Post Natal Depression after Miscarriage?

Does anyone know if there is such a thing as post natal depression after miscarriage. I mean I know it's natural to feel grief and sadness but I am two weeks post miscarriage and feel my brain is playing tricks on me....crying everyday for at least a few hours. Also it seems my tears are no longer over the loss but other things like feeling like a failure generally, thinking my marriage is doomed and my friends don't care about me. It's completely irrational and I'm fully aware of that however these thoughts are overwhelming.

I have had other factors such as the loss of a precious pet and job demotion in the last few weeks which are adding to the stress.

My GP is suggested anti-depressants however I have tried to resist going there as I want to try and conceive again soon. I have been on them previously but came off them to conceive this last pregnancy which miscarried. I'm nervous about the effects on any potential fetus - GP says don't worry but obs/gynae says don't go there!

Life is just a struggle...will it pass or is there something chemical going on in my brain.:cry:

:crying: I am so srry fr your loss. I don't think it is called post natal depression but the chemical changes in your brain would definitely be similar and with all the other circumstances it definitely sounds like clinical depression. There are other options out there if you don't want to go the medication route. Talking to a councellor, meditation, writing your thoughts down ( keeping a journal), certain naturopathic remedies and many other ways you can probably find out about searching on the web or talk to your local womans health clinic. Good luck and remember people to care.

Penny

Oh Sophia

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I think what you are feeling is natural and normal. When I lost my baby I litterally couldn't function and honestly thought that I was losing my mind. Just remember it has only been two weeks so don't feel like you have to be better already. I think that medication does have a place but as a last resort, not a first resort. I agree with Penny about seeing a cousellor first. This is not something that you should have to deal with yourself.

I hope that you begin to feel better and that you get the help you need :hugs:

Luv
Spring

What you are going through is perfectly normal, but please do see about it. It could even be a form of Post Traumatic Stress. But whatever it is, the sooner dealt with, the best mended.

Don't be frightened of medication if that is what is required. I am on anti-depressant medication as well as mood stabilising medication and whilst there are risks, the risks are (for me anyway) no higher than those which are caused by my age and genetics.

Lisa

Sophia, grief is like that for some people and your loss is still so recent, you need time to come to terms with it and the other losses you have had.

If you don't want to use antidepressants, can I urge you to seek counselling instead? Find one who is experienced in helping people like yourself with similar infant losses as that may be beneficial. Perhaps some support groups might be able to help too.

Don't get me wrong ... antidepressants definitely have their place and they can help with the chemical causes of depression but I also think counselling is important too. Sometimes people use both and find that that helps them. Have another chat to your doctor and see if they have any suggestions.

Thanks to everyone for their replies again.

Yes, I am seeing a counsellor although one hour session a week doesn't seem to make much impact (except on the wallet at $160 a session but get some back on medicare) I'm afraid.

I agree I think i need to just let time elapse to heal from this. Don't you wish you could just fast forward a few months? It doesn't help that my cycle after the D and C is all over the shop - i'm still bleeding after 2 weeks and don't know if it's af or something else - both Drs don't seem concerned....

Also, has anyone else experienced the "over it" husband who just wants things back to normal? I'm having to go out in to the backyard to cry with the pets as he has had enough of it all. He thinks there should be some sort of immediate solution (I work in the healthcare field and know that the "solutions" to an upset, depressed wife are a) sit it out b) admission to psych ward. There isn't a magic solution to all of this.

Anyway, thank god for the little furry ones - they seem to understand the best!

All the best to others recovering.

Sophia, my heart really goes out to you. I had a loss at 12 weeks & 6 months later it can still really get to me. It is hard for those who have not experienced a m/c to understand but I'm sure your family & friends are there for you & doing their best to support you. As for your DH - men are soooo different in how they deal with things. They deal with things & move on plus they don't have those maternal instincts that us women have. We are the one's who had bubs growing inside of us & for us the bond is immediate. Things will get better you must just give yourself time. Concentrate on you for now & hopefully af etc with sort themselves out soon. Good luck for your new TTC journey & know that there are many ladies here who can offer support & advice any time you need it. All the best!

Sophia, your DH is exhibiting quite "normal" DH type behaviour. Men, even the most supportive aren't actually the ones who go through it. In many cases when we miscarry, it is even before there is time for the baby to become "real" to them because in all honesty, they really do only have our word for the fact that it was there. They aren't the ones who dealt with the symptoms and they aren't the ones who feel the devastation when it all comes crashing down around you.

My DH is typical of that. He has never been one to "tolerate" tears or shows of emotion. He doesn't "do" sympathy. Even with my bipolar, he is still one of the "take a Bex and have a good lie down" crew. To him, once something is done, you just have to get over it and move on. But I have been with him now for so long, that I know what he is like and have stopped trying to force him to act how *I* think he should act, or expecting something from him that I know he simply isn't capable of giving.

That's why I turn to the supportive girls here, or my psychiatrist or psychologist or even just my fabulous GP for the nurturing stuff and constructive advice and support.

Incidentally, check into the organisation SANDS and even a Pregnancy Support Service or Centacare, Anglicare or your local public hospital. All should offer counselling for free, or at worst a nominal cost.

Good luck. Many of us here know exactly what you are going through, so don't ever be afraid to come here and vent or just ask for an ear.

Lisa

Sophia,

What your are feeling is very normal. Remeber that is has only been two weeks, although I am sure that it feels longer. Slowly, day by day it does get easier. I had a miscariage at 9 weeks in early November, and I am still grieving, but realising that it will take time and it is different for everyone is what keeps me going.

As for DH, mine was exactly the same. My DH works away for 2 months at a time O/S on a barge in the middle of the ocean, with the only contact being through email. He was away when we found out that I was pregnant and I had to tell him via email that I had M/C as well. He came home ASAP, but was it was never real for him he found it hard to relate to me and what I was experiencing. He could not understand why I was still crying, did not want to go out, did not want to go back to work. His background is science and he said that he knows that it is imperfect science and there was a chance we could lose it. For us women it is different, we bond with this baby of ours from the minute that we see those two lines, we plan thier future, get excited to buy those maternity clothes and plan the next 9 months of our lives, only to have it taken away so soon.

Take care of ourself, and remeber that all these lovely women can relate to what you are going through and help you through these trying times.

Tracey :hug:

Hi Sophia

After 3 m/c I know where you are coming from, may not be called Post natal depression but it must be close. I started writing in a journal and it helped immensly, I have also started yoga which has been great. Just very mind settling and soothing. You need help, don't deny yourself this, it may not be counselling it might be just talking to your reflexologist like I do but having an outsider to talk to may be the key.

Good luck and I am so sorry for your loss, you will get through this.

I know what you mean. You feel like you should be "over it" too, but sometimes it is uncontrollable. In the first couple of weeks after d&c I cried any time I was on my own. It was whenever I didn't have to pretend everything was ok. Everytime I went to the loo even. Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks after the d&c for me, and I was looking for something/someone to tell me that it will get easier (and I will be less wussy :) ).

It helped me to read your and everyone else's experiences. I hope that it helps or has helped you too.

Also, the day after my d&c I had to cancel a lunch date with a buddy who'd just had a kid (3 months old). She'd m/c just before this last kid, so about a year ago. And she bawled with me. So I think the grief can last a while, even if it doesn't affect you every moment every day. I don't know about all of you, but I found that reassuring and worrying at the same time.

OK first of all yes it is possible to get post natal depression after a miscarriage, however you are experiencing what a lot of women suffer soon after a m/c and hopefully your symptoms will subside.

I m/c 4 weeks ago and am still experiencing mood swings which I am then taking out on my DF. I feel he isn't being attentive enough, even though he is probably acting the same as he did before the pg. For the short time I was pg he was overly protective and very very attentive and I miss this. He does not understand why I'm acting this way and tells me to stop blaming the m/c - it can't be still affecting me now - but I know it is.

I too have feelings of failure - I've spent years trying to get pregnant and when I do I can't hang on to it. I am restarting the whole investigation process now so that gives me hope but also added pressure.

My little dog has been hanging around me all the time since the m/c so I understand what you mean about your pets being there for you. I wake up every morning with my fluffy girl on my pillow - she always used to sleep on my DF's pillow - but it's like she knows I need her with me right now.

If you are ttc then I'd avoid the medication if it's at all possible. Get your feelings out there whenever possible, use this forum as much as you can. We will always be here to listen to your feelings, even when your husband doesn't want to hear about it. He no doubt loves you dearly but just doesn't know how to cope with the situation.

Hi Sophia
I was really touched by your email as you seem to really be struggling. I too suffered a miscarriage a few years ago and its a tough time. To add to that you have had to endure the loss of a pet and job hassles only just recently:...pease give yourself time to heal...acknowledge your losses..remember it is only 2 weeks since your miscarriage ..not long at all and your body is physically needing time to heal itself...yes you are normal but hang in there...are you doing any hobbies or something fun for yourself? this helped me enormously when I was having trouble conceiving...I learnt to take the focus of my problems and had some fun! Also having someone to share the burden with is really important....
Please feel free to reply if you need to "talk"
All the best, love Chickybabe