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Feeling so guilty being pregnnt - in terms of my other two little girls. do i have enuf love for another one? (an unplanned one). I feel like im taking yet another part of me away from them for this baby. Im really emotional at the moment, i only found out yesterday that im pregnant (after being on mini pill and b/f. #3 is a bit of a shock to us both........
Will these feelings go away?
Hi Mbear,
I think it's natural to feel that way - but of course you will have enough love to spread around! It will just be a matter of finding time with the new baby to make sure you show your little girls how much you love them :)
Don't worry these feelings will go away! In a way it's just time management! lol
xoxox
nat
One of the wonderful things about children is that they all have different personalities, even if they are similar, there is still something that makes them individual, and this is what makes me love all my children the same - because I love the different qualities that each of them have kwim? I know it is probably a shock to you and it is probably a big part of why you think you won't be able to fully love all your children, cause you weren't expecting to have to share yourself with another. But as your girls grow and change, you will find new things to love about them too, the things they do and say and their little 'isms' that make them like no one else.
This probably sounds a bit airy-fairy, but I do think that what your feeling is natural and in time, you may feel differently about all of it when you have had a chance to get used to the idea.
A mum will always love their children no matter what. ATM its a shock to u...but once it hits home you will be overjoyed im sure. Goodluck with the pregnancy....
I was beginning to think i was the worlds worst mother !! i do remember feeling this when i fell prg with #2 - that feeling of guilt to the child you already have. thanks for your kind words, sherie, especially your post. I didnt think i could love another little person as much as i love my two girls......its so surreal at the moment.....
As a mum of three and the 3rd being half planned and half not, I was in a very similar situation. As soon as you see your little prince or princess on that monitor at a scan your heart will melt and you will love all 3 of your children with a great passion. My 2 oldest don't seem to be missing out at all and most of the time quite happily play with each other while I attend to Ashtons needs. They also love to get things for Ashton if I need them
Love
Give yourself a break. Of course you will have enough love for them all, But you have only just found out, you need to get used to the idea too
I honestly have never felt this but have heard other friends actually choose to have 1 child as they cannot fathom loving another like they do their first (I always thought that to be odd)..
I can tell you with #3 on the way I am already eager to have a 4th, because I know that love grows, you dont strat off with a kilo of love & then once you''ve used it it runs out!!!
I promise & gurarantee to you, wou will be fine, ATM, I have a fairly intense job, I get maddy off to school & Indah off to FDC all my 7:30am, I walk into work around 8ish & walk back in at 5ish, how the heck will I do it with a newborn as well... I dont know & TBH I dont care they will come first & they will all be adored & looked after, everything else... PPPPPFFFTTT
I will worry about it when I get sacked maybe for always being late!!
LOL.
I think you'll be fine you coped ferom 1-2 & will again with 2-3!!! YAY Congrat's by the way!!!!
The fact that you are worried shows that you have enough love to go around.
I agree, the fact that your worried shows you care, I've got three girls and I'm pregnant now with my fourth and I believe you adjust as you have each child, you won't love one child less then the other. Each child is unique. Your a mum :D you'll find the love and the room for as many children you have, I hope you have a great pregnancy, take care :)
My sister is going through something similar atm with her second. Her daughter just turned 1, and, although #2 was planned, she feels increadibly guilty. I think it is a normal reaction, planned or not. My other sister has 5 beautiful boys, and has enough love for them all. You will too, good luck!
Hi Mbear - I felt like that with number 2, and am feeling it again with number 3. Is our life going to change so much that my girls are going to feel left out. Will having to get up through the night to a new baby turn me into the cranky mother that I so don't want to be? I do know though that it will all be fine. I've got plenty of love to give and I know my girls are going to adore having a little bub to cuddle and play with.
Just think, in a few years time you will look back and wonder what you were worried about. It will all be ok.
thanks jazmum, your right, sophie (my #2) 1st birthday soon, and time has just flown, in a few years time i will be dropping them all off at school LOL....thanks for your advice
X