Memoirs

For all the pain that we have, I believe that we have happy memories of our angel babies, and I'd like for all of us to share your memories if you'd please.

My Beatrix would always know dinner time. If I wasn't home or eating, she'd start pressing her face down as hard as she could against my bladder. I also used to sleep with a lab in my bed, and one night (during her marathon kicking sessions), she kicked the dog so hard he jumped out of bed scared. My daughter was also a little spiteful. She'd be more than happy to let women feel her kicking, but if a man was talking in the room, she'd hold completely still.

Thats sweet Avalanche.
Unfortunetly, I am finding that my memories of being pregnant with my daughter are getting a little fuzzy, so I am glad to have this opportunity to try to remember them. I remember after haing a scan at 16 weeks, we had little photos of her head and my DH and I just both looked at eachother and smiled, we both knew she was a girl. Even in that blurry little picture, she just looked like a little girl. We were so happy. When we were lying in bad, she would kick her daddy so hard, and we would always say "Daddys Girl" to her, and my husband was so happy as we already had a son who is a complete mummys boy, so he wanted his little girl so much. Wow, I hadn't remembered these things, and now I cannot stop crying.

Avalanche - what a beautiful idea! We always remember the sadness we have about our bubs but never really talk about the good times. Yours and Bailey's memories made me smile.

I remember I used to laugh cause I used to torment poor little Nicholas. I used to have a cup of tea in the evening and I used to sit the hot cup on my belly and he used to start kicking at it. I know it was probably a little mean cause he didnt like it but I loved the feeling of him kicking so much and I also got a thrill out of knowing I could get him to react to me. I also remember when I had my 22 week ultrasound feeling a little kick and I happened to be watching the screen at the same time and it was such a spin out to watch him kick at the same time as me feeling it. Nicholas used to torment people too, everyone wanted to feel him kick but he would only ever kick for me or DH. When I could feel him I would say to whoever was there put your hand here, and he would stop - little bugger LOL. Although he did kick for my 6 year old stepson, he thought it was amazing - he yanked his hand away and just stared at me like I had an alien in my belly. Both he and his sister (my stepdaughter) thought it was cool seeing him move in my belly from the outside - actually I have to admit so did I, its wonderful to remember that. I could sit and watch my belly for hours while he just kicked around. He was such an active baby. He also did what Bailey's little girl Asha did and every night in bed he got really active (as they do) and DH used to put his hand on my belly and speak into it and say you be nice to your mother and he used to kick his hand, and one time he kicked DH in the nose. We laughed and I said well you've been told.

Oh I could just sit here all night and talk about the happy memories I have, I have such a grin on my face now - thank you :hug: God I wish I was pregnant!

What an awesome idea Avalanche! I had such a big grin on my face reading all of your memories of your sweet little ones. Pregnancy was truly such a breathtakingly short and magical time. (Not that it wasn't also a bit uncomfortable too.) I remember loving that I was never alone. Yeti was always with me, and such a calming presence. He was older than me, if you know what I mean. I loved to lay on the couch evenings and watch my belly move with his alien dances. For the last two months, he would press both feet under my ribs and into my right lung, I swear as hard as he could for as long as he could. LIke Nicholas's daddy, Yeti's daddy would also ask him to be good to his mommy, and each time Yeti heard his daddy's voice at night in bed, he would squirm around and kick at the spot the voice was coming from. What a sweet memory. If I ever get the joy of pregnancy again, I will take twice as much time to enjoy it.

Because I only carried Storm for 18wks I only have 1 special memory. The one & only time I felt her kick!

My pregnancy with Harry was very difficult, lots of bleeding and complications so to be honest, every time I would feel him moved I would be more relieved that he was alive.

So My sweetest memory (although tinged with sadness) was how sweet he smelt when he was born. If I close my eyes and concentrate, I can still remember just how sweet he smelt.

Even at my darkest time, cradling him in my arms at the hospital, I can remember just being overwhelmed with that sweet smell so clearly.

Lv Spring

Spring, just like you I love how my daughter smelled when she was born. I'm so happy that I have her blanket that still smells like her.

I was so obsessive during my pregnancy. I kept a day-by-day journal that I wrote for her, so I remember quite a few silly little things. I had bought these huge headphones and used to blare instrumental music into my uterus for her. I remember at the ultrasound around week 25, she was so ****ed. Didn't like it at all, and just wouldn't sit still for the pictures. I got to watch her pucker her lips and suck her thumb.

It's a little sad, thinking back to watching the ultrasound, since that was the only time I got to watch her move besides when she used to make waves on my stomach.

I miss being pregnant a lot. I loved my rounded belly so much more than my skinny body. Heres hoping that we can get pregnant together!

Avalanche you have just given me a wonderful idea, if and when I get pregnant I am going to write in a journal every day about my experiences, thoughts and feelings. Although it will be for me not for my baby (I dont think the bub will want to know its Mummy was a nutcase when pregnant), I think it would be a great way to get your fears and sadness, and also happiness, out of your head by putting it on paper and hopefully work through them to TRY and create a somewhat positive experience. Thanks for that :hug:

I feel so :( because I don't have any memories of my :angel: baby I didn't know I was pregnant until I lost my baby Jan of this year I was twenty weeks. I wish I knew I was before I lost him all I have now is memories of when it happen.

sorry I got on yall thread :cry:

Nikilove - Did you mean that you didnt know you were pregnant until you were 20 weeks? Wow, were you on the pill or something? I have heard that if you are on the pill and unaware you are pregnant you can continue to bleed. I am sorry about your little man :hug: But you are still a Mummy and still entitled to grieve him even you were unaware - so please dont apologise for posting. I noticed from your ticker that you are almost at O day so I wish you all the luck to get a BFP.

Nikilove, I am sorry you don't have those memories of your sweet angel. I hope you can make new ones soon.

Spring, I am so glad you mentioned the smell. I thought I was crazy to be in love with Yeti's smell when I held his silent little body. I fear that if I am ever lucky to be pregnant again, I will be too afraid to enjoy it the way I did Yeti. hugs, m