Printable View
I have been TTC for 6+yrs. The hardest thing I am finding the hardest thing to do is to keep going.
Being at the stage of wanting to give up, is heart breaking. My DH and I are financally and emotionally spent.
When we keep hearing from family and friends, just relax it will happen... This is harder. Going to family and friends celebrations of new babies... This is impossible.
Just need to find away to keep hoping.
:pray:
you've certainly come to the right place for support! Firstly welcome to BB, you will love it here :)
I was a long term ttc-er and there are a lot of others on here too unfortunately :( Although we weren't ttc for as long as you-- we still understand the pain.
Never ever give up hope. Believe in yourself and it will happen. I hope some others can be more helpful to you :hug:
Tissy,
Ahh The relax and it will happen message hey, if only it did work! Its so frustrating when people give you that comment. There is a thread on here about the things you dont want to hear when TTC.
Have you sought out some medical reasons as to why you havnt fallen pregnant as yet?
Hi,
I really hope everything works out for you. I was TTC for a long time as well. I didnt tell anyone that we were trying because I was too heartbroken. I used to think it would never happen. Cycle after cycle, AF would happen like clockwork. I know exactly what you mean about pregnant women and babies, it is so hard to see them, and you feel so guilty for not wanting to share in their happiness, but it is soooo painful. Please dont be upset with yourself for feeling this way. You need to look after yourself emotionally.
I was very lucky as I concieved my son naturally. I wish you the very best, as you continue your journey, and urge you to read as much as possible to become fully informed, and to go and see a doctor as soon as you can.
Indeed I have sought medical advice. Unfortunately I am the one with the problems, suffering from PCOS, as well as having a retroverted uterus, a few other medical problems.
I sometimes feel like my DH blames me. He would make a fantastic father.
I am glad that I have found some support on BellyBelly
Hey Tissy,
None of your problems are insurmountable.
You'll find loads of ladies who have PCOS who are TTC and having success. And a retroverted uterus doesn't have any impact on your fertility.
Your DH may be frustrated but not with you - more with the situation and the fact that he has no control and no way to fix this (you know men, they love to fix things).
I'm sure that you will find support and encouragment here. Learn as much as you can - i found it really helped. It gave me something to do and made me feel like i had some choices and a little bit of control.
Good luck.
Tissy,
Welcome!
I have PCOS as well, but have recently learnt that I have been ovulating lately... after almost a year on Metformin, things seem to be working! :) (Unfortunately no BFP because of DH's lack of any viable sperm)
DH has been seeing specialists for 2 years and is still getting treated for one of his conditions - the one that can be treated. Getting proper medical care has been a huge struggle for him... but slowly things seem to be happening.
I don't know why I am being so positive in this post... I have been upset and/or crying the whole day about this whole TTC nightmare... yeah, it really sucks, i don't know how people last it out for years and years and years!
Dr. Eden has writen a great book about PCOS. I found it very informative when I read it. There are girls on here with PCOS and who have been able to fall pregnant.
The medical help from someone who you feel comfortable with and you feel is doing the right thing for you is so important.
I have been given the advice of seeking out some counselling, we had a bit of a different situation, we thought it was all my issues that were causing us not to fall pregnant but due to a being told by the doctors surgery everything fine with DH we just kept going. Then when we sought our results for the FS everything did a full circle! Its actual DH who has some issues. FS said im nothing really to worry about if DHs results are like this again, so we are waiting for the results to come back.
There are days where I feel so angry at him, days I just want to scream that hes being so selfish adn because of him Im going to have to go through so much physically. And he gets off scott free, so to speak. Then you get the I feel really bad for thinking that way. Ive sought help reading some book about people who have gone through the same thing as well as all the endless support from beautiful people here on BB.
Summer,
I will try and locate a copy of this book, I am saving up the funds atm to have further exploritory surgery. Unfortunately I can't take the metformin for the PCOS, as the side effects were too great, and were affecting my health.
I have been reading through some of the threads on here, they are inspirational. It is amazing how everyone can pull together and support each other.
Thanks BellyBelly for showing me this.
Hi Tissy,
I understand how you feel and how after so long things can start to get on top of you. Dh and I were ttc for 6 years, first without intervention then whilst on clomid for 18months.
I have PCOS and wasn't ovulating, but after being on clomid for so long and not falling pregnant we decided to do IVF ICSI. At our initial appointments DH was sent for a more indepth sperm analysis and it was discovered that 98% of his sperm were abnormal, effectivly giving us only a 2% chance of falling pregnant (probably less when adding in my problems!). Knowing why we hadn't been able to concieve and that there were ways to overcome these issues helped so much and renewed our hope.
We were very lucky and fell pregnant on our first IVF cycle. So I just wanted to say, although after 6 years it is so difficult to keep trying month after month and at times seems so hopeless, please don't give up.
HI Tissy
i also have PCOS and am going through assisted conception so can understand where you're coming from. i too had very nasty side effects from the metformin, but my FS really wanted to keep me on it, so changed me to the extended release one, which you only need to take once daily - my side effects have dropped off dramatically - still a few little ones (upset tummy if i eat the wrong thing), but i can cope now - before i changed, i just felt like curling up in a ball all the time cos i couldn't function. maybe it's something to suggest to your doctors...
i really hope it's not too long until you have the funds behind you to take the next step hun and can move along in this ttc journey
It is sometimes so hard to be around everyone elses babies. I get to the stage where I get sick of being happy for them but one day I hope to be that happy till then I grin and bear it in public and behind closed doors and in my husbands arms I cry. Was at a wedding last night and it all hit me, so as we were dancing I was balling I want my life to change I want to be a mum and I want to be complete. Its so good knowing Im not alone though.
Awww good luck hun and hope you get a BFP soon!!
Hi Tissy,
Welcome!
I have PCOS too and it really sucks. Some days I just cry.
Good Luck with your TTC journey.
SAM :)
Tissy - sweety ttc is such a hard road to travel, but you certainly have come to the right place for support and understanding. Never give up hope though.....
What state are you in? i ask only because I have a wonderful NP who has helped countless no. of women fall pg (women with PCOS and other conditions). I tried for 1.5yrs - i have one tube and I had a retroverted uterus, and i fell pg withn 3 months of seeing her. If your in Melb its worth going to have one consultation to find out more and see if she can help. THe best story I heard was in her office the other day when a woman who had been ttc for 25 years sent a thank you card and pic of her newborn son. I cried when i read the card. She was doing IVF for about 20 years on and off and no luck, seeing the NP was her last option (i think she was over 45) and she got pg naturally. Im not saying by any means that this is a sure thing, and I dont normally like to preach about it, but after reading your story I felt obligated to to tell you about her. You can google her clinic 'natural stress therapy'.
I wish you the best of luck sweety and hope that you get your bfp soon.
Lisa
Hi Tissy and Welcome,
I definately know how you must be feeling after TTC for 10years myself. Everyone else so far has given you lots of useful info and I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone here being a real LT TTC. I have gone through several stages over the years with others being pg. There was the anger/rage stage (not pretty) The self pity stage, the Lets just forget it stage, the Lets do it again stage, the Why me stage... the list is endless. Just know that what you feel, be it any of these things or more, is NORMAL for your situation. Dont beat yourself up about feeling negative stuff. I think it is just part of the process of working through it all. Just do whatever you need to do to pick yourself up againg and move forward. And remember to come visit us here whenever you need to. Dont worry about how frequently you can get online or keeping up with personal messages, just pop in whenever you need and we promise to listen!!!
Good luck with your journey and I hope you get your very own BFP sooooon!
Hugs from SAZ