Childcare and Separation Anxiety
Well, the time has come where our finances are running low and so I need to go back to work . We always planned that I would got back to work part-time around about now, but I never thought about how difficult it would be for Bonnie and I.
Bonnie has had extreme separation and stranger anxiety since she was about 2 months old (she's 7 months now). She doesn't need to be held all of the time or anything, but she refuses to be handled by anyone who isn't me or DH (and even then, she'll only tolerate DH for a couple of hours at a time). Even being looked at by other people (namely, my parents)or visiting someone else's house can send her off into hysterics.
While everyone else has sympathised with me about Bonnie's clingyness, it really doesn't bother me as much as it "should". I really love hanging out with her and almost never feel a longing to be away from her. It drove me crazy when the clingyness first started, but I guess I've gotten used to it now.
I'm really struggling with the idea of childcare. I think I've found a fantastic centre with a vacancy for us, so that's great. But I'm angsting about whether it's fair of me to put her into childcare before she's ready. Financially we've got no choice, but it still doesn't feel good.
I'm planning to attend childcare with her for the first 2 weeks before returning to work and to gradually increase my time away from her within that timeframe. Once I'm back at work, I'll then give it another 2 weeks and if she's not improving by then, then I'm going to have to find a nanny. Having a nanny will be a major financial burden but we can just scrape by for a while if need be.
I'm trying to talk myself into childcare not being a cruel option for Bonnie, there are loads of benefits for her if she can handle it - lots of other kids to look at, exposure to being looked after by people who aren't mummy, new activities and toys etc. I'm also trying to convince myself that babies are super adaptable and that childcare just may cure her separation anxiety.
Ideally, I feel like I should be at home with her for another few months. Or alternatively, that we should just start with a nanny and then progress to childcare when she's ready. However, DH feels strongly that we should at least give childcare a good go before going with the super expensive option. I dunno, I want to do the best thing by Bonnie.
By the way, I'm pretty sure that the separation anxiety goes both ways with us - I will be a puddle of tears and anxiety when I drop her off and am already planning on a number of activities that will take my mind of Bonnie for that first day away.
So, how did you guys go with childcare for your kids? Any advice for me?