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Am finding we are having issues doing bd every 2nd day of month to ttc DH feels that i make it to clinical by doing this not sure when i O now charting etc but wondering how others got around the no romance and sponinaity.
If for some reason we dont get to try i get SOOOOOOOOOO upset i crack it with him!! help
Hi Feeb,
It's tricky isn't it, because TTC BDing is quite different from spantaneous BDing, and i know what you mean, you just don't want to miss that egg!!
I have tried to explain to my DH that I can only guess when I O, so he'll have to sit back and enjoy the ride for a while until my charts hopefully form some sort of a pattern I can follow.
I guess the simple truth is TTC can be hard work for both of you, and if every 2nd day isn't the norm for you guys, he probably feels like a sperm bank (he he).
Good luck with your TTC journey. I hope it's a short and fun one!
Em x
Feeb, I think your exprience is pretty typical. At first the guys think "wow, I'm gonna get me plenty", but the novelty does wear off. I think the trick is to try and make it as spontaneous and romantic as you can. Make sure there is plenty of affection between times, and perhaps find some ways to spice it up. Also, if DH has a preferred time of day (most like first thing in the morning), perhaps it would help to try and do it then as often as possible.
DH and I certainly went through this phase, that it was a chore more than an act of love, which is a little ironic given that you are trying to create a little bundle of love. But the funny thing was that both times when I did conceive, it was actually at a time when I hadn't though I was o-ing and the act really was spontaneous, more DTD than BDing IYKWIM?
They do sometimes say that following your cycle closely stops you from relaxing and can contribute to not conceiving. Maybe there is something to be said for just throwing the charts away and doing what feels right. Although I know how hard that is when you desperately want a baby!
Yep, so common - I had a thread about this a little while back.
I never tell DH when I am O'ing because of the performance anxiety thing. We have NEVER concieved consciously - both times were when we weren't thinking about it.
Don't forget about a little romance - candles, chocolate & lingerie, dim lighting IYKWIM ;) (Late at night, of course, when the kids are in bed - my DH is a night person!)
I asked DH about what I could do to make it more interesting for him at that time of the month (without telling him it was that time of the month of course). His response was that he'd really appreciate it if I wore undies and bras that matched. He said that he was over the sensible skin tone and didn't find it romantic. :lol: AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, I thought he would have told me sooner. I am really a practical sensible non-nonsense kinda gal and well, skin tone goes with everything after all!
Okay, if this month is not the month - then I am off shopping for some matching frilly bras and undies. I also told him he can go shopping too!!!:lol:
Seriously, have a chat to him about it and ask him what he wants for a bit of spice. Keep the right timing thing to yourself and take it from there.
I understand the frustration totally.
Thanks for all your comments makes me see that i am not alone it is normal.
We both work long hours and it does get hard as you dont feel like it!!