Infant Attachment

Some great information I got from uni that I thought some people might be interested in.

INFANT ATTACHMENT - HELPFUL THINGS FOR PARENTS/CAREGIVERS TO KNOW

INFANT ATTACHMENT IS...
· the deep emotional tie or connection that an infant forms with a main caregiver, usually the mother. It is “a tie that binds them together in space and endures over time.
ATTACHMENT SECURITY IS IMPORTANT...
· for your baby to grow in healthy ways, for him/her to be able to explore and learn and to have good relationships with others.
SECURE INFANT ATTACHMENT DEVELOPS WHEN...
· you respond to your baby promptly in warm and sensitive ways (hugging, snuggling, rocking, talking softly, soothing) when he/she is frightened, upset, sick or hurt. Your baby then feels safe and comforted, and learns to trust others.
· you and your baby play and interact together in ways your baby enjoys.
WHAT PARENTS/CAREGIVERS CAN DO...
· Provide care that is warm, sensitive, responsive and dependable. How you respond to your baby lets him/her know how you feel about him/her.
· Pay attention to how your baby responds to your care. This will help you to be more sensitive and ‘in tune’ with your baby’s ‘cues and signals’ - the different ways your baby communicates his/her needs and feelings.
· Have lots of close contact and active involvement with your baby.
· Learn about infant massage. There are many possible benefits for you and your baby. It can be a special time in your day to relax, connect with your baby, and focus on her/him.
· As your baby grows, learn which activities and toys are interesting to him/her.
OTHER THINGS TO KNOW...
· Your baby’s brain continues to develop after birth. Attachment influences this development and affects thinking, learning, feeling and behaviour throughout life.
· Your own experiences as a child can affect the relationship between you and your baby. If you have concerns about your childhood, talk to a doctor, nurse, social worker or other professional who can help you.
· If you feel your baby is ‘difficult’, this can affect how you feel about and how you respond to him/her. You may benefit from talking this over with your doctor or other professional.
· Get support from family, friends, and/or community groups. If the demands of parenting are too much, talk to professionals like your doctor or a visiting nurse.
· If you are feeling down or depressed, if you find that you cannot enjoy your baby, or if you find yourself becoming angry with or overwhelmed by your baby, speak to your doctor, nurse or other professional. These feelings interfere with you being able to respond sensitively to your infant.

INFANT ATTACHMENT - WHAT BABIES HAVE TO SAY!

Birth to 2 Months:
· You can hold me as much as you want.
· You can’t spoil me.
· Crying is how I tell you that I need something. I don’t cry to make you angry.
· If you think you have taken care of all of my needs and I am still crying, hold me and comfort me.
· Smile at me, laugh, sing to me, rock me, dance with me gently, talk to me softly. This is how our relationship grows.

2 to 7 Months:
· When I look at you, smile, coo, and reach up to you, I want you to respond to me.
· Crying is how I tell you that I need something. I don’t cry to make you angry.
· If I turn away, I have had enough.
· When I am hurt, sick or afraid, I need you to hold me right away.

7 to 12 Months:
· I prefer to be with the few people who look after me the most. I am upset by people I don’t know.
· I get upset when you leave me. Hug and cuddle me when you leave, and again when you come back; then I will learn that I am safe and secure.
· Play and talk with me face to face.
· Watch me play and follow my lead. If you always direct my play I will stop trying.
· Try to understand what I am telling you when I cry, smile, babble, or turn away.

12 to 24 Months:
· I am learning about my world. I like to explore, but when I am frightened, I need to come back to you for comfort. When I feel safe and comforted, I am ready to explore again.
· Even though I can do more things by myself, I still need love and affection.

24 to 48 Months:
· When I want to do things on my own, let me try, as long as it is not dangerous.
· I still need you to keep me safe and comfort me when I am hurt, upset, frightened, or sick.

All the great mums on BB prob know all this already but I thought it was put in a nice way, I like the 'what babies have to say' one.

I do like the way that one reads... its lovely to think of these as a personal thing for our babies rather than "developmental phases" which sort of sounds cold to me.