things to do while pregnant???

hi everyone,

just a question i hope hasn't been covered before... can anyone suggest things to do whilst being pregnant?? this is mine and DH's first baby. we got married in sepember '04 and it's all happening pretty quickly.. it feels like one minute we're out most weekends, hanging out at the local pub, club, karaoke or nightclub.. and the next minute we're sooo settled down and 'grown up'.

of course all our friends are still doing the thing we used to do and we can't expect them to change just because we have. the boys still call DH up on the weekends to go drinking and partying, and i just flat out can't go. seeing that it's my first pregnancy, every little thing worries me and if i can help it, i won't put bubs at any risk of anything going wrong. i can sit there and not drink but these guys don't even have the courtesy to move away a little when they're having a smoke.

which kinda leaves poor DH in the middle cause he feels like he needs to be with me and spend time with me but i also know that he craves to just go out and chill out with his friends. he works hard and is very stressed at work so i know he deserves to just let loose and go.

i don't know where i'm heading with this... last night (saturday night!) we were home watching a movie and he fell asleep around 10pm. his friends started calling around 10.30pm and he just let it ring out so they kept calling back again and again til 11.30pm. i woke DH up and asked him if he'd like to go, i'd even go with him if he wanted... but he said no and went back to sleep. after the movie finished i couldn't sleep so i read his phone msgs and he'd already organised with his mates to go out that evening!

i feel a bit torn here... cause i want him to go out and enjoy himself but i also want him to know that it's not just my pregnancy and my baby. that i'm not not going just to be difficult but i'm looking out for another person here... our baby!

anyway, my original question before i blabbed on was... can anyone suggest other things to do whilst they're pregnant that doesn't involve drinking your head off and smoking all the clean air away? dinner is good.. going to the movies are good.. but we've kind've exhausted those options now.

and just a small question on the side... am i being selfish?

Dana, no, I don't think you are being selfish!

It is tricky when you are the first of your friends to be pregnant, or if you have a lot of drinking/smoking/partying friends.

For DH and I, we compromised an awful lot.........he would often go out with work/blokey mates on a Friday night and I wold stay home and chill with a DVD (I am lucky that I love a night in to myself!). I'd be cool with whatever time he rolled in, & that way I could reasonably expect that the rest of the weekend would be time for us alone, to do movies, dinner, walks, swims etc.

We breakfasted out a lot when I was pg with Olivia which was great.....and did a lot of simple things in the day when I wasn't so tired.

We also probably mixed a lot more with couples that had kids or at least appreciated what it was like to be pg......& had dinners at home with them and played board games......(soudns really corny, but a lot of fun).

HTH............

We were the first in our circle of friends to have a baby so I know how tough it can be & I definately don't think you're being selfish at all.

We were the same as Lucy & her DH, Aaron would go out on Friday nights & I'd spend the night with my family, then we'd spend the weekend together.

We had alot of people over as well, that way, they had to smoke outside not near me & I still go to socialise. We even had a NYE party last year, which was great. The other good thing about being at home is you can go to bed when you get tired & no-one minds!

We had movie nights as well, inviting people over to watch movies with us.

Hi Dana,
A good idea for your man is to organise a night out with his friends every fortnight or three weeks. It might not seem alot if you guys used to be out all the time, but the fact is, once bub is born, he'll be going out even less. May as well ween him out of it!! Also if it's planned, you can prepare something to do (even if it's just dvd or catch up with girlfriends) and he won't feel guilty and neither will you.
Another idea is to meet friends for a barbie in the day, or have people to your house in the day . There's nothing worse than people partying on when you're so tired at night.
It is a totally different life to the partying lifestyle. With DD, I got pregnant in UK which is where I was for 2 years pretty much to party. So I came back to a different world, I couldn't party at all and it took time to adjust. I found that doing things with my mum actually helped, and going with her to family friends. That way I was around older people (my friends were all still partying). This time around we are older (ok 31 is not soooo old, but we can't stay up past 8.30pm, it's ridiculous)!! But we do alot of family things. Lunch and dinner at my mums, sisters or inlaws. It's really nice, and they love talking about the baby which is great (friends are never as excited as you about your baby)!!!
We also go to the beach for walks, watch lots of dvd's, have naps (!!!) and go out when we can afford it to breakfast/lunch/dinner. We are loving it, we get to spend quality time together and talk about baby.
Good luck and enjoy your pregnancy! xoxo

hi girls and thanks for your replies,

i felt a bit better after reading all your suggestions on things we could do. the funny thing is, i don't mind a quiet friday night to myself with a good dvd either. actually, i did stay home with a dvd on friday and even though we live with his parents, i didn't mind one bit because i assumed we'd have saturday night to spend together. but he'd made plans for that night as well!

but anyway... i don't want to bad mouth my DH.. cause he really is a great guy and has been wonderful and supportive (just not most weekends) throughout the pregnancy. and i know it's not his fault that the boys don't care if i'm healthy or not. i just feel like he should make more of an effort.. but he'd rather just do his thing with the boys... and when it comes to time spent with me... oh we'll just stay home with a dvd.. and then on sunday, DH's brother has been renovating his house for the past 5 months so there goes our sundays too

i told him i'd go nuts if i have to spend the next 6 months at home.. plus during the time bubs is too fragile to be taken outside. all your suggestions seem like such easy solutions, why didn't i think of them? thank you girls.. you have certainly helped shed light on this subject

:hug:

Dana, I wouldn't worry about bub being too fragile to take outside - Zander was at a birthday party/BBQ at just 5 days old!! IKWYM about staying at home all the time, it does get very boring.

Yep, agree with Sarah that hopefully your newborn will be fine with the big wide world! Olivia was out walking with us in tropical heat at 7 days old, on the beach in Darwin; as was as being dragged round crocodile farms and national parks when she was only 3 weeks old......no probs!

(I was terrifed at first, but as soon as I allowed myself to let us get out and about to do things, the better we all felt, and the more confident I was about it all!)

It's standard in Iceland for babies to spend at least an hour a day sleeping outside in the fresh air - trust me, babies don't break if you expose them to the outside world. I've known a number of people who carry babies around with them to parties/BBQ's/etc at other ppl's houses and the bubs just go to sleep with the music and conversation pounding around them.
Remember, if you train your child to only sleep when there is quiet and peace around, then that is what you are stuck with! Your social life doesn't have to end because you are having a baby, it has just moved into another phase. Make sure you get out and spend some quality time with girlfriends, even if it's only windowshopping and such, because YOU need the external stimulation and recreation as much as your husband does!

Good luck, and don't sweat the small stuff.

Kerrie

I agree with the others on newborns!! Jenna was at the netball and footy games at 5days old!! At 3 weeks old she would sleep in the arms of anyone at the netball, which left me free to coach the game and watch the others play!!
As for stuff while you are pregnant - unless you have a medical condition which restricts it, there is nothing to stop you getting out and about now too!! Why stay at home by yourself on a Friday or Saturday night if he is going out?? Make sure you are getting plenty of stimulation from others too - otherwise you might go mad!! Join a club, go to shows, make a quilt or start scrapping?? Anything to make sure you have a life too.
As for hubby - well its a bit of an adjustment for us all, it may take some time but he'll get there in the end.
Best wishes,
Fi

Okay I know it sounds daggy but while you are PG how about barefoot bowls? We have a club near here & everyone is 20-30 years and have a ball... DH & I visited once during PG and thought it was an activity we could do together to have fun & get out of the house together...

I agree with Christy, bowls is so much fun.

Or if your nails are up for it, 10-pin bowling? I love 10-pin!

The only thing to be careful of with bowls is to make sure that you brace your core muscles properly so as not to put any more strain on your lower back. If you can do it without pain, enjoy!

Kerrie

Hi Dana

why don't you get the girls together while hubby is out and have a fondu and movie night together?

Or perhaps go out with your GF's to dinner or to movies or perhaps a day/night spa and pamper yourselves. Thats gotta be better than getting drunk at the pub and then hubby can have his fun too. Then the next day you and hubby can go out for dinner (even if he has other plans he can still go out for dinner with you a bit earlier)




Hope this helps :D