So confused

I have just found the time to post about this and would like to get other opinions. I found out i was pg at about 4 weeks but didnt get to the doctor till about 8 weeks. Because i am on tegretol (an anti spasm med) my dr wanted me to see an OB.
With my first pg I only saw the midwife clinic at the hospital and only saw an OB when they needed to discuss induction, so I have never had a real OB experience IYKWIM.
Anyway as soon as I walk in (at this stage i was 10 weeks) and he looks at the notes (very brief) of my last birth he starts saying I would most likely end up having a cs if the baby looks like it is going to be the same size as DD.
Now DD was 4.2kg (9lb6oz) but i had a VD after an induction with no pain relief. I thought i had handled the birth pretty well and felt really good about it. I had not torn while her head was coming out but she had a slight shoulder dystocia and thats when i got a 3rd degree tear (although the dr said it was only just a 3rd degree). She was only stuck for a sec and a hard push by me coupled with a push on my stomach by the midwife got her out with no damage. I was told by the midwives at the time that it was probably only due to me lying on my back, but i was too tired to do anything else and nothing was suggested to me.
Knowing all this I had decided that my next birth would be upright. Having the OB say i would need a cs totally threw me. I had not even considered this.
Is he right? Will I be putting my baby at risk if i try to have a VD? I thought they couldnt accuratley tell the size of a baby even with an u/s. The morning before i had abbey the midwife told me she felt about 7lb. I have asked my dr to refer me to another OB (that a friend recommended) so hopefully the second opinion is better then the first. This dr has put me off OBs though.
Thanks for any thoughts.
Amanda

I think that it is silly that the OB has suggested that you will need a c/s if your baby is just as big. I think it sounds like you handled the birth beautifully, and you did it pushing out your baby uphill, while on your back, with a great outcome.

Definitely get a second opinion. Maybe even get the opinion of a midwife.

Oh my goodness... I applaud you for looking for another OB! What he suggested is just unnecessary, and he really has no grounds whatsoever to suggest a c/s based on the previous size of your last baby. The fact that you had a relatively complication free vaginal delivery last time is all the more reason why you should be able to go on and do that again for this baby!
Try not to let his suggestion scare you... it really sounds like its unfounded. I would definitely be seeking a second opinion on this.
Good luck, and all the best for the rest of your pg!

Bah thats crud, sorry... and fwiw my second baby was smaller by a pound!!!

Check out these articles and definitely get a new Ob! Sadly this is so common but luckily something inside you is telling you something is not right. I think the only way these Obs will learn to cut women short is when they start losing clients when they spout this rubbish. I would love to see the day when women say, 'well sorry, I am going to see an Ob who believes I can birth this baby vaginally.'

Caesarean Myths Exploded
Pelvises I have known and loved
Small pelvis? Big baby? Here's some truths...

My second baby was 40gms smaller and a vaginal birth and they kept saying she was going to be too big for it. I would get another opinion.

Firstly, congrats on birthing such a large baby so well. Just reading her size made wince LOL.

Secondly, as the others have said, there is no reason to believe that the ob has given you the correct information. Getting a second opinion is a great idea. However, based on the stories I have read here on bb, there are many obs who are too willing to insist on c/s, so ob no 2 might be the same. You have said this has put you off obs and with good reason, but there will be an ob out there who will allow you a VD, I'm sure. As you are reasonably far along and it might be hard to get into someone else, perhaps you could ring the 2nd ob and ask the question of him before your appointment. That way if he doesn't seem willing to give you what you want, you have a bit more time to find someone else.

I wish you good luck with finding a supportive ob and for a H&H pg and a great VD!

Thanks everyone, it made me feel so much better.
One of his main reasons for the c/s was because of damage to my pelvic floor. He said that because i had a 3rd degree tear, i would tear again and would have a permanately weakened pelvic floor and be incontinent. He was actually surprised that I wasnt now. He gave me an internel u/s to check the size (which was spot on for my dates) and during this he also checked the strength of my pelvic floor by pulling on it. Then quite smugly annouced that it was weakened like i had been lieing. Of course its weakend i pushed a baby out of there 15 months ago lol.
The OB I am going to see now was recommended to me by a friend. She has seen her for her two children. She was very impressed with her and says she is very open to alternative methods of birth and pain relief etc. So hopefully it goes well. Its just so different to last time when I went through the midwife clinic, but we have moved and I dont know all the services available here.
So fingers crossed it goes well and thanks for the words of encouragement.

amanda he sounded awful, giving you that pelvic floor test and all - URGH I am so glad you are changing! Perhaps see a woman's physio to help strengthen your pelvic floor, but I know women who have torn and haven't in subsequent births. Sounds like a very smug person indeed.

Hey Amanda

I've just been through the process of getting a 2nd opinion regarding a c/s due to some uterine surgery I had in the past...the Ob. told me I would have scarring and there was a significant risk of uterine rupture...he only told me this at 30 weeks, even though he knew about the surgery prior to me even getting pregnant!

I got a second opinion!

The Ob. I'm with now, did his research, rang a Professor specialising in the area...and the outcome...

There is no apparent risk of uterine rupture and therefore no need for a c/s!!!

So...I'm going ahead with a VD...

It was very worthwhile getting that second opinion...I hope you have the same experience!

All the very best!

Oh I'm with the "second opinions" here.
You did one hell of a job last time, and given your knowlege of whatyou body can do, I can't see why you can't attempt a perfect second vaginal delivery.

My SIL's third child was 'estimated' at a "minimum of 10lbs" at about 36 weeks, and he came out at 7lb 8oz or something. They don't know.....................

If you're not happy, get another opinion. Good luck with it.

i think it might not be so much the size of the baby but the 3rd degree tear that makes him suggest c/s. as far as im aware it is relatively common to have a c/s suggested after a previous 3rd or 4th degree tear. but of course, its your birth, you do what you want! but just be aware that this obs thoughts are probably the standard practice

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Then quite smugly annouced that it was weakened like i had been lieing

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WHAT!? But you're not incontinent? If not then i fail to see what he was testing for...?

GRRRRR, i am so mad now! LOL. I'd have grabbed his crotch and reported even more smugly that his Little Man was a VERY Little Man and perhaps that was why he thinks perfectly good pelvic floors are "weakened". Grrrr! Imagine saying that to someone during a pelvic exam! How much more vulnerable could you have been!?

I am SO glad you're changing hun.

Bec

Keep going with your gut. I'm glad to see you have already got someone else. My 2nd was 2 pounds lighter!

Also remembering that its actually the weight of pregnancy that puts the pressure on the pelvic floor, not the birth... women having a c/s can have just as many pelvic floor problems as women having a vaginal birth.