Sleep Regression - need some support

Bonnie is now 4 months and is finally sleeping proper big naps during the day (no more catnapping) - which is great.

The downside, is that since she hit 3 months, her night-time sleeping has gone out the window. She goes down with minimal fuss between 6pm and 7pm, and wakes again at 9.30pm and then every 2-3 hours until we get up in the morning.

My first concern is that she's lost that really nice, big deep sleep that most babies have in the evenings (usually going from 7pm until midnight) and I'm worried that this is harming her development in any way.

My second concern is that at night-time, she will only settle with a feed (she doesn't respond to other re-settling techniques) and as a result, throughout the daytime she isn't feeding very well, and seems to put in all her feeding effort into the nighttime feeds.

I'm feeling wrecked, but am much more likely to keep plodding along if I can hear some positive stories from you guys that babies can get out of these sleep regressions without any mummy intervention necessary. I know there is not guarantee, but it would be nice to know that there's a good chance that she will go back to sleeping like she was a couple of months ago.

For the most part, her "sleep personality" is good - she goes to sleep easily and seems to want to go to sleep. This is what I keep focussing on to get me through.

I'm coming to you guys, because my early childhood nurse (and mother, and friends, and everyone else) has told me that now that Bonnie's body clock is programmed into these frequent night-time feeds, that she will not be able to snap out them without me stopping feeding her at night-time.

:hug: it's tough when you're not getting enough sleep.
Lots of babies seem to go through a fussy stage at around 4 months but they usually settle down until again after a few weeks (until the next one :P)
Do you breastfeed? Maybe its a growth spurt and she's just doing what she needs to do to increase your supply.
Do you co-sleep or sleep with her in your room? I'm just thinking that maybe if she's closer to you in the night that it will be easier for you to get up to her and your sleep won't be so broken.
I doubt that her development is being harmed, as I said babies often go through fussy stages - it's just part of being a baby.
I still feed Imran at night. I find it so much less stressful for both of us to lie down for a cosy feed than trying other methods.

Thanks Dachlostar. Yep, I do breastfeed and thought that she was nursing frequently to up my supply, but yet during the day - she's a 4-hour feeder and doesn't seem to be wanting to be fed more often, or for longer per session.

I do a mixture of sleeping styles with her - the first shift of the night, I sleep with my husband (separate room). Then after that, I sleep in her room in a separate bed - and after the 4am feed, she sleeps in bed with me so I can feed her while I'm nice and relaxed.

Hopefully she'll settle down, and this is what I thought would probably happen after this fussy period - but then I got confused by everyone telling me that now she's used to freqent night-time feeding, she'll never go back to what she was doing before.

Clarrie, she probably won't go back to what she was doing before but she will definatley go forward to doing something differant :)
Yasin woke up every 2-3 hours until after he was one but now he tells me it's bedtime if I leave it too late, then puts himself to sleep and except for very rare occasions sleeps through until the morning and then amuses himself for a while when he gets up before demanding his brekky. Even though lots of people told me that I was spoiling him and that I would have to teach him to self-settle I just kept plodding on with the comforted settling and now its paid off. SIL took MILs advice and did the CC thing and her daughter who is a bit older than Yasin still won't sleep alone at night. Comforting to sleep can be hard work but I think it pays in teaching your children not to be scared of the dark and that they don't need you right there when they go to sleep because they're secure with the knowledge that any time they need you you'll come to them.

Good news on the days sleeps Clarrie. Angus is still catnapping some days, 3 x 45 mins others and the occasional 1.5-2hrs.

He started doing the exact same thing a few weeks ago with his night sleeps - an extra feed before midnight and then 2-3 hourly after that. I know how you're feeling! He's teething (been going on a month) and seems to be growing. He gets weighed etc tomorrow see we'll see how much. He hasn't been feeding as well during the day either - sometimes longer btn feeds, sometimes not 'full' feeds - but then having big relaxed drinks in the night. I think your hormone levels are higher in the night which is why they up their night feeding rather than day feeding.

The good news is that he suddenly slept much longer again the last two nights. Friday night he slept from 8-1 and then til 5 and then 8 and then last night he slept 7.30-10 and then til 4 and then 7. Hopefully Bonnie will follow a similar pattern.

Yay, that's great news Blackbird! It's relieving for me to hear that your little one was doing exactly the same thing re the daytime feeding as well - maybe they're so alert during the day that they can't focus properly on having a good feed?

Hopefully, Bonnie will follow a similar pattern- fingers crossed. To think a few weeks ago I was lamenting Bonnie waking up twice a night - I'd do anything to have only 2 wakeups a night now!

I really need to stop listening to people who stress me out about the situation. The way they tell it - I'm going to be stuck in this horrible sleepless situation forever unless I let her cry. I mean, leaving her to cry is bad enough - but leaving her to cry at night when she's clearly hungry - that's just cruel.

Yes, Angus is sooo alert during the day at the moment and taking in everything around him. After only catnapping this morning, he's now been asleep for nearly 2.5hrs. His dad calls him his little curve ball!

It can be hard not to listen to others when you're feeling tired and stressed and what used to 'work' is not 'working'. You've just got to go with what feels right to you. My SiL started doing SOS routines to try to get her DS (6weeks older than Angus) to self settle. He got so distressed he then started waking all the time to make sure his mum was there to comfort him. Couldn't do it myself. Not that I could ever have stretched his feeds out to 4 hrly during the day anyway! I feel much better knowing that Angus knows I will always be there for him IYKWIM?

Ah! This is great! I thought that Natalie's change in sleeping habit was because of a holiday we had recently. She started waking before midnight for a feed, then three-hourly after that. Thank goodness it is normal! I was worried I had ruined everything by going on holiday :)
I hope your babies are sleeping better now, girls. We've had a couple of really good nights (only two wake-ups) this week, and a couple of even better ones (only one wake-up).
Clarrie, I know what you mean about getting put off by what people around you say. We had a doctor come and speak at our mothers group (all of us are first-time mums) and she said that all babies can sleep for 8-10 hours at night from 3 months, so you should teach them to sleep by leaving them to cry for 10min stretches. :o Some of the other mums are doing this now, wondering why their baby won't sleep the 'normal' 8-10 hours without waking, then when they wake they are leaving them to cry. This makes me so sad. All babies are different. I can't believe a childrens' doctor is using the phrase 'all babies...' :(

So, Bonnie decided to throw me a bone for a few nights. We had 3 nights in a row of one nightly wake-up - 10pm, 2am, 6am and then a sleep in until 8 - bliss!

Last night we went back a step again with 2 wake-ups, but I think that's perfectly normal for her age. I'm also happy that her amazing 3 nights just proved the early childhood nurse wrong - obviously she hadn't set her body clock to frequently wake for those 3 nights, it's just that for those 3 nights she didn't need her mama as much.

I'm slowly getting used to the fact that baby sleep (at least for Bonnie) is a see-saw instead of a steady line of progress. I'm sure we'll get a lot more crazy 2-hourly wake-up nights, as well as some great 4-hourly wake-ups - and maybe one-day an entire through the night.

I just have to learn to lie to people who ask me about Bonnie's sleep.

Clarrie - good on you for sticking with what YOU feel is right. Try to ignore other people who are not Bonnie's mother!!
I have had HUGE issues with my DS' sleep but at almost 6mths old we are finally seeing the light. He now sleeps 2 x 1.5hr blocks most days and night time varies from really good at 1-2 brief wakings to several or being up for 2hrs in the wee hours.
I did seek some help at a private hospital mother/baby unit and was very nervous they would pressure me into CC (which I would never do). Fortunately, The place I went was great - NO CC policy and they were very gentle with the babies (and mums).
They did encourage no night feeds and this has acually worked for Logan (no tears involved). He has last feed at 10pm and I just attempt to resettle him at any wakings or lately have gone back to bringing him into bed so at least I can lie down if he wants to say awake. I must note that he is not upset at all without the night feeds and does feed MUCH better in the day. I don't feel, however, that he was ever really that keen for the night feeds -just wanted to be awake at strange hours(and still does!). The feeding never got him back to sleep otherwise I would certainly have just continued with it.
The other thing I have found helpful for my own rest is to have the cot right next to my side of bed. I can just reach over and replace dummy, hold his hand,stroke head etc. great now the weather is getting cooler
We were totally co-sleeping until about 3.5 mths but it does impact on intimacy with DH so this is our compromise. Must admit, I was more bothered by moving Logan out of the bed than him -he doesn't sleep a great deal better with us or not.
Sorry to ramble but my point is that you should go with your heart and things WILL improve. As long as you are getting enough rest yourself -that really is important so that you can be the best mum to DD.

Good news Clarrie. Bonnie's sleep is fine - she's doing what she needs, which is not always what her mummy needs lol! so there's no real lying to be done. ;)

Meredith - which unit did you go to? I'd be interested for a friend. Good news that you're doing better too!

We had frequent feeds last night until about 1am, a stirring at about 4 but back to sleep without me getting up and then awake at 7am. Yay!

Blackbird We went to Northpark in Bundoora. No miracle cures but I found the gentle support for mums and bub great. You do need private health insurance

Thanks Meredith