What am I doing wrong?

I am sooooo over this.

DS has previously done a 7-hour stint. He CAN sleep through.

But now he's awake all night. And I mean all night. I can get him to sleep between 8 and 8.30 (the routine is helping a lot, I make sure he goes to sleep in the crib too, although I still have to jig him toget him to close his eyes at the moment - I have even managed to get him to sleep in his big bed and that's no rocking).

He wakes up about 10 minutes before I think about going to bed - whenever I think about going to bed. Could be 9.30, could be 11.30. And that's it. He won't just be fed back to sleep. He's screaming all night. I change his nappy, I do skin-to-skin, I try to feed him (he isn't hungry), I try to co-sleep, I try to jig him back to sleep, nothing works! The little bugger is now asleep in his chair, nothing will wake him. Well no wonder, he had less than 4 hours sleep all night! Which means I had less than 2 very interupted hours sleep, only I can't sleep during the day.

What am I doing wrong? I'm dosing him up on Calpol before bedtime in case it's pain from teething, I let him have a dummy again in case it's sucking, I stick to the routine, I play with him during the day to tire him, I try limiting daytime naps, why won't he sleep for more than a few hours at a time and why won't he go back to sleep?

(BTW, is control crying whacking him in bed at 8pm and not picking him up until 8am, just using ear-plugs overnight? Because I'm having so little effect I'm thinking that this method would at least make me feel like I'm doing something, rather than everything I do just upsets him and is a failure.)

Oh Ryn you poor love! Mads has given some sound advice, but to it I would add - just because a baby CAN doesn't mean they WILL!

I am LOL but serious! I remember Flynn once slept 7 hours at a stretch when he was about 4 mo and I don't think he did it again till he was over 8 months! And now, he eats something happily one day and then a week later won't have a bar of it.

And I'm not sure if others think this is true (I am of two minds) but a GF's mothercraft nurse-mum says "the more babies sleep, the more babies sleep", meaning quality day time naps makes it easier to get em to sleep at night. I don't know about you, but I know if I am BLOODY tired I am sometimes too tirede/wired to get to sleep and I actually feel kinda sick.

sending you heaps of sleepy baby vibes....

Oh, thats awful. How frustrating for you... hope you get some possible solutions soon....

i agree with rory, sleep makes sleep, i wouldnt be limiting day sleeps as this may be making him overtired at night, hence he wont sleep, just let him guide you for naps during the day, DD still has around 5 sleeps a day!!!!

Well, he has just done over two hours in his chair... men! That was after a 40-minute primer nap too. He will now stay awake until 2pm, when we go to a funeral - he can sleep through that. He normally only does 30-60 minute naps during the day, even on me or in his carrier (unless I force him back to sleep).

He's not feeding enough during the day for it to be a growth spurt, nor is he hungry at night, but he is teething and has a cold - but can breathe through his nose, albeit loudly.

DH, for once, has a good excuse to not help - he's having a nose job today and needs looking after (by me) for the next few days. Not happy about that, but the leaflet I've been given says he can do housework after day 3... that means he WILL if DS is still like this.

I don't want to let him cry it out, but all the sleep training I can find on-line suggests this is the only thing that works for a baby over three months old.

Does he feed to sleep Ryn? Sammy was so similar and has never really been a great sleeper...but thankfully during the night he always and still does wakes/feeds and goes straight back to sleep. I do think though that like the girls have said limiting the sleep during the day (not sure how you can do that anyway!) will only make a tired, grumpy baby for the night. I personally wouldnt let him cry it out..as frustrating as it is..its frustrating for them as well.

Jo

Very rarely feeds to sleep - he will do (or rather, once upon a time he did) this in my bed, but not for his bed. He usually has bath, massage, story, prayers, feed, lullaby, lowered into bed once he starts to close his eyes. Then if he still needs my voice I just read aloud from my book.

He will take a 10-minute nap after daytime feeds sometimes, but not always.

90 minutes? Wow, DS is usually up for 3-4 hours at a time and I can't force him to sleep before that. Even if I put him in the carrier he's awake and alert.

OK, he wants me, have to go!

Oooh, can you send one of the chaps then? LOL.

DS is napping now, but I'm going to hope it's a short post-feed one as I need to change into a skirt and change DS's nappy before PiL arrive to take us to a funeral. I also need to tidy up a bit as they may come back here later; they are going to pick DH up from hospital and I don't know if they want to go home and have dinner or stay here and have me make them dinner (frozen SC meaty food... I love freezing meals!).

DD still only lasts 90 mins!!!!! at 6 months!!!

Ryn does he ever ge thte stares??? long blank stares???

sending you HUGE hugs my sweet
you are a GREAT mother
I can't offer any help, I might ask DH when he gets home what he used to do with his boys when they were that age.
Just letting you know that I'm thinking of you & sending Samuel some SLEEP AT NIGHT FOR MUMMY vibes

My son did a similar thing. He was a great day sleeper and would sleep virtually all day but night time was bad. He was awake almost all night. Not crying but not happy. he just had his days and nights mixed up.

Where does he sleep for his day naps? Jacob was sleeping wherever he fell asleep but I found once I put him in his cot for day naps he slept a bit better at night. I also found the more we got out and did things during the day he slept better that night as well

He doesn't stare, he's alert, awake, watching things - he gets grumpy when he's tired, so I know when he's tired, but he is very awake and loves stimulation, even when he's been up 3 hours he loves it when he gets a massage, or kisses, or I exercise his limbs or he tries to grab something I'm holding.

Daytime sleeps are whereever - yesterday he was in his seat in the sitting room for the morning naps, the afternoon was sprawled on my lap as we were at a funeral, he often naps in his carseat/pushchair or baby carrier; if I put him to his crib or cotbed then he wakes up and I have to get him back to sleep - that's bad enough once or twice at night, not willing to do it all day! It took two hours to get him to have a 40-min nap in his cotbed once (he's outgrowing the crib, so will have to go into the other room, so I need him to settle in bed and sleep, but that's another story).

We are out and about every day, he is often awake for excursions now but still sleeps sometimes. I point out everything to him, like cars and shops and people; he voices his opinions on my bible studies (and gets loads of women telling him he's gorgeous and having a play there), he has his baby play clubs, has a few little friends... we're very active! DH loves wearing DS on walks and loves DS being awake; he wiggles his arms, talks about what we're seeing and loves all the other women adoring the two of them.

Last night DS did 7.50-8.30, then needed the lullaby and rocking again, 9-12, then went to sleep between 2-3 and slept until about 8 (well, I slept and woke up with a heavy chest, so assume he slept too). He had a tiny feed at 8 and another small one at 9.30. So it was a better night, but he's just proving he's not hungry when he wakes so could sleep more!

He was still screaming for hours and I just don't know why or what to do! I did leave him in his sleeping bag last night though; when he's out he kicks me too much.

Have you thought about ringing a sleep school and see what they suggest, As you are in england I don't know if you have them over there.,. Here we have a few and even though I never went to one I made man calls in the wee hours

I am going to look for one, but TBH we can't afford it and if they want me to let DS cry even for 2 minutes I am going to walk out.

Oh Ryn,

you poor thing! I am going to suggest that it is wind and ds may be in pain somehow! If he has a cold he may have a sore throat maybe you should take him to your gp to have a checkover just in case. My DD was sick and i thought it was teething and she had a cold at the same time, i took her to the doc and she had an ear infection, sore throat and sick as a dog! I didn't even pick up on it as i thought it was teething!

Anyway i can't offer much more advise at all maybe you could call your local community health centre as well to see why this is hapening and what else you can try,

Hnag in there you are doing a good job it is just one of those times that things don;t go right i am sure it will get better soon.

HTH

Jen

Do you think it could be something you're eating? I heard of a baby that was lactose intolerant but the mother wasn't....took them a while to work it out.

Or maybe he really, really liked DH's nose and is violently opposed to him getting a new one?!

Hey Ryn, sorry to hear that your little one is not a great sleeper.

Thought I would come in from a different angle, as this is something I really wish I looked into more back when Maggie was 2 months, not almost 2 years!

Have you looked at your diet? I am talking more than just caffeine, I am talking additives. I found out that Maggie is affected by yellow food colourings and I was having a heap. I was so concerned about caffeine that I turned to other drinks and they tended to be full of yellow colouring. Some of these colourings are also in breakfast cereals, yoghurts and icecreams. For you it may be a completely different additive or a particular type of food.

I really regret the pain, anger and resentment that came from Maggie's lack of sleep. It would be so frustrating to be trying everything for months on end, but of course nothing was going to work whilst she was chemically affected. Things are not perfect now, but they certainly are better. HTH