some infertility sniglets

Sniglets are funny made-up words/definitions for those things in life that just don't seem to have any "official" terminology. The world of infertility provides lots of hilarious inspiration.

Coinus interruptus – the impact of infertility treatments on one's pocketbook.

Mucusology – the inexact science of attempting to determine the timing of ovulation.

Sizzlers – men's bikini underwear

Freeballing – the step beyond boxers taken by truly devoted husbands with low sperm count.

Briefectomy – furtive removal of all tight-fitting briefs from your husband's underwear drawer.

Rigorous mortis – loss of interest in sex due to lack of spontaneity in timing.

Get shorty – mission of women married to men afflicted by rigorous mortis.

Transfurryence – treating your pets like human babies.

Furrtility – when your cat gets pregnant.

Hindsight – looking back to see what is happening as you get your shot!

Punjab – cracking jokes to take your wife's mind off the fact that you are about to give her a shot.

Pokejoy – the imagined glee wives think that husbands get from sticking them in the butt with a needle.

Darts – the art of throwing a lethal weapon in the general direction of your darling wife's rear end with your eyes half closed from sleep and hoping that you hit the bull's (or should I say cow's?) eye.

Lubiscus – embarassingly goopy wet feeling after an uncomfortably intimate examination or procedure.

Day-one-dering – wondering why, oh why, you have to deal with "day one", yet again!

Preconception – the insane belief that you will get pregnant before you have to do IVF.

Preconceived notion – the idea (before trying to get pregnant) that one will get pregnant within a month or two, three at the most.

Hormonophobia – dread fear of saying the wrong thing to your wife when she is on fertility drugs.

Written by Rebecca Smith Waddell and Lisa A. Kramer of FertilityPlus.org. This text is reproduced with permission. Copyright © 1996, 1997, 1998 by Rebecca Smith Waddell and Lisa A. Kramer
All rights reserved. The text from this page may be distributed as long as copyright is attached and the use is not for profit.

A few more
Preggozone – the magnetic area around all infertile women that draws expectant mothers into close viewing range; the first day of any cycle has the greatest magnetic field, closely followed by any day on which an infertile womans fails a pregnancy test.

Laparophobia – in intense sense of dread preceding laparoscopy, marked by last-ditch efforts to get pregnant and avoid having the procedure (like you weren't already trying your hardest).

Reverse Pharmacology – taking Birth Control Pills in the month before your IVF.

Totsicles – frozen embryos waiting to be transferred.

Multiple Dwarf Syndrome – a state caused by the ups and downs of fertility treatments, characterized by describing oneself as some combination of grumpy, sleepy, dopey, bashful, etc; especially effective descriptor if you include what we like to call the "alternative dwarves," such as horny, *****y, barfy, crampy, etc.

Prince Charming (or Hubble without a Choice) – the name for a sweet husband who is infinitely patient and kind while you have Multiple Dwarf Syndrome.

Snow White Complex – the mental state following your careful examination of white undies and panty liners for indications of mucus or menstrual flow; any hint of red on white or confusing mucus signs gives you the absolute right to take on any or all of the emotions in the Multiple Dwarf Syndrome.

Clomidfiend – A woman under the influence of Clomid-induced mood swings; someone who wants to blame anything and everything on the drug.

ClomiWITCH – a woman under the influence of clomid. She can becoime the WICKED WITCH OF THE WEST!!!!! Also Clomi*****.

Clomidbuddy – the invisible but very useful "nobody" who is TRULY responsible for all the awful things mistakenly attributed to a woman on Clomid. ("It wasn't ME who smashed those dishes onto the floor in Clomid-induced anger ... It was the Clomidbuddy.")

Perganol-tory – the two-week, in-between waiting time.

Laying the PIPE DREAMS – the vain hope that if you just relax and enjoy the ride, you might actually get pregnant.

Wining and complaining – drinking LOTS of red wine while whining about another negative pregnancy test.

Cruisin' for a bruisin' – driving one hour each way in rush-hour traffic to have blood drawn by a technician who's blind in one eye and has arthritis in both hands.

Hormonally Challenged – the politically correct term for a woman who is having mood swings due to infertility treatment.

Pregnition – the act of starting on fertility treatment.

Written by Rebecca Smith Waddell and Lisa A. Kramer of FertilityPlus.org. This text is reproduced with permission. Copyright © 1996, 1997, 1998 by Rebecca Smith Waddell and Lisa A. Kramer
All rights reserved. The text from this page may be distributed as long as copyright is attached and the use is not for profit.

Presently, I have terminal transfurryence and will soon be dabbling in reverse pharmacology.

Poor Pusster - he carries a burden no four legged creature should have to bear ... smother love!

These are great Trish! Had DH in stitches.... :smt043


Keen

Hillarious.. :-)

OMG Trish wat an interesting list of things we suffer from at different times. =D>

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#-o Just wondering about the monthly threads you and others have mentioned before how and what do they work? In other words HELP.

:D

Chele
hi there
click on Long Term TTC, Infertility & IVF Discussion at either top or bottom of screen -when main screen opens then usually the second item down is

Sticky: Long Term TTC, Infertility & IVF - May 2005 #6[ Goto page: 1 ... 5, 6, 7 ]
click on whatever page number you want to read

to add your details read page 1 and cut and paste
add your post and presto you have joined us
best of luck and look forward to seeing you

Hormotional - easily rattled emotional state brought on by hormone surges; especially symptomatic of women on fertility drugs.

this is what the nurse warned my husband I would be ... now was he listening ?