Missed miscarriage and grieving
I've lost my baby. My second miscarriage. I started spotting on Sunday and rang emergency, was told to come in straight away. No ultrasound could be done because the hospital doesn't have sonographers working on the weekends. Blood was taken for hCG levels. I was told that they might be ready that afternoon but would certainly be available the following morning. My GP was the doctor on call and he tried to reassure me that it may just be the placenta lifting and told me to have complete bed rest and to come in on Monday morning first thing to have a scan done. At 5pm he returned my call to follow up on the blood test. Not good news. Hcg levels had dropped to 6000 from 10,332. The next day I had the scan. The foetal pole was there but instead of being 11w3d measured 7w1d and there was no heartbeat. A couple of hours later I was able to see my GP and he arranged for me to be admitted to the local hospital for a D&C. The visiting gynaecologist would see me after he'd finished his rounds. It was his first day at the hospital and he didn't know their routines. He wanted me to have the D&C that evening but the hospital supervisor said that would require the theatre staff to be called back in and unless it was an emergency, she'd suggest that the procedure be done the following morning. So it was arranged that I return at 7:30 the following day. I slept fitfully with cramping and woke at 4am with very strong cramps and lots of bleeding and tissue loss. Started sweating profusely, wanted to vomit and the cramping wouldn't stop. A friend drove me to hospital and I went straight into emergency. Administered morphine, moved to a bed in maternity and the visiting gynaecologist was called in. He saw me about 8am and was able to remove some tissue that had been blocking my cervix. The cramping which had been coming in waves finally stopped. At 10am I was in theatre for the D&C. Spent my recovery time back in the maternity ward in a room on my own, listening to the sounds of newborns crying. The nurses were kind and gave me some reading material on miscarriages.
All I feel at the moment is grief, raw grief and I am so very empty.
