Need Advice On Stepson

hi ladys n men
i need sum advice my DP's son who is nearly 3 comes and stays with us every second weekend n we have for a couple of hours every second thursday he was fine towards me at the beginning up untill a few months ago

he used to always cuddle with me on da couch n say hello n goodbye n pretty much be loving towards me but recently he has become very distant from me he wont speak to me.. as he is toilet training he sits on da potty n i will walk past if hes sitting on it n say u being a big boy n using the potty n he just shuts da toilet door in my face
my partner tells him to give me a good night kiss n he just looks at me with a dirty look

i know its probably nothing but its really starting to upset me as he used to be fine towards me.. hes fine with everyone else talks to people n gives cuddles goodbye and all the sorts
he loves spending time with my daughter who is from a previous relationship its just me that he is strange towards....

im wandering if his mother is saying things to him as i am pregnant to his dad as i would not put this past her

can anyone give me some advice on how to get DstepS back to the way he was a few months ago
PLEASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :cry:

tough call Sarah...

Who knows what goes through a 3yo mind?
It's possible that it is something his mum is saying - but probably not.

Coming from a broken family myself the thing that upset me most was when my Dad was giving his attention to someone else. I didn't get angry with my Dad for this - but my stepmum! Like it was all her fault!! (I was only young).

I'm not sure if Chris is focussing on you or your baby a bit more at the moment - but if he is - this could be the reason. If it is, I would suggest that Chris spend as much time hanging out with his son - 1-on-1 time.

Maybe Ryan is realising that when baby comes along - he will have to share Chris's time even moreso. I remember when my stepmum had 2 kids - and my dad was busy with them, I would get so angry/upset.

I'm sure you've done NOTHING for him to change. And there's a chance that his mum hasn't said anything either. I'm not sure how much a 3yo can think about things... but it's normally 'lack of attention' (not from you) that would make me lash out.

My only suggestion is that you and chris sit down and tell him how much you love him, and you can't wait for him to be the big brother. And that you both have lots and lots of love to give him. And maybe get him to spend some time with Chris to reinforce it.

I maybe way off mark here... so forgive me if I've got it all wrong.

Thanks jody im taking all advice i can get at the moment..... i to come from 2 broken familys and it sux...
chris spends most of his time with ryan on weekends we have him n me n my daughter take a backseat not that he means too... it dont bother me as i would prob do the same thing if i only saw my daughter for a total of 34 \hours a fortnight ... we get ryan involved in as much as we can with the baby liek when the baby is kicking we get the kids to feel my tummy but ryan just looks at me funny.... maybe it could be too that his mother is pregnant i really dont know i just know that his mother says some things to him as i have over heard her with somethings about other people oh why cant life be simple LOL

Sarah... just hang in there. Don't take anything too personally.
I had issues with my stepmum over the years (god I must have given her grief)... but we are the absolute closest we could possibly be now. We live up the road from each other, and I can't get enough of her!

I really hope it's just a "thing" he's going through.
I really hope it's not anything that his mum is saying. (hows your relationship with her... could you discuss it with her?)

Good luck Sarah!

my relationship with ryan mother is non existant she n i dont get along at all she blames me for her marriage break down even though it was falling apart before i was around so nah i cant speak to her bout it.....
i really wouldnt put it past her to say things to ryan she is that type of person unfortantly which is goin to be hard for ryan in a few more years as its been goin on now for 2 years already and she hasnt changed
it would be so much easier for everyone if she wasnt the way she is

I could just about guarantee that his ex is putting nasty thoughts into his head. Some exes seem to get very jealous when their ex partner moves on and has a child with someone else. It could be just a little comment like "things will change in their household when the new baby comes along" or something more serious, but I reckon that's what's causing it.

Just be yourself and keep treating him as you always have and he will probably come around.

yeah that is what i thought that it would have been her putting things ino his poor head... i havent changed the way i am towards him well atleast i dont think i have.....i try n play cars with him n try n get him to sit and read with me and my daughter

well i guess i willjust have to wait and let him come around n hopefully his mother will stop her S#*T

thanks ladys for the advice i guess all i can do is wait for ryan to come around and go back to the way he used to be.... i really think it might get worse when the baby is born in a few weeks :( before it gets better