An IVF sad story

Hi Everyone,

I am the mum of 3 naturally conceived babies....but I have a friend who has been on IVF for a long time. Sadly they have just had another egg harvest - with a 0 result.

The doctor has told them that it is all over for them. He has said that her maternal age is such that he doesn't think that continued cycles will be successful.

Our friends are totally lovely people who desperately want a baby so much! They are mourning their loss.

I would love to hear from others who have had a battle like this one!

Alana

Hi Alana,
I don't think I have come across anyone, on this site, with the same sad story as your friend. It would be very difficult for them and it is great that you are trying to give them some support.
We were lucky enough to have a baby naturally at 40 but have been trying now for over 2 yrs to have another. We are looking at doing IVF using donor eggs as our doctor says that will give us a much better chance.
Maybe your friend could think about that but it would be a very difficult decision to make when you really want a child of your own.

acbyrett,

I went back to IVF after taking break for 3 years and failed cycle, it was suggested for egg donor. We were devistated after 12 years of trying.

After pleading to increase meds, they suggested we would try another treatment, if no success.. it would be over for my eggs/ovaries...

To our amazement, i responded and by transfer to 5 days blastocyst, i had only 2 eggs left and none for FET. BFN- that cycle.

Tried again, ended up with 2 eggs for FET and 2 eggs to transfer, Blood come back BFP - TWINS... But twins were lost a month ago at 21 weeks from Incom cervix.

What IVF clinic is she going through, i am through SIVF and they are great.

acbyrett,

If you would like to chat further email me on minmegs@hotmail.com

Alana
you sound like a very supportive friend and she needs you.There are so few friends who understand or bother trying to get information like you.

I am so sorry for your friends 'loss' and their immeasurable heartache.

Infertility is a silent and hidden grief - mourning the loss of something you don't have. So few people understand it and we never get over it - because every day we are reminded of other happy families and babies galore 24/7.

I would also consider options of donor eggs - which she may have discussed with her DR and maybe not her thing.

I may need to consider this too .

We decided early on after a few years infertility to adopt in Aust and ended up with lovely 13 month old boy in under a year. We are so blessed - though 12 yr pre teen terror at the moment.

I know many people are considering intercountry adoption but it does not lessen the heartache of wanting your own child.

We did concieve one (1st) natural pregnancy last year but sadly our daughter passed after in utero @26weeks 11.5 months ago. Now even though we have our DS I am not giving up on our own baby.

I would also consider long term fostering in future if not to be...

Hi Anney,

Thanks for your reply. Their doctor has said to them that they need to consider donor eggs - but they are really messed up at the moment. Like you said ...."very difficult decision to make when you really want a child of your own" - and that is exactly where they are now!

They have been very open about their journey to everyone - but now they have closed down - I imagine that it is very hurtful when people (meaning well) ask how their latest harvest went.

My DH and I have offered my mostly fertile body for harvest - and have had some very tearful sessions together.....but I am just at a loss as to how to support her.

Thanks for your caring response,

Alana

Hi Baby~amore,

What an amazing woman you are! Your strength is inspiring!

I try to have some understanding of what it must be like to live inside 'infertility'. My DH and I certainly had our fair share of difficulties with Baby 1 and Baby 2 ..... so from that I have a small peek....but to live with long-term infertility - well I can't begin to understand.

I am so sorry for the sad loss of your baby girl. Words are such useless means of expression - aren't they?

Their Dr has suggested Donor eggs, and we have happily offered my mostly fertile body. But - they are in such a difficult place at the moment that every day brings a different emotion....actually that's about every 5 minutes.

Thank you for sharing your amazing (but ongoing) story with me.

Alana