going to child care..aint gonna happen

my DD is 7 months old and i have been taking the gentle approach to feeding, sleeping etc. the problem is i am due back at work in three months and i really dont think she is gonna be able to handle it. for starters, i rock her to sleep to rock music, i let her fall asleep in my arms, she wont sleep in a cot so i put her down on our queen size bed, if she wakes i booby her back to sleep, she will only fall asleep for me 90% of the time, otherwise only her daddy, she will not drink from a bottle and so i am boobying her, she wont even have breast milk in a bottle or a cup!! she cries for me if i am not there, i just dont think she is gonna be able to do this. HELP!

Well you've got 3 months to try different techniques with settling, sleeping and feeding.

*settling for sleep - I know with the daycare my DD goes to, if any of the bubs are restless when they're tired, they will rock/pat to sleep. They do have pretty loud music on, though it's not rock music! Once she's asleep, would she sleep in a cot then, or does she wake up and realise where she is?
*not taking a bottle/sippy cup - have you tried many different sippy cups? I know a few parents who have this problem. All I can suggest here is to try different sippy cups until hopefully you find one that she takes. My DD would only take the MagMag sippy cup, refused the rest. If you can overcome this problem and get her to take EBM from a sippy cup, then the daycare ladies will be able to feed her back to sleep with it.
*separation anxiety - this is part of the reason my DD went into daycare. She started going through this, and I didn't want it to become a huge problem. You've probably tried this, but have you tried leaving her with someone she knows (grandparents/aunties/uncles) for a couple of hours, a couple of times a week for her to get used to it? And maybe leave something of yours (like a Tshirt) so she can smell you, and leave a comforter for her, like a teddy.

You've probably tried all the above, but I do hope things change and you're able to go back to work stress free, and also have some 'me time'. Good luck.

hollo - are you doing any form of transitition into daycare to get both you and her used to it??? (not that this addresses your particular issues currently) also and not discounting your worries because I fully understand the issues - have been through them myself and watched numerous friends go through them - but you'd be surprised at what they'll do in a daycare situation rather than at home. my godson would happily take a mag cup spout on a bottle at daycare but not a chance from mum or even at home at that time, he would drop off to sleep quite happily at daycare where at home he would need rocking for ages.

jodi has highlighted some good things to try - if you haven't already. also have you discussed your issues with the daycare centre to get there perspective on how they will handle the situations if they develop - maybe this will help ease your mind a little about what will happen if some of these areas don't change. eg you'll know that they are happy to rock her to sleep etc.

I can see why you're worried, I have the same fears as my little man will be going to daycare two days a week starting September.
One thing that's really important to remember is what Jaspen said - they will often be very different with a carer than they are with you. With the boob for example - if they KNOW you aren't there so booby isn't an option they're more likely to drink from a cup for the carer...etc etc. Obviously every kid is different in this respect but she may just surprise you.
The other thing I'd suggest is to look into family daycare as an alternative to a larger centre. With young babies and infants FDC carers often have more time to spend settling them etc and because it's one consistent carer every single day they often settle in with much less fuss. I really found this when my DD started at 7 months.
Good luck with it all it's hard! :)

thanks for your replies.
well i dont have any family here but the few times i have left her with her dad she has cried a whole lot and have had to come home to settle her.
she will drink water from her sippy cup but when i tried formula or breast milk she starts to drink as per usual then lets it fall out of her mouth when realises its not water.
yeah, she is the type of kid who will fall asleep in arms and when placed in cot wake and know she doesnt want to be in there so she either 1-cries or 2- is wide awake for the next couple of hours!!!!!!
i sometimes just wish she would be an 'easy' kid.

With the drinking situation... have you tried the Tommee Tippe straw bottle or straw cup? If your baby can suck on a breast they can suck on a straw. You just put the straw into their mouth and their sucking reflex naturally brings up the drink, and *whalla* you've got an alternative to the boob. My little guy is 14 months and has been using his since he was 3 months. It's fabulous, non-spill and allows me a rest. Safeway stock them but you'll probably find them in other supermarkets too.

Hollo, I agree with the others. I had to put Jack into day care at 7 months and never thought it would work. But actually he settled in no problems and loved it. I took a bit longer to get used to it LOL! He was a booby baby and didn't ever take a bottle. But he did take EBM from a magmag cup so that worked well. He never ever needed formula, he stayed a booby baby until he self-weaned at 14months (when I was pg).

As for the settling to sleep, well you would be amazed at the patience of these carers. They will rock/pat to sleep, whatever the parents want. And they are so good with kids that they can easily settle bubs even if they aren't used to being away from Mum. I have spent a lot of time at Jack's day care (I used to go and feed him at lunchtimes and stay to play for a while) so I have observed the carers with lots of bubs.

I honestly think the transition will be harder for you than your DD. Certainly start preparing her now as best as you can, by trying cups and leaving her for spells. And if you can start her at day care a couple of days before you start work, so you can both spend time there together first, and then just leave her for short periods, that can help too. But if you can't do any of that, don't worry, I'm sure it will still work.

To prepare you, it is helpful to visit the centre a few times and talk to the carers. Once you get to know them, you will feel more comfortable leaving her there. Oh, and start building up a supply of frozen EBM early. If you are stressed you might find expressing harder. I had so much for Jack the freezers at day care and at home were full of it.

i would just like to ask how you feel about going back to work. do you want to go back to work? or are you going because you have to go back to work? you may not be able to get out of going back to work, but often the anxiety of the mother has a way of transferring itself onto the baby. it can often be worse for the parents and more stressful (even for a short amount of time) for the parent then it is for the baby; (i know it is extremely stressful for me), but sometimes there is no other option and you need to prepare yourself for the transistion. you need to find someplace (childcare) where both you and your baby feel comfortable. visit with your baby and stay there the first couple of times, get to know the carers; make the transition as slow as possible. maybe leaving bubs there for a couple of hours on day, gradually building it up.

i am sure other people have other tips, but i hope this helps.

i would just like to add that children are very resilient beings, often more so then ourselves; your little bub might just surprise you with how well she copes; although you should still prepare yourself for a little seperation anxiety to begin with.

Callum has just started day care one day a week and at first it was hard for both of use (only the leaving part) after he was there it was fine but they do get us to it. You will find that once she starts going and gets use to it she will probably settle easier and with other ppl. So that will be good for you. And if she is hungry enough she will take the milk out of a bottle. by then she will be bigger and older and not having as much milk anyway. More solid foods.
All will be ok.
Good luck