9 month extremely unsetted & screaming the house down

Since last Friday, Nina has been extremely unsettled. I believe most of it is due to teething as we can see the shape of 4 teeth coming through on her top gum, and she is chewing like mad on each side of her gums. But I'm thinking that it's also behavioural.
We have a bedtime ritual which we follow each night, and before last Friday, by 6.30pm she'd be in bed sound asleep and would either sleep through for 10-12 hours, or wake once, maybe twice in that period. But lately, we're lucky if she does go down at 6.30pm without screaming the house down, or she'll go to sleep for 2 or 3 hours, then wake up and scream the house down. When she wakes, we try various things, pain relief, bonjella, water, nappy, even more milk, but nothing is helping. She gets absolutely hysterical if we leave her, and both DH and I aren't willing to try controlled crying at this stage as a) we don't know a great deal about it, and b) she gets too upset, to the point of vomiting if left for a long period.
I've tried bringing her into our room, which doesn't even work. 2 nights ago she finally went to sleep at 11.30pm, only due to exhaustion, and last night slept for 14+ hours without stiring, probably due to exhaustion again.
During the day isn't much better either, she's very clingy with me, screams if I dare put her down. She's been a very independent baby up until now, and would always be happy to play on her own, lately I have to be physically holding her while playing.
Can anyone make any suggestions on what may be going on, and what I can do/try ??

Hi
DS seems to be going through something similar - though he is older - 15 months!
We have been having almighty fights at his nap time and also bedtime. Sometimes (like last night and tonight) he goes to sleep easily and goes in his bed and other times he seems almost terrified of his bed and refuses to sleep anywhere but on our bed. One night he wrapped his arms super tight around DH's neck to keep from going in his bed.
Pretty much the only things that comfort him are sleeping in our bed and/or sleeping with us. He is a little bit more clingy during the day then he usually has been, but still plays well so it is really just sleep time that is the problem.
He is teething as well - cut one upper molar on one side and another one is coming through on the other side (also upper).
Here's hoping that they both settle down soon...
One thing that seems to have helped a little is I've switched from using Bonjela to SM33 which seems to be a bit stronger and lasts a bit longer. Not sure if that will help you.

Jodi, just sending heaps of hugs to you... sorry I can't offer any more advice, but as you know, I've got similar probs with Xander and his clinginess.
The only thing I can suggest is to make sure you do have time-out for yourself everyday - you'll go mad otherwise!

Anytime you need to chat, just pick up the phone!

Do you think she may have sensed your new pregnancy Jodi? I'm sorry, I have no idea.

Good luck .....

I as going to suggest the same thing shoegirl?? Maybe you smell different or something that has thrown her off?

I have just been through this with my dd. Jods i will call you later today!

In my instance i new it was a mixture of teething and something else. It was driving me nuts and sorry to say it lasted a month for me - she was 12.5 mths old when it started. She had all 4 of her molars come through at the same time as well as some smaller ones!

I took her to the dr as well and she also had an ear infection which i did not know was there as she was not pulling at her ears. Lucky i took her to the doc. She was put onto antibiotics and settled within two days and was back to about 60%. She recovered from the ears and the teeth and still was haviong tantrums etc etc. so this is what we did:

Controlled crying. She was trying to see how far she could get with us giving in! TODDLERS/BABIES are smart and they know what is going on! I did the following from the book Toddler Taming a guide to your child from one to four if you want to try it:

• toddler wakes initially it is gentle crying, which then turns to a noisy protestl
• leave them crying for 5 mins if you are average, 10 mins if you are tough and 2 mins if you are delicate and 1 min if very fragile. the length of crying depends on the tolerance of parents and how genuinely upset the child becomes. DON'T give in easily to grunmbling or noisy crying with dry tears, but genuine upset with fear and hysteria needs quick comfort
• go into toddlers room, lift, cuddle,comfort. Occassionaly you can get away with patting them as they lie in the cot, this is better
• when loud upset crying turns to sobs and sniffs, this is the god-given signal to put them down and walk out decisively.
• they are taken aback that you dared to walk out. Immediately they start to cry in protest again.
• now leave them crying 2 minutes longer than the pervious period (10 +2 mins, 5 +2 mins, 2+2 mins, 1+2 mins).
• go in lift cuddle talk comfort. At the moment the crying comes towards control, put them down and exit immediately
• once again increase the crying period by 2 minutes. then comfort, increase period of the crying again, comfort increase etc
• Be extremely firm, continue for as long as it takes. It is pointless starting this technique unless you are prepared to see it through
• once they fall asleep youget rest yourself. If they wake again, once more be completely firm. Do the same tomorrow night, the night after and for as long as it is needed.
• It can be helpful to get a freind or support person as you struggle away at 2am trying to be tough half asleep, it is a whole lot easier to be firm if you have to eport your efforts to someone outside the combat area in the morning!

See how you go if you are willing to try this. I actually did this on Tayneesha at the age of 8mths old. It took me 3 nights in total and i felt really bad and awful doing it. I had my DH support me as well as his Sister and i have never looked back once. It was the best thing i did as now Tayneesha knows that i will not put up with tantrums and things like that at night!

I know that some people willnot agree with this i was one of those people originally but i needed sleep so i did it and this has converted me into a believer of controlled crying. The only thing is you have to stick to it correctly otherwise it will not work.

I am not telling anyone on this formum to do this and please do not do this if you honestly feel you can't it will upset you even more it is just my story and how i dealt with it. On the other hand though if you do try it let me know and i will support you through it if you like.

HTH

Jen :)

Thanks for the advice, and hugs :)
An update: Nina eventually went down at 11pm last night, and fortunately went down without a fuss, but 11pm is way too late!
Today she's been very unsettled, but we noticed she was straining a lot. She's since done 2 poo's, both hard stools. We took her to the dr, got a check-up, no ear infection, temp good, so we're going to try her on some prune juice and see how that goes.
Her top teeth are also starting to cut through, so hopefully they'll be through soon.
Once her poos are back to normal, if she's still carrying on with screaming the house down, we'll think about other options.