Ever wonder if we were meant to conceive?

Hi girls!

I have been reading and reading these posts, and thinking alot. It's obvious in these threads that alot of us have multiple gyn problems. I've had a CIN2 section of cells lasered off my cervix and have realised that I've had PCOS all my life (symptoms were masked for 14 years while on the pill). Also tend to suffer from chronic candida infections and vulvitis, which makes sex painful more often than not. I'm thinking I'm very lucky to have escaped Endo (so far!). I know alot of you are in similar situations. What I can't help thinking about is was I ever meant to conceive? What right do I have to interfere by taking drugs, injecting stuff into my body and so on? There must be a reason why my body has so many gynaecological issues. My husband and I haven't discussed IVF yet (only on first course of Clomid now), but I have to say I'm reluctant to meddle that much with my body. It's his decision too, though. Has anyone else thought about this? What were your conclusions?

Rosro

Oh Rosro, im sorry for your hard time, sounds like myself, I had CIN2 also and 9 operations for endo.

i was told at 21 that Id never have children and I proved them wrong and so can you I now have 2 beautiful babies and Im sure by what ever means you to will hold a precious baby in your arms.

Good Luck sweetie.xx

Ros,

I don't believe that people are destined to be infertile, any more than I believe that we are destined for anything else. The kind of health conditions you are talking about can be cumulative, circumstantial or inter-related for various reasons. The fact is that we now live in an age where we don't have to accept this situation. I was just saying to one of the other ladies on here that I look at infertility as I would view any other health problem. If I had cancer, would I refuse chemotherapy? Of course I wouldn't. I have the bad luck to have endo which has caused delays and problems with conception. If there is a chance of fixing it, why not take that chance? I know myself too well to let this go by. I know that in future years, I would regret not taking this path as it presented itself. Ultimately of course, the decision is up to each individual but don't ever let yourself be convinced that it is not your right to try to fix something in your body that isn't working.

All that said, I wish you best of luck with your treatment and I hope you and your partner can come to a decision you are both happy with.

Melissa

Thanks Melissa,

What you say has a lot of merit, it's interesting to get others' perspectives. My husband and I are certainly going to give conception our best shot. I guess I'm just facing up to our situation for the first time, and I'm thinking ahead to the possibility of IVF and so on. Still not sure. I want to get my head around it and then let him know what I've been thinking and see what he thinks. Sorry to get so philosophical - not sure if this is the forum for it! Maybe I'm worrying about nothing, and I'll conceive with my first course of Clomid!!!

Ros

Ros,

I really hope you do succeed with the Clomid (and plenty of lovely people on here have done just that) but if you do eventually need or decide to do IVF, please remember that you'll have lots of support here.

Melissa

Hi Ros, I hope clomid gets you pg without having to think of any further medical intervention. It's a funny path that some women have to take - no one wants to go down the IVF path, it only happens after much heartache, investigations, many many months TTC. Speaking personally, once I'd experienced all that leading up to it, IVF itself wasn't as bad or scary as I'd imagined it. It is funny how there is a controversial tag to it, where many other medical interventions are 'OK'.

Good luck

Hi Rosro,
I too have been thinking along your same lines. Personally I still haven't formed an opinion about this although I do feel I need to give it my best shot at doing all I can (because I really want a baby and particularly in the early stages). I have been exploring many avenues of thought and have picked up a book which questions this exact thing. Very interesting reading and has made me really look at the whole "baby" thing and about how far I will go.
Best of luck with your first round of clomid.
Deb

Hi Deb, thanks for your reply. What was the book you read? I'd like to do some more reading. Had a really good chat with my husband the other night and I'm feeling much more resolute about it all. We still haven't made a decision about IVF (will cross that bridge when we come to it), but at least he knows how I feel now, it was so good to get it all off my chest!

Thanks everyone for your support!!

Ros

Hi Deb, thanks for your reply. What was the book you read? I'd like to do some more reading. Had a really good chat with my husband the other night and I'm feeling much more resolute about it all. We still haven't made a decision about IVF (will cross that bridge when we come to it), but at least he knows how I feel now, it was so good to get it all off my chest!

Thanks everyone for your support!!

Ros

Hi Deb, thanks for your reply. What was the book you read? I'd like to do some more reading. Had a really good chat with my husband the other night and I'm feeling much more resolute about it all. We still haven't made a decision about IVF (will cross that bridge when we come to it), but at least he knows how I feel now, it was so good to get it all off my chest!

Thanks everyone for your support!!

Ros

Hi Ros,
The book is Immaculate Conception by Jill Singer. She is very blunt about her own opinions but she also looks at other thoughts. She is very logical with her thinking. Hope you enjoy reading it....it certainly got me discussing things with my hubby about how far we would go.
Cheers
Deb

Hi Ros,

I kinda know how you feel, unlike you, I have undiagnosed extraordinary bleeding and I dont ovulate. Why? We will never know. I have been attempting to get to the source of this for 15 years.

We got to the point of ttc - where tests from my gynie kept coming back as Normal - so I tried the Clomid and unfortunatly for us, I am one of the few that react to it. I was sick for 10 days.
So our GP suggested that we investigate further into why by seeing one of the heads of Repromed here in SA (IVF clinic). We figured that after 3 years something should have been found and if anyone is going to find out why - it should be him. Any way - he looked at our test results, and did a scan and of course said that everything except for the lenght of my cycle was normal (I have a 20 day cycle - standard), but he couldnt see anything as to what should be triggering that to be that way. When he asked how I went with the Clomid - he went very quiet after I told him what happened. He explained that he would refer us to himself at the clinic, but he wouldnt say that we would be "suitable", because of my reaction - I obviously dont Ovualte and the reaction was to the change in my level of hormones and thru the IVF proceedure - it would be 10 times worse. And that I am one of the few women who will never naturally concieve a child - or that any process in conception would be difficult.
I was mortified. I couldnt believe that he could say that - afterall I had given up my dream of concieving, let alone naturally! I was quite willing to go thru the stress of it all just to have my own child.
Thats when I had the very same thought as you. We did so much soul searching, honestly. Why us? etc.
But what we did do - is decided to not forget to live life and accept that if we are meant to have our own family - it will happen, just, when it is 'destined' to happen, rather than us 'pushing each and every button a gazillion times or until it breaks (or our fingers do)'.
About 3 weeks after our appointment - we got our "Welcome Book" from Repromed. The next day I noticed that I also didnt like the smell of cigarettes - I also tested positive for being pregnant.
I wonder to this day - that with our change of attitude toward TTC and babies - that we invited changed into our lives, that those little things helped us over come our physical state.
I must admit that I was reluctant to do IVF, I dont like the idea of meddling with my body - but I was desperately clutching at straws - I told a gf's younger sister not to abort her baby as we would adopt it!! Unfortunately she miscarried a month later.

But I still wonder, that is it mind over matter that helps us thru our lives?
Why is it that I got that one chance? (foot note: We were hoping for Number 2, that by getting one I may have some form of normal - but due to my 'system' going bererk - worse than whist ttc - I have had to put an end to my baby making efforts.)

Funny thing is - we couldnt be happier... so dont ever think that it wont happen - cause it can.


I can only wish you luck on your journey of ttc.... May you have all the Baby Dust you need!