Bye Bye Bubba G

Hi Ladies
Over the last two days i have been coming to terms with the fact that my bubba g will not be going the distance.
I had a bit of spotting on Monday, and went in for what was suppossed to be ultra sound to see heartbeat at approx 6 1/2 weeks. When the doctor did the scan, he said that the pregnancy sack looked like it was only 5 1/2 weeks old, and that may be the reason for not getting the heartbeat.
I then had an appt with the ob on wednesday and he did a blood test, which came back with not great results. My HCG levels had only doubled in one week, and were sitting at just over 6000 for what was then about 7 weeks.
He suggested that i have a d&c, at the cost of about $1200. I was unsure if this was the best option but he was not forthcoming in letting me know what other options existed. It's just f*%cked!
Today, i trugged down to RPAH and went to the early preg centre, where i saw another ob, who suggested that i should try and pass the miscarriage naturally, with a follow up ultra sound in 10 days to see if there is anything remaining, and d&c to follow if needed.
I am much happier with this option, and feel like the private system is a wrought! I will definately be going public, when i next fall.
This is my second miscarriage, and i just wonder how you cope and have confidence going into number 3.
Any thoughts welcome.
Mrs G

so sorry for your loss amanda xo

Mrs G - i'm so sorry to hear about your loss - it's heartbreaking when something like this happens to you, and there is no way that you can prepare yourself for the heart ache. i am hoping for your sake that nature takes it's course and that you don't need to have the d&c - cost aside - having the d&c means you may need to wait a little longer to start trying again

as for how to prepare or give yourself confidence heading for number 3 - i don't think there is a set answer for that one - you need to allow yourself time to grieve your baby - get angry, cry, let the hurt out as much as you need to - and then one day you'll find that the fear of being pregnant again isn't there as much as it was the day before, or the desire to be pregnant again will be strong - and you'll know that, as much as it hurts to think of what might go wrong, you're ready to take that step toward fulfilling your dream.

i too have suffered multiple losses - most recently a very early loss last weekend - for me, i need to take the steps to start assisted conception straight away, because i know if i wait, my fears will overcome my desire to be a parent, and it will be far too hard to make a decision in a few months to go back - i am by no means 100% confident that i'm making the right decision, or that i will not be a bundle of nerves when we start again - but that is ME and what is right for MY circumstances - yours may be very different and you need to do what is right for you

hun my heart goes out to you. take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve

BG

So sorry to hear of your losses Amanda. :hugs:

It's such an awful time, I know what your going though.

My first m/c I had a D&C and I was 11 weeks then the second m/c at 7 weeks the doctors told me to pass naturally. It was a tough time but as time goes on you will start to heal. Just keep telling yourself there is hope.
Look at where I am now.

We are all here to support you through this hun. Take care and give yourself time to grieve.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss Amanda, and to you also BG.
Amanda, I chose to let nature take its course, and physically it was over in about 5 days. Mentally, that takes a lot longer.
I can't give you any advice about going back again. As much as I'd love to be pg right now, and want another baby, I'm not ready to fall pg IYKWIM.
I hope nature takes it course with you. Good luck with everything.

MrsG, I'm so very sorry to hear of your losses. It's such an absolutely devestating thing to have to comprehend, and there are sadly many women here who know the pain all too well.

I see that you have already been given wonderful advice, and there's probably nothing more that I can add, but I have found posting here and being able to work through everything was amazingly helpful. I hope you find the support here that you need, as I did after my own loss.

:hug:

I elected to go with the D&C option as I wanted everything "fixed" as soon as possible. I don't regret my decision, I'm relieved that I didn't have to go through a natural miscarriage, but it also took quite a while for the reality of my loss to fully set in and I can see how going through the process could be an important part of saying goodbye for some people.

This isn't easy, no matter which way you choose to go. Remember that the right decision for you is not necessarily going to be the right decision for someone else.

I feel as though my words are so woefully inadequate at this time. Take care of yourself and your partner. :hugs:

BW

Thanks for all of your support and kind words.
I know that i am not the lone ranger, and the first to experience this, and it is heartning to hear stories of hope and success.
I have a few things to look forward to in the next few weeks ... a trip to NYC and Miami, and i am sure going to enjoy myself.
DH is feeling the pain too, and i think that a holiday will be the best thing for us to just relax and enjoy each others company. Maybe it will be our last hoorah! SO looking forward to being able to drink a manhattan in manhattan!
Feeling the positivity slowly coming back into my heart.
Thanks for sharing my story.
Amanda

Amanda - So sorry for your loss. I have dealt with the private system before with my first m/c. I was 16wks. My water had broken and the private hospital turned me away, even after being told the previous week by them that if I needed anything, if anything was wrong to contact them. They told my DH to take me to the public hospital as there was nothing they could do. By the time I got to the hospital I had haemmoriged and had several people working on me. I ended up with a blood transfusion and the D & C. After having the private hospital turning me away, I cancelled my health fund and stuck with public care, I had all the care in the world provided to me, the support as well, not like the private hospital. It really turned me off private care. I since then had another m/c and 2 ceasers with public care. My first two were also public care.
Take care and just know that we are here for you. Hugs.

Amanda, I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have a nice holiday planned, so enjoy it as best you can. Take care :hug:

I am sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you at this sad time

Munchy xxx

I'm sorry for your loss. I found my second loss the hardest even though it was an early one. I guess it was because I couldn't believe that I had been unlucky enough to have it happen to me again.... these things happen to other people, not me. Because of my age (41) I just had to start ttcing straight away. My third loss was very recent but I am recovered from it already because I was better prepared for it this time around. Again, I jumped straight back in there again. I think it's a different story if time is on your side, you can allow yourself lots of time to recover before you even think of ttcing again.... you will know when the time is right.

amanda, i am so sorry for your loss. hugs to you. xxoom

once again, thanks for all of your support. It means alot when there are people out there that "get" what you are going through.
i am keen to jump back on the wagon asap. maybe will have some joy, being on holidays and relaxing should help.
thanks a bunch
amanda