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Hi Everyone,
I'm just looking to find anyone else in a step-Mum family situation. I am a step Mum to a 2 year old son and my partner and i are pregnant with my first child.
I have a few concerns about my step son and also my realtionship with my partner so would like to chat to anyone else in this situation!
thanks and have a great day!
Hi Caro,
That's great thanks. We have him 50% of the time so half the week and every other weekend.
So when we have my step son all the focus goes on him, all my partners attention is on him to the point where sometimes discipline goes way out the window and the little one gets what he wants most of the time and this drives me nuts. The constant "Daddy Daddy Daddy all the time when my partner is home is frustrating, it's like i don't exsist - the little one is so used to getting his own way that now his dad and i have had a chat about not giving him his own way that he has started yelling at Daddy (this is at 4.30am - 5am when he wakes up) and its driving me bonkers.
I have so many concerns about when we have this baby and how my partner will react to his son and our new baby, how my step son will react to the new baby and most of all how i am going to feel. On top of that my partners Ex is a huge pain in the behind and it will be interesting to see how she reacts to all of this!
What are your experiences dealing with your step children and their reactions to you? How old were your step children when you first met?
Hi Ree - Welcome to BB and Congratulations on your pregnancy.
I don`t have much time atm to anser your questions as we`re just on our way out but just wanted to let you know that I`m also a step Mummy, it is one of the hardest jobs around and their are many many ups and downs along the way, I`ll be back to answer your questions from my own knowledge of being a step mummy.
Take Care
DEe
Hi ree
i am also a step mum,to a boy and girl, they are 10 and 11 now but when i first meet them they where 5 and 7, they were in need of much love at this time and they found it in our relationship, in the time we have been together there mother has had around 7 live in boyfreinds, and they always know when they come to our place its just a loving family home,and they no what to expect, where as at there mothers its either a different bloke or differnt house, i have lost count how many times they have moved, we get them ever 2nd weekend and half holidays.
I also have 5 kids from my previous marriage ( one passed away) and we now have a child together, and all the kids call one another brother and sister, its just too hard with the step and half thing.
we are just one happy mad family
Hi Ree29,
I'm a step mum to a 4yo girl. She was 2 when her dad & I got together. When she first started to stay with us I used to feel that the attention was all on her but I soon realised that it wasn't - I just felt that way. When I got used to it I realised that he did pay me some attention and as time went on it balanced out quite well. We always make sure we have some "us time" whenever she is with us.
We have her on weekends fortnightly and one night during the opposite week and for a couple of full weeks during the year. We have her for one of those weeks now. I feel the same way that I imagine I would if I had my own daughter but I guess I won't know that unless we get lucky enough to have our own child together.
His ex is also a pain and has caused all sorts of trouble along the way, so I understand where you are coming from.
If you feel all the attention is being focussed on the child perhaps you could tell him you are feeling a little left out when he's with you. Are you involving yourself in the little boys life? By that I mean do you read him stories at bedtime or do other activities with him, just the two of you? If not I suggest you start doing it. That's how I started with my DstepD and things are great now. I even got a present and card from her for mothers day that she made at day care. She has a nick name for me that she always calls me by and things could not be better.
Please try to perservere with things, it does get easier when they get a little older.
I am step mum to a 7 year old. Chloe lives with us full time and calls me mummy. I also have a daughter, and they are 4 months apart in age. This makes things complicated in some ways, but mostly they get along like any other sisters.
I find it very difficult sometimes being a step parent. Chloe's personality and mine don't always go well together, but on the most part, we manage. I see her as my daughter now, but at the start it was difficult, especially with discipline.
Good luck, and I am happy to help where I can.
Sorry it's taken me time to get back on here.Thanks to all who have responded - it's nice to know that i'm not alone in how i feel or have felt about things.
It's a difficult time in our lives right now with being pregnant with my first child, having all day sickness and feeling less than average all the time, moving house and selling our place.
There was a couple of weeks where i was so sick and tired i spent most of the time in bed so didn't get "our time" with my step son. Since i've been feeling a little better we've gone back to having our nights where on Thursday nights its just him and i we have dinner and he "helps" cook, a bath then both get in to our PJ's then spend some time playing ot watching TV then it's bed time. things have been alot better.
DH is so busy too doing 90% of the work when it comes to cooking and cleaning (i'm so lucky to have him) that the little time we have is so precious.
I'm still concerned about what will happen when the baby is born but i guess we'll cross the bridge when we get too it and for now we need to focus on our relationships and getting settled into a new house.
Thanks for all you thoughts and i'm happy to keep chatting!