Screaming when i put her to bed....

Can anyone help me?
My wonderful little lady had reflux when she was born and i was told to give her a dummy as it would help her. It did! She would sleep up to 9hrs at night and was wonderful through the day. Then i found that she stopped sucking the dummy and only letting it sit in her mouth. When she went to sleep (she only had the dummy when going to bed) and it would fall out. She would sleep for a little while the stir and when she didn't have her dummy in she would cry so i would go and put it back in and she would fall straight back to sleep. This would go on all night.... ALL night sometimes i'd get an hours sleep but others 20mins at a time. She was grumpy through the day and i was a blank wall most of the time. We flet it best to get ride of the dummy in hope that she would be ok and sleep better. She does sleep much better so i thank God for that, but getting her to sleep is hell. She screams and screams and screams. I have tried to rock her to sleep to start with, get over the lack of dummy but it didn't matter, she would still cry. We have been controled crying, which we NEVER wanted to do and she can cry and scream for up to an hour. This has been going on for way too long now and i am a total mess everytime i hear her screaming. We have a bed time routine and i get her down before she is sleepy. We tried letting her stay up for an extra 10 mins, then even 1/2hr and then she is over tired. As i said she sleeps well now at night, even with the 10pm and 3am feeds still she goes straight back to sleep no crying and i'm only up for 10mins! So maybe i should just be greatful for that?...
I'm at a loss, can anyone help?.... :pray:
Lele

Just so you all know... we don't want to controle cry... we want help to stop her crying!
Lele

Have you tried music? I've done this with Caleb and it has helped a great deal for his day sleeps. He really arcs up when I put him in his cot but within minutes he is fast asleep and I truly believe that once I leave the room he stops crying and listens to the music. He's got a "brainy baby" bear that plays classical music. The best Christmas present ever from MIL. I've also played a rainforest sounds CD for him which is nice but the classical music works better.
For the night time sleep I am of the same opinion that it's better to feed and be up for 10 mins that let them howl it out I tried that with my first son and he screamed for an hour and I swore never again.
Caleb usually wakes between 3 and 4 and I take him back to bed and feed him. He usually only has one side and goes back to sleep so I take him back to his cot.

Hey Sammi,
thanks for that! I have some CD's with "baby" music on them. I might go and get a player today.
I have found that the past couple of days she has taken to only cat naps during the day again... so i have a sleepy girl who wont sleep right now!

I second the music! Nina always has classical music playing at night time. Once, her cd player broke, but I didn't get one straight away, and for 3 nights we went through hell with her not sleeping. As soon as she had music again, she slept.
If Nina wakes during the night, I don't hesitate in giving her some milk. Even if it's 50 or 100ml, I know it'll get her back to sleep.
As for cat napping during the day, have you tried settling techniques before she wakes? So if she's sleeping for her first cycle only, than after 30 minutes (or whenever she starts stiring), go in, give her some pats on the back or dream feed her, she might then go into the next cycle and sleep longer.
Good luck and keep us updated.

If feeding during the night works ok for you and her, how would you go feeding to sleep?
Natalie feeds to sleep when we're not at home, but when we are at home she either settles herself or we pat her to sleep.
I hope you find something that works for you soon - all the best!

Have you tried leaving that smells like you with her? I wore a flat teddybear for about a week in my top and now Ella has it. I think she's bonded with it because i see her sleeping with her head on it. (awwwww).

We always have the radio on ABC classical for her - sometime the music is a bit weird with squawking geese and tractors at 1am in the morning :) but that saves me from buying another CD player.

Ann

Thanks for the advise so far!
She falls asleep almost every night when i BF her and she can be sound asleep until i slowly pop her into bed and it starts. The funny thing is, she can be wide awake after her 10pm and 3am feeds and gets herself to sleep... Its almost like she has to cry herself to sleep at her bedtime. Tonight i feed her and she was almost asleep then she didn't cry when i put her down. But 20mins later she started, so i got her to feed a little again and after some more crying she finally feel asleep. I rock, pat and sing but none of that has helped. She also has a "blanky" called pinky that she hugs and sucks on. I did the same thing and put it in my top and she loves and it, but it's SO wet by the end of her crying its gross!
I was thinking that maybe she might need a top-up of formula after BF, but she will not take a bottle, even if its EBM. She lets it sit in her mouth like the dummy use to and will go to sleep, but then wakes looking for her dummy...
As for the music, i think i'll sort out a player for her room. When i was pg i listened to a few CD's in the car and she now loves them! She's a bit of a Bernard Fanning fan like her mum!
So... We'll try music, with Pinky after feeding her to sleep, and some more patting her little bum ;)
As i said, thank you all again! I am only new to this forum thing. Is just really good to read your stories and get advise!
Lele
P.S I found the problem with her Cat napping... our cat! He loves her and i found him with his front paws up on the side of her cot trying to get her to play with him, kind of like peek-a-boo with him under the cot! awwww! Apparently it must be a game with them so now he's out when she's in bed!

Hi Lele - have you looked at what is in your diet? My DD used to really fight sleep (still does a bit, but not as bad). I tried different routines, music etc, but it had little effect whilst certain food additives where in her system. Once they were gone, sleep time was so much different and there was a lot less crying.

Poppy may be sensitive to something in your diet, so it may be worth a look at.

Hey Astrid!
I hadn't thought about that! I eat very plain foods as i have cronhes but there might be something in that! I know a few things i can't eat because it gives her wind ect.
What sort of foods did you find?

She just had a good sleep and went down with no tears! phew!

P.S sorry about the scraming... instead of screaming! You can tell it was getting to me ;)

I find yellow food colourings effects her the most and maybe some flavourings. I have to be careful with yoghurts, custards, icecreams and even breakfast cereals. I can't even give her Nurofen for babies, it hypes her, not good when she is sick. I spoke to a Pharmacist and she thought it could be the flavouring that is causing it.

It is different for everybody though. The failsafe diet (I think there are already threads about it on here), lists the possible additives, foods etc that could cause problems. Some people have to eliminate them all, others just 1 or 2.

Thanks Astrid!!! I'll take all that on borad and see if it helps!

I do however have some good news to report! All day yesterday and last night NO crying!!! And i just put her down for a nap and no tears!!!! I have NO idea why and i don't want to jinks myself, but maybe we have turned a corner!?!?!

The only think i did differently was last night, she was sleepy at 5. This is normally the start of bed time ie, solids, bath, BF bed. So i put her to bed. She chatted to herslef for about 10mins and had a 30min nap! When she woke up, i got her straight into her highchair for dinner and we went from there. Normally she wakes up at around 4.30 from a nap so she is ready for bed again at 6.30ish. So i think a bit of reworking the days plans and a nap at 5 might be the go!

Thanks to everyone for the advise and support, even if i was so tired and stressed i couldn't spell screaming correctly!

Lele x

That's great that you had a good night with her last night.
Just a thought, maybe she was overtired, hence the reason for screaming when it's bedtime? Since she had a late afternoon nap afternoon yesterday, maybe that's why she went down without a fuss a bit later last night IYKWIM?
Anyway, I hope it continues for you.