Does Anxiety ever stop??

Hi there All

I'm close to 17 weeks pregnant and I know that by now I should be feeling at peace and happily plodding along in my pregnancy, but I seem to be getting more and more anxious every day....

I don't think I have a legitimate reason to feel this way but it seems that the furhter I go in this preganancy the more I feel a sense of doom and gloom (this is soooooooooooo YUK!!!) as all I want to do is bask in the glory.

I am wondering is this from the excessive hormones or is this purely an individual case??

Has anyone else felt this way before - this is my first pregnancy so everything is new and scary to me....

Besides that I feel that my stomach has stopped growing or definitley slowed down so I think that is causing me grief.....

Either way feeling miserable at the moment....is there anything i can do to stop this emotional roller coaster?? :cry:

In my case I have to say no - the anxiety doesn't stop 8-[ . I don't think that there is a magical point in your pregnancy when all your fears should just vanish and I think that its perfectly normal and human to be scared especailly if this is your first pregnancy. Once you deal with one thing another one pops up and then after your baby is born you have a new raft of issues to worry about. I think that being anxious is just part of being a parent but if its totally overwhelming you and preventing you from enjoying your life maybe you could speak to a counsellor.

I'm so sorry you are feeling down Dianna.... I had bouts of that too. Realistically I think everyone does.

As far as the 'baby relateed anxiety' goes I am sure you will feel a lot better after your 19 week scan. For me that was a real turning point. It was so indepth & broad, I finally understood that 98% of concievable major problems could be eliminated so i was able to sigh with relief & relax.

With regard to 'you related anxiety' my advice is to just start reading & get as prepared as you possibly can. This often adds a sense of strength & power to the equation. I read everything I could get my hands on about breastfeeding, sleeping, hormone rythms, baby developement etc. The feeling of control came in & I felt clearer in my ability to handle the upcoming changes.

Remember.... we have been doing this FOREVER..... you are not the first, you wont be the last & there is help out there for absolutely any problem that arrises!

Treat yourself well & good luck :)

Thanks for your reply

Unfortunately i think i may have done too much reading....I think that is adding to my anxieties - I know crazy but true - maybe I'm reading too much of the bad stuff and not enougth of the good stuff - either way your advice has given me some comfort.

I'm hoping my 19 week scan will give me the same sense of relief you felt - one can only hope [-o<

thanks again - I'll try and cheer up in the mean time

Different people cope with anxiety in different ways, but I think that every mother has anxiety at some stage during the pregnancy. I'm having my third child and have a good idea of what is going on, but at the beginning of the third trimester this time around I really found myself stressing out about trying to decide what my best options were for labour, and it bothered me for weeks until I got on top of it.

It's totally normal to be emotional about things throughout the pregnancy, relax, you're not abnormal at all! The anxiety is just a part of it, if you can just think positive and put the worries aside.

Kerrie

I went through a stage from 18 weeks to about 27 weeks where my belly didn't seem to grow at all, and I got quite anxious (I even measured it weekly with a tape measure!) But then I hit 28 weeks and have "popped" again. At my 20 weeks scan I was told the baby was larger than average, so I guess it was just going up rather than out!! I alos worried that all the books say I should have put on .... kilos by now, and I'm nowhere near the number they say, but my midwife has said it's really quite irrelevant as the baby is obviously developing.

As for anxiety, apart from that associated with what I've just told you, I still get random and irrational "panic attacks" which last for a few minutes when I think "What the bloody hell is happening!!" then I'm fine again.... When this happens I go read "Up the Duff" as it puts everything in perspective - it's the best book!! I've told all my friends who haven't been pregnant yet that it's the ONLY book they should read - doesn't scare you the way some of the others do...

yes i agree buy and read up the duff. not nearly as graphic or disturbing as all of the other books that for me were too 'real'. i was terrified during my first pg. its meant to be the most natural thing etc. but personally i found it to be the most unnatural thing that ever happened to me. so many things to think about. i loved my belly then hated my deformed body. i loved making a baby but o my god, there was a human growing inside 'my' body that had to somehow get out of there. i was elated but terrified. quite simply i was very confused. now im doing it again. this time its wonderful.
i think some people just cope very well with their first pgs and most of us find it a bit trickier and why wouldnt we. its always hard doing something for the first time let alone something so important as creating another human being.
my 4 yr old human is banging loudly on something upstairs so i have to go but just remember not to compare yourself to others too much and try to have some systems for coping in place before the baby arrives. you may feel particularly vulnerable and the last thing youll need is people swooping in and pressuring you with their 'advice'.

beck

I still get bouts of anxiety. It had settled down after my u/s at 22 weeks which was good, bubs was so much bigger and so well developed. But there are so many things I still think about that can worry me sometimes, although I try not to think about it too much and try to enjoy this pg as much as possible. I think it's just part and parcel of pg, we can worry a lot, but I think it's just our mothering instincts, as our priority is the welfare of that tiny little bubba. I think I just tell myself now that bubs is moving a lot, the u/s said she was healthy and I'm feeling pretty good.

I hope once you have your next u/s that you're anxiety will settled down. Good luck and I hope you have a H & H pg.

Hi there All

thanks for all your kind words and support.

I had my first appointment this morning with the OB and obviously had complete melt down - which resulted in some High Blood pressure results - however given I was this upset the doc brought out the ultrasound machine - and let me see the baby - which has given me a sense of relief.

He told me to just relax and take time out and not to worry the baby is growing and the heart is beating so now i need to concentrate on looking after myself.

so to cut a long story short i'm about to investigate into yoga - i remember doing this some years ago and getting that floating feeling after each class....here's hoping it will have the same effect on me now.

There's alot to be said for unplanned pregnancies - i know for alot of women it is the most amazing surprise - for me it has given me a lack of control.....even though i couldn't be happier with the impending birth of my baby - it's still a big surprise to the system when you were least expecting it.

anwyay thanks again everyone -i'll be sure to go home and read my "up the duff" book again - my gorgeous sister in laws bought it for me some time ago, they must have known that i was going to be a stress head ](*,)

GREAT BIG THANKS AGAIN - DI O:)

Dianna - I'm so sorry you're worried, but I'm sure that's normal!

I have worried (although I'm trying not to do it much!) at just about every step so far, especially when I hear of everyone else who's had u/s and the like, and I'm still waiting for my first at 12 wks (next week). I have had a couple of friends who m/c, one who didn't lose the baby until 11 weeks, but they think it died at 9, given the size. I'm trying my hardest not to compare myself to them - but every time I pass one of their dates I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

Problems with the baby aren't concerning me as much as problems with me and the pg in general. Maybe I'll be up to that next! I think part of my concern might be related to the fact I feel completely alone as far as medical assistance is up to this point. Given my lack of problems and symptoms it seems silly to be bothering my GP and the OB doesn't see my for another week. If it wasn't for BellyBelly I don't know what I'd do!

Hi there Jennifer

Thanks for your words of wisdom - i suppose all i can say to you is stay positive and if it's meant to be it's meant to be.....

I'm trying to take this approach myself - high blood pressure and stress don't mix!!!

anyway stay calm, stay positive and stay happy - i'm sure our babies will thank us for it O:)

Dianna :D

hi dianna,

hope your anxiety is improving.

how did you go with the yoga?

i remember thinking before my 19 week scan that i wasnt even really pg at all!! i thought the tests must have been wrong and that i had just put on a bit of weight!! LOL, the US definately proved that wrong!!

Linda

Hi there Linda

I'm still feeling on edge a little but I feel like i have good reason too....

I've been diagnosed with Hypertension - however long story short the hospital is going to monitor it and next week I'm going to meet the professor of the Hypertension unit at St George Hospital who will make his diagnosis.

In the mean time I'm trying to stay cool, calm and collected - i have to admit this is not as easy as it's said.

I've started to do Yoga which i have to admit is FANTASTIC!!! - even if it means I fall asleep in between stretches - i walk out of there floating.

Pregnancy is definitely a test on your patience I must admit and given that I'm not the most patient person this is quite a struggle.

Oh well I'm sure I'm not the only looney preggo woman out there....i just seem to think about it more than most or atleast complain about it more.

Hopefully by this time next week I'll have good U/S results and I'll be an hour away from meeting the specialist - who will give me great news and send me home feeling relieved - that's what i keep telling myself - until then I'm doing deep breathing exercises 8-[

thanks for asking by the way :D

dianna

dianna, glad to hear you only have a week until your U/S (although im sure it will be the longest week of your life!!)

sorry to hear about the hypertension, it sounds like the yoga is helping tremendously though, thats great. LOL about falling asleep between stretches.

try to keep your mind busy to make the time go faster!!

looking forward to hearing how you go next week...

Linda