Grandparent Gripes / Vents

At times even the most loving and caring grandparents can do the most stupid things or get on our nerves. But because their intentions were pure we can't just go off at them in real life so I thought I maybe a thread where we can let out our vent would be ok., so obviously I need a Grandad Vent...

Don't get me wrong, I love my father dearly and thank him every day for caring for my DD while I am at work and doing such a marvelous job but sheesh, sometimes he can just be dangerously stupid.

Luckily Bridie isn't allergic to peanuts. How do I know this... well Grandad informed me the other day, when I went to pick her up that she wouldn't eat the lunch I sent so he shared his Satay Beef with her, and she loved it.
Me: "Dad, I told you she can't have peanuts yet. Was she ok, did she get a rash" (Paniced mummy checking baby from head to toe)
Grandad (sounding hurt and confused): "I didn't give her peanuts, I told you I gave her satay"

I mean how do you argue with that! Obviously she didn't have a reaction! But sometimes I just feel that my parents have taken over raising my daughter. I mean I have overheard dad say (as I walk to the car) "When mummy goes we will have some lollies"... Bridie is 13 months and I have said no lollies yet. I just feel the ignore what I want and do there own thing with her, regardless of what I say.

oh dear! Yeah you need somewhere to vent cause you can't say anything to them hey??
At least he loves her, and these things are his way of trying to get close to her and be her friends (eg. lollies).
Can I just say, that males of that generation in my limited experience are CRAP at the practicalities of parenting? My FIL "looked after" my DD 6 months, one morning for 3 hours, we came back she hadn't eaten, hadn't ahd her nappy changed and he put her in her cot because she wouldn't stop crying... so now I say EXACTly what they should do, and I know they think I'm patronising them.

My own Dad is fantastic but never thinks to change my girls' nappies, has no idea about sterilisation, basically no intuition although both he and my FIL both adore my daughters and really do care about them.

it's such an annoying situation hey? Try and show them some literature/pamphlets on feeding etc so they know it's not just you. Just kind of say, "hey I thought you might like to read these, I know your probably doing most of them anyway, but I found them really helpful" or some such nonsense! Dad's are easier than mums, cause they think they know it all as they have already raised children!!

Hi Kerry,

My advice.......choose your battles wisely - but when you choose them, take them seriously.

I have 3 kiddies - and one very domineering mother. It's bloody hard when they take over like you are describing, but you really have to weigh it up, and think - how harmful is it really?

Sadly, I chose to leave all the battles alone, and I eventually exploded. This has completely ruined my relationship with my mother (not that it was functional at all to start with anyway).

I didn't tell her seriously enough of the little gripes that I had (like yours with the lollies) - and then when I exploded it seemed out-of-the-blue to my mother. Sadly, she has never really understood me or what I want from her - and never will.

It's so complicated, but I am sure that you can balance it out.

xx