Is it bad manners to change FS?

Just a quick question to all TTCers. I have just had my first EVER appt with a FS (Ob/Gyn) having waited two months for the appointment. I was pretty disappointed with the meeting.

He asked me a few questions, did a pelvic then gave me a script for Clomid and a brochure and sent me on my way. When I asked about other treatments (eg metformin)as I had heard about side effects he said they were rare (not from what I can tell) and there was no proof that Metformin worked anyway. When I started trying to tell him about my BBT and charting experiences he said he wouldn't bother as it meant nothing. (despite it showing a clear pattern) Does that mean that everyone else is wrong?

He was a cheerful enough man but I felt like he was being dismissive of my medical history (PCOS) and a little offhand. A bit too relaxed considering the reason I had been referred. Despite all the YEARS I have been researching my infertility he made me feel stupid and like it was a waste of time. I was in and out of there in 25 minutes and this was a first appointment.

Is this the "usual" experience for a first meeting with a FS? Should I change or shoudl I persevere seeing as I have started with this one? How can you tell if you are going to get a "good" one? Can anyone recommend anyone who practices in the Sydney CBD? Maybe a woman this time?

Cheers and thanks for any feedback!

Lily

Lily, that reminds me a bit of my first appointment with a gynecologist. He confirmed the diagnosis of PCOS, offered me metformin and clomid (I took the metformin only at that stage). 6 months later after no change and an incredible history of 70+ day cycles he gave me a script for clomid and some blood test forms. 6 weeks later, I got a script for provera from a friend (she is a doctor) and started on the clomid. It took me three days to get my CD21 blood test results out of him, and he broke the news to me that I had not ovulated and should probably consider IVF while I was walking up the main street in Rozelle. Fortunately, I was on my way to an acupuncture appointment (also for fertility issues) and we had a good long chat about everything then. At that point in time I decided I was having nothing more to do with that doctor EVER. I later found out that even though I had been given metformin, I wasn't on a high enough dose to do anything and my PCOS was WAY worse than he had lead me to believe as I didn't have proper testing.

I then switched to someone who was a proper FS. A reproductive endocrinologist as well as a gynecologist. I had the proper tests done, am now on the right dosage of metformin, the right diet and have started on IVF and ICSI (not exactly a smooth journey there, but that's a whole different story!).

Facts of the matter are that you NEED to feel comfortable with your doctor. Your doctor is providing a service, and if you aren't happy, you should find a new one. You wouldn't stick with a bad plumber if you didn't like their service for the sake of manners, would you? Manners be damned, find a doctor that takes you seriously, listens to you, and that you are comfortable with.

I'm afraid I can't help much with doctors in the CBD as mine is in Parramatta, but I'm sure that someone else will be able to provide you with names. Don't be afraid to change doctors if you need to.

BW

Change to someone else and do it quick smart. I was investigated for infertility 10 years ago and had blood tests for all sorts of stuff immediately. That said I never felt comfortable with him whenever I saw him. I felt as he was only interested in getting me to go on IVF which I was not interested in. After I had an early miscarriage (which he showed absolutely no interest in) I never went back to him and never saw another doctor about my infertility. I will probably be doing it soon as I have a renewed interest in it now I have a new partner.

I guess what I'm trying to say here is its better to switch to someone else before you get disillusioned like I did. You need to find someone you are comfortable with and who shows a real interest in you becoming a mother.

You are both right. Funny isn't it when it comes to a medical professional dealing with something so important that I even questioned it. What was I thinking? If it didn't feel right today it is not likely to get better.

Butterfly - I love the plumber analogy! LOL. I can't believe the insensitivity of your first Ob/Gyn. One would hope that someone interested in this particular field of medicine would have some compassion for the journey their patients have gone through before they even get to their rooms.

Satya - I know exactly what you mean. On the way home this afternoon I was wondering if it was worth it all etc etc. I feel better now I have come home and cleaned up my whole house (weirdo therapy I know) and know that you are totally right.

Heaps of baby luck to you both and thank you for your sage advice. I am cancelling that next appt tomorrow and going to find another one.

I would feel no loyalty after only one visit.

Good luck finding a specialist you are happy with :) and good luck with your TTC journey! :)

Hi Lily

That is terrible. Last month I visited my doctor (who just happens to be an Ob/Gyn) and when I showed him my FF printout for the past few months, he was ecstatic that I had kept it because he said it made his job so much easier. He looked at it, studied it and knew what everything meant.

I think you definitely need to change FS's.

Wow, that is exactly what happened to me.

Firstly he was more than an hour late for the appointment (I thought that was ok, he is busy a doctor afterall), I was very quickly given an internal ultrasound (He left me in the stirups to take a phone call midway!!) then he said everything was fine and I should be preg within 6 months! Goodbye....that was it.

I think I was in there no longer than 15 minutes!

I'd have liked to discuss some of my concerns but he seemed completely disinterested, so, I guess I felt silly to ask and before I knew it I was on my way home...

It was totally unsatisfying, I was a bit cross with myself, kept thinking of unanswered questions and on top of that it cost a fortune even after the medicare rebate, it was hardly good value for money!!

I will be changing docs.
sassba

Hello, your health and more importantly your sense of wellbeing are far more important than possibly offending a DR. Any DR worth their salt would know it's about finding a good Dr-Patient match, and if this one isn't a good match for you, then get another.

Good luck in your TTC journey, I wish you every success and I hope you're well supported by an excellent DR throughout.

Hi Lily,
I'm with the other girls - i think you should see someone else. Just going to see someone else doesn't mean you will necessarily give the other one the boot - but a second opinion can't hurt. Some people get lucky and just click with first FS (or GP or dentist or anything!) straight away, but others need to find the right one. Can you take your DP with you on the next visit?? I think it helps when your DP gets on with the FS too, as this is partly their journey too and they sometimes need to step in and help along the way.
I went to a clinic where i was given an incorrect diagnosis and wasted 18 months before seeing someone else, only to finally be diagnosed correctly.
A second FS might not change what you do next, but you'll never look back and regret getting a 2nd opinion and you might hopefully find a FS who you get along with really well.
I don't know anyone in Sydney, but hopefully someone else can advise you.
Good luck.

Hi Lily,

Just wanted to let you know that if you decide to change Drs, IVF Australia have a clinic in the Sydney CBD on York St, opposite the park/bus terminals at Wynyard station.

That's who I'm with and have found them to be fantastic.

Just google IVF Australia and you'll get the contact details from the website.

Good luck!!

Thanks everyone for your feedback! I really appreciate it. This is not a subject I would discuss openly if you know what I mean. I also spoke to my GP today who was horrified. She is going to do some research and refer me to a female dr at either Sydney IVF or IVF Australia.... I didn't actually know you could even go there if you weren't definitely doing IVF! Things you learn!

Cheers
lily

The doctors at IVF clinics are all just fertility specialists, and there are a lot of fertility treatments they can use before IVF.

Good luck with finding a new doctor, Lily.

BW