Starting from scratch & needing support, not yelling!

Hi Guys,

yesterday i started my phone calls, i.e making a doctors appointment, ringing the ob to give my due date to make sure he is going to be available etc.

i went to the angliss hospital on monday and the midwife there was absolutely fantastic! i hope to god she's on when i go into labor! lol

anyway, she told me who to ring and made a suggestion on both doc and ob. so i start the phone calls.

first was the doctor. i got an appointment for wednesday next week and apparently cos i've already had an ultrasound and blood test, chances are she's not going to ask for another one yet. i was pretty happy.

then i rang the ob. he has two rooms in different areas, so i tried the one closest to us. the lady there was really helpful and suggested that i ring his other rooms and give my due date etc.

so i did, and the lady on the phone was an absolute cow!!!:(
first she asked WHY i was ringing now when its possible that i might not be pregnant in the next couple of weeks:cry::cry:. i should have hung up straight away! anyway, being touchy right now i didnt take too kindly to her, and gave her a piece of my mind! next i said, i am only ringing to give my date cos i'd like to see XXX throughout this pregnancy. she says, oh well, i'll write it down then. then tells me that i should ring the first clinic again to deal with it all through them! i'd already done that, so she said to go book in with the midwives etc. not to mention get this done and that done. by the time i hung up on her (not polite but neither was she) i felt like $hit and ended up in tears. i have no idea where to go next, other than my doctor on wednesday.

is it because i've done this twice before that i should know exactly what to do? it was a long time ago and im already scared ****less! surely these people should be a little more helpful, i mean if she's having a bad day, why take it out on me?

anyway, my doctor should be able to tell me where to go next shouldn't she? i'm feeling really alone and abandoned by this, and i know i could ring the midwives, but they dont need me harassing them with seemingly stupid questions!

what would you do guys? am i over-reacting?

Hope to hear from someone soon

Jenna :cry:

:hug: Jenna, what a b with an itch. There are absolutely no grounds for making such hurtful comments to pregnant women. For someone with a history of loss comments like that could be absolutely devastating!
Did you get the appointment with the ob? If not I think you should ring back and get a firm appointment because they can book up quickly. While you're at it ask to speak to the practice manager or head receptionist and put in a complaint about the cow who took your call. Most people wouldn't want a person like that on thier staff but if patients/customers/clients don't tell them they can't know.
I hope your Dr can be more helpful. Your Dr will be able to tell you where to go next. Most of us show up at the Dr after our BFP with no idea what we need to do.
You shouldn't hesitate to ring the midwives - that's what they're there for and often you don't even have to give your name.

thankyou, i cant believe she behaved that way. i work in customer service so have a pretty thick skin (most of the time) and yet i have never spoken to someone in that way!

i might give the midwives a ring, after all, they'll be taking care of me, wont they?

thanks again
Jenna

Hi Jenna,

I unfortunately had the same experience as you with 2 different obstetrician's secretaries. I was starting to think it was a precurser for being an ob's secretary by the 2nd one!

I think they must deal with so many women that they completely forget or become desensitised to what pregnant women are feeling and going through. I know when I was pregnant it didn't take much to make me upset. Given that ob's need to be so flexible with their service delivery ie off delivering babies, getting a back up of patients in the waiting room etc, you would think that for secretaries it would just be part of the job - flexibility and understanding.

Don't ever feel silly about asking anyone questions, even if you have 2 other children. Each pregnancy is unique and different bringing with it some familiar and some new questions/anxieties and enjoyable moments.

Remember, she is the one with a problem, not you. She was the one being rude to you. It is your right to request information and ask questions and expect to be treated in a civil manner.

Keep your chin up and enjoy your pregnancy,

Mich

What a cow - Ditto to all the other comments.

I would like to add that I have found some people in the prenatal / medical profession do seem to have the opinion that if you are not a first timer they shouldn't have to tell you anything. this was a problem for me untill I met some really nice midwives at canberra hospital - yes I had had a baby before - but over a year ago (and in a different town and state), and while that might not seem that long ago to some, I had forgotten almost everything!! and the practical things I hadn't forgotten were not how things are done here in canberra! I had my husband tell off the really rude ones! (he has a much worse temper then myself).

Jenna, I had my first appt with my ob when i was 7 weeks and it is not at all unreasonable to be ringing early for an appointment. What a cow! I would write a formal letter of complaint detailing how much she upset you with her hurtful comments and how she gave out confliciting advice to the other office - I'm sure most doctors would like the information given out by their staff to be consistent!

Jenna - you poor chook - I totally understand how you feel and agree with all the cow etc comments!

I had a similar problem when I first fell pregnant and it seemed everyone was short/rude and made me feel stupid for trying to see a Dr or do anything/get any information because I was only 5 weeks. It took me about 3 weeks to finally work out where to go, get someone to explain anything to me and actually allow me to make an appointment! This is my first so I don't think it's exclusive to having had a baby before!

All I can suggest is, even though it's frustrating, keep trying with the people who seem helpful and stick with them! Unfortunately they seem to be a real find!

I had Mackenzie at the Angliss and all the staff were fantastic. I'm not sure where you live but I had Dr Lee. I did shared care with my GP and he said if you get into trouble he is the Obs you want. Well we ended up having an emergency C/S after trying forceps etc and Dr Lee was fantastic. His office is in Brady Road in Dandenong North. We have moved since Mackenzie was born so we will be going to Mitcham (with Dr Ken Leong who is an absolute angel, he is brillant) this time but i have recommend Dr Lee and the Angliss to lots of friends. I also know about 5 people who had Dr Lee before I went to him and said he was great. He is hard to understand sometimes but me being me just asked him to repeat himself. His staff at the office were good too. The other option is to make an appointment and you can always cancel if you need to. Good luck, people can make or break your day so just keep smiling!

Ohh Jenna how awful for you! have you managed to sort it out or bring yourself to call back and confirm your appointment yet? Just remember your the one growing that little baby inside your tummy they are only there to support you along the way. It seems the receptionist has forgotten her role of making appointments!

I rang the angliss this afternoon and the midwife was absolutely fantastic.

im feeling better about it all now, but haven't rung the rooms in dandenong again yet.

Jenna