Back to bad sleeping again

Oh I just knew it was too good to be true! Zander didn't sleep through until he was 18-19 months old & it has lasted 6 months only. For the last month though it has gotten really bad again. He will wake up & call out "mummy, mummy, muuuummmmmyyyy" not crying or upset to start with, but if I ignore it hoping he'll doze off he gets louder & then upset. I go in & pretty well put his blanket back on him (although he's had it on the last week or so) and that's it. Its like he's just making sure I'm still here or something.

Aaron went in at one stage last night, I hadn't realised at the time & he just got hysterical. So daddy just won't cut it. I walked in & saw Aaron there trying to settle him, but as soon as he saw me he crawled over the bed into my arms & stopped crying. All I had to do was lay him back down & that was it. On Friday night Aaron was with him for almost an hour trying to calm him as I had to go to work & he wouldn't let me help. The worst thing is that I knew he would settle straight away if I went in, but he can't be dependent on me when I have to get up at 5am for work.

I'm really struggling during the day now with the lack of sleep as this is happening a minimum of 4 times every night, but more often than not it's happening every hour. Anybody have any suggestions for me? Or is this just a separation anxiety stage he's going through?

Sarah, I'm guessing it's a phase, and funnily enough Jack who is almost exactly the same age is going through something similar now to. Jack wants me to stay with him when he goes to sleep, although he will settle without me if I stay for a few minutes first. Then he is getting up in the night and coming into our bed. It started a couple of weeks ago. One theory I have is that he is waking due to the colder weather and then once he's awake, he either wants company or more warmth. I think if he wasn't waking in the first place it would be ok. Of course Tom waking in the night is probably disturbing him too.

One thing that works some of the time with Jack is to tell him that he needs to stay in his own bed until the sun comes up, then he can come and give mummy and daddy a big hug. If he comes in during the night we usually say "the sun isn't up yet sweetie, time to go back to bed" and he usually does, although sometimes one of us needs to go with him and give him a cuddle first. Other times we don't really wake up when he comes in and just wake up in the morning with Jack in bed next to us.

I'm not sure this is really helping, but I guess the best advice I can give is to make sure he's warm enough, that he knows he's secure, and that you will see him in the morning. Before that is sleep time. I am sure that like most other things it will pass quickly, unfortunately it doesn't help with the 5am wakeups in the meantime.

He's warm enough & never actually comes out of bed, although he was in his doorway last night. It's "toooo dart" (dark LOL) for him to come out.

Maybe a night light might help Sarah?? Make him feel a bit more comforted?? Sorry if you already have one though... Not sure what else... Hope it is just a phase and you get some good sleep soon luv.... Big hugs..

We have the light on his ceiling fan dimmed right down & it did help for the first week or so, so ye great suggestion Alex. It's just not working anymore :(

And thanks Linz, I need hugs right now LOL!

Just sending big hugs Sarah - I don't have any advice as my 10 month Xander is doing the exact same thing (minus the talking obviously).... but I can sympathise with how you are feeling with such huge sleep deprivation. Hope someone suggests something that can assist you soon so you can get a good night's sleep.

((((hugs)))) Sarah, I know how hourly wake-ups are and to still be having them... poor you! The only thing I can suggest is having a special bedtime toy: Liebling has one already just so he has something to snuggle up to (it has worked once!) and I had one, I remember once when I was seven waking up from a bad dream, but just cuddling up to my teddy as my mum hated the night-time wake-ups and was OK again after that. OK, Zander is a bit young, but it does work (eventually). A toy that you wear around the house during the daytime and he can have it as a special treat at nights, then after a few days you can stop wearing it and see if he's still OK with it.

Good luck!

I tried the Healing Hippo spray last night as it hs worked before & no such luck. His ted isn't working either :( I walk in to him cuddled up to it every time. Last night was 8 times & I am just exhausted having to get up at 6.15am to go to work today. I'm dreading next week as I have to be at work at 6am for stocktake which means a 4.15am wake up. I might as well not go to bed!!

When he calls to you do you keep the light off?
I have found that sometimes it helps them remember its night time. Having any lighting, I feel, wakes them more easily (I have tried the night light thing too ;) ). I also tell Violet that Mummy and Daddy are sleeping, it's night time. Mummy's very tired. I am also very firm with her...
Wato works arvo shift and stays up for a couple of hours after work. So if any child wakes it's his job to look after them. I think the problem is, he will sometimes get them up and get them a drink or whatever and then I think they do it cause they know they will get a cuddle and get to get out of bed. I, on the other hand will not get them up (if they need a drink I will get it and bring it to them) and I think I have an easier time of settling them.

I also have the door mostly shut so any light that Wato may be using when he gets home will not disturb them.

I hope that made some sort of sence... LOL
Violet has been great the passed couple of nights, so i hope I am on the right track with her.

Tanya

*waaaaaah* It's gettin worse still, last night I saw every hour (sometimes more than once) up until 5.55am and then up at 8.01am.

I keep him in bed & if he needs a drink I bring it to him. Last night he asked for him light off so it stayed off the entire time even when I was in there with him, there was enough light through the window to see enough.

He's just getting over a cold, but the sleep was bad well before the cold. I have no idea what I'm going to do, it can't continue...... I'm just so tired...... And I'm sure he must be as well.

*hugs* Sarah... I'm so sorry.

Oh Sarah... that must be so hard... *hugs*
Off the top of my head, the only thing I can suggest is can you have soft calming music/lullabies playing in his room on repeat, so when he wakes he will hear it and maybe start listening to it and drift back to sleep again before he calls to you? (Have no idea if that would work in reality, but just thought I might suggest it)
I haven't had this precise problem before (ours usually involve Aidyn coming into our bed), so I'm not sure what to suggest, but I will have a think today and get back to you if I can think of anything else...
Hang in there hon....

Good thinking Ambah, when we changed him to the other room we didn't actually put his radio back into his room, I might just have to do that now. I didn't even think about it before you suggested it. We're also going to put our little heater in his room in case it's the cold as well......

Any other suggestions appreciated too.

Sarah,
Last night was the first night where we had a sleep thru or better still I got to sleep in my own bed rather than every other surface I have in the last 3 weeks. I have put it down to with Eliza (I think) her day time sleeps were rather longish and not allowing her to fall into a really deep sleep. Because other than that she has every known vice to mankind..night light, favourite toy, blanket you name it. Maybe it is a stage, also Eliza hasnt been well with the cold How is Zander? It really mucked her deep sleep state. LOL well I might be back here tomorrow looking for advice too.
Bec

hi can somebody hekp me my 15 mnth is still sleeping with me and dh everynight theres just no room any more we only have double bed its killing me ev ertime she moves im getting puched or kicked or even head butted i just dont know how to get her out.its my silly fault it was easier when she was little

Oh gawd Sarah, I know what you're going through...we're going through the same thing at the moment (but like Anna - it's minus the talking)... It is SOOOOOOOOOOOO hard and I don't have any answers for you but I want to send you my hugs too... I hope it gets better for you (& us & Anna too!) very soon! Sleep deprevation is horrible...

Indah was waking every night a few weeks ago & she'd only sleep if DH or myself laid on the single bed in her room (She will not sleep in the big bed we bought her!) so she's still in her cot... But in the end I stood beside the cot with my face level with hers & I talked to her...
I told her Mummy, Daddy & Maddy were all tired & in bed asleep, I pointed outside (we have blinds & you can just see outside that it's dark!) I explained it was dark outside & night time still & she had to stay in her cot & gop to sleep, I then asked her if there was anything that could help her go back to sleep, she said "hugs Mummy!" So I did pick her up & give her a hug & then said, now it's time for Indah to go back to sleep in her cot, so mummy, Daddy & Maddy can all sleep too & I will see her in the morning when the light comes on outside...
As I went to pop her back in her cot she curled up into the ball on her tummy & laid down... She said Door open, so I left her bedroom door open a small crack & never heard her again! She hasnt woken up since, but has a cough now & I think it's hurting her throat, last night she called out Mummy sore, so as I was awake (cant sleep with back, hip pain!) I went it & sat on the bed in her room, I didnt touch her, she wasnt crying either but siad her throat hurt, so i got her a cup of warm water she had a sip & went back to sleep!!!
I dont know if that would help at all, just trying to talk to him??? I was so sick of jiggling her or laying in a single bed waiting for her to fall asleep etc, I just figured I'd try something else & Thankfully so far it's worked!
I wanted her out of the cot for Zyon, but as she wasnt a Fantastic sleeper I figure we'll just leave Zyon in the hammock in our room, until Indah moves into the big bed, it's a double bottom bunk bed & we had thought Indah & maddy would share the bottom bed for a while & make it fun, but as soon as I leave the room she's hysterical, even in DH & I lay in the bottom bed with her she wants out, then points to her cot & says Indah's bed!!! So for now I'm not gonna worry!!!

Good Luck, I know waht waking up & having to work is all about & it bites big time!!!!

Sarah, this is what worked with Ashy when she was about 2 1/2 and i was so sleep deprived it was my last option. (I know bribery isn't the best answer but it worked and that was all that mattered to me at the time)
Each night before bed I'd put a few m&m's (or some other little treat) in a little bowl. I'd tell Ashy if she slept all night without waking up mummy she could eat them in the morning. If She kept waking up we'd put them in the cupboard for the next night. After a few mornings waking up and not getting to eat the M&M's cause she woke up in the night, she finally started sleeping though.
To this day (she is 5) if she is having trouble sleeping for a while we still do this, but the reward has changed. Recently it was she's get a diamonte on a fingernail every night she slept through so that to have all her nails looking funky it meant 10 straigh nights of decent sleep :)

Another option was to put the blues clues fold out couch in my room and let her sleep on the floor next to my bed for a while. I didn't like the idea of her sleeping in my room at 2, I wanted her to learn to stay in her own room, but like i said before, at the time it was the ONLY thing that worked and I needed the sleep. Same as Zander, she just wanted to know I was close by.

Hope things get better Sarah!