't have to wake up in the night to settle your baby,.
If you do want a change there is something that is in one of Pinky McKay's books that has stuck with me. If you want to change your sleeping situation without stress and tears do it gently and with love.
Maybe you could start with putting DD in her cot at the beginning of the night and then bringing her into bed later. I've noticed that lots of parents co-sleep from 2am or 3am onwards. You could start trying to settle her in the night by stroking her not boobing her so that if she is in her cot you can stroke her to re-settle.

Tehya is still co sleeping and boobing overnight. Have I done this myself, probably, do I care that much about it, no!!

My GP tells me the opposite to yours Hollo, so maybe you need to see her. She tells me do whatever you need to do to get sleep.

Tehya starts off the night in her cot but can not be put down awake. She is usually boobed to sleep or atleast until she is very sleepy, then she will lay herself down on the lounge, butt in the air, toss around for 5 or 10 minutes then crash out. Once she is asleep I transfer her. She joins us in bed when she wakes overnight. And usually the only way I can get her back to sleep is by giving her booby, she asks for it anyway.

If you are happy to do what you are doing then continue. Otherwise Dach gave you some great advise on trying to settle her in the cot first off. You will probably have more luck getting a 5 month old to do this than I have of a 21 month old.

If you feel the need to change you could start off slowly by putting the cot beside your bed with the side off (sidecar) so that you can gently move your DD across when she has finished a feed. I have just started doing this with my 18 month old, mostly to give all of us a bit more space and to slowly transition her to sleeping on her own. If this takes 6 months, I don't care along as it does not stress her. At the moment she seems to be enjoying it.

thanks for your replies. i really like the ideas about starting her off in her cot but i am a bit scared to try it because i know from past experience that she will basically wake straight back up and then i will have to rock her to sleep again for another 20 minutes!!! (just when i get sleepy too) i guess i will have to bite the bullet and try it, she might surprise me.

i would like to put the cot next to our bed as well as astrid suggested but we have a wooden frame which means the cot doesnt sit flush up against the mattress but causes a space which could be pretty dangerous.

it is a bit disappointing that the GP said this as i was just beginning to think i had found a good one. she was supportive of me when in the early months when DD suffered from reflux and this was the only way to get her to sleep soundly, but now that i said I LIKE it then it is a problem?? wierd!

For the gap there a couple of things you can. First place a folded sheet under the mattress of your bed, leave half hanging out. Push the cot up against your bed, then place the rest of the sheet under the cot mattress. This should help hold the beds together and gives you somewhere to stuff and not have it fall out. Depending on the gap size you could cut some foam to size. Good luck

well i started her off in her cot last night and she woke up after 20 minutes!! i didn't bother trying to settle her in the cot cause i know that she would wake right up and want to play for another hour before bed, so i just picked her up and settled her in my arms and put her back in bed with us. i might try it again if she doesnt sleep for at least an hour on her own i think i will give up.

Persistance is the key hun. Make sure you continue to try it out during the day time too. Does she sleep in her own bed during the day ??

The 20 minute wake up is just her waking up after her sleep cycle. At her age the cycle is only about 20 to 40 minutes. Actually from memory close to 40 minutes. Does she go down to the cot awake ?? If she is already asleep and has been for abit of time then her sleep cycle could already be up. I had huge problems with trying to get Tehya to sleep through her sleep cycle. We ended up at sleep school. Obviously she didn't get much better but atleast now I know what I am talking about. LOL.

When she wakes up try not to pick her up, rather keep the room dark and try to resettle her, just patting her gently on the back until she starts to drift off. Now at sleep school we were told not to do it til they fall asleep because then when they awake again they can't put themselves back to sleep. Rather to just resettle them enough to be relaxed and then leave them to it again. That part is totally up to you. Well, it all is of course :)

Goodluck. Just thought I'd give you a few ideas. Do with them what you please :)

Oh I'm not the only one. I cosleep with my daughter ever since she had bronchiolitis at 6mths, she was also premmie. My GP says do what you need to get to sleep. I think I will try putting her cot right up to our mattrice as well (after I take the yet to be done ironing out of it, it is a handy closet at the moment.

my babys sleep with us until they ask to go into their own bed, sometimes a mattress on the floor sometimes in their own room, i think they were about 3, although we still have a mattress under our bed if they are scared and want to sleep in our room. oscar still sleeps with us. we don't see it as anything wrong with it, in fact, it is quite normal in our community. perhaps change GP's, one who has done some research and knows that kids that sleep with their parents are much happier and healthier emotionally. it works for the majority of communities and it's only really western society that frowns on it. if you're happy keep it up.
beckles