Found it REAL hard

On the weekend we went to a 1st Birthday.
Our little bubba was having a great time....then some little boy was starting to fuss so his Mummy wraped him...and I mean really tight with arms pin'd at the sides and put him in his plastic car seat with a blanket over it...rocked heck out of it while he screamed to sleep.
Our little Monkey was not happy and keep on wanting to pull the blanket off.
My DH was very uncomfortable and wanted to run over and pick the poor little thing up.
I was holding another baby at the time and as its so natural now rocked her off to sleep...my friend (baby's Mum) was very suprised.
Feel so sad :(:cry: that we feel that this is ok

i wrap nix really tight and arms pinned down... its the only way he settles ...
but he is 10mths and a major wriggler and wont sleep with out it ...

what did you find real hard ? the fact that a mum let her baby cry to sleep??
how old was the baby ??

maybe its the only way she knew , maybe if you want tell her about rocking or calming her bub to sleep ...

Yep, I'm a wrapper too - arms firmly affixed to his side. Daniel just won't sleep otherwise. Although the screaming to sleep would be a bit upsetting - but maybe that's the only way he'll go to sleep.

The mother could possibly just not know any other way. Who knows.

Ara's Mum that would really upset me too. I know there are different ways of doing things but I personally would not want to be wrapped so tight so wouldnt do it to my babies either.

Jo

I have to agree Jo. But it was the sleeping in the car carrier that was worrying me. I don't get it... the baby wouldn't be able to be wrapped tightly in the car seat when it was in the car... most babies fall asleep in the car...

I think I'd be tempted to ask the mum if she has ever tried settling her baby in a sling too.

How old was this baby?

I can understand how you could find it hard, 'cause it's never easy to listen to a bub cry really hard.

There may have been a method in her madness, I know when I go into my work to visit it is really hot and xavier doesn't like it so he cry's and people try to give me all sorts of advice, I keep telling them no, he's just hot, and sure enough as soon as I leave he quietens right down.
So I guess I'm saying I'd probably refrain from giving advice unless she asked for it.

All that said, Xavier hates being wraped up, must be a control freak like his mum!! only time we can wrap him up is when he is so asleep already that he is floppy :lol:
He like his arms out!!

I remember my friend visiting me in the birthing unit and wraping our bubba up and we both had feelings and being REALLY unhappy about it...but then I started wrapping for a while.
The feelings I had while doing it to our baby were...You are going to sleep!!!
I was a bit angry...was not educated back then....the anger.

No my worry was the very fast rocking of the car seat...it was a bit scary.
I'm a quiet sort of person but I really think I need to start talking out.
How would you start talking to some woman who obviously feels that she is .... well its her baby... how do you start without offending?

I understand it may be difficult to say something without it being offensive. Before being a mum myself I would never say anything as it's not my child. Now that I'm a mother I understand even more now, as I would not like anyone to tell me how I should be with my baby. My BIL came over with his then 3 month old and I touched him and he was boiling under all the covers in his capsule.I wanted to rip all the covers off him but had to leave him as it's not my place. So how would you not be offensive I don't know?? It's a tough one.

I'm still wrapping my little one as he arrived early and is really only a week old corrected, but I now leave his legs more free as he likes to stretch and I just keep his sholders wrapped snug with his hands by his face.

No doubt the bubba just wanted to be held and to be part of the gathering like everyone else.

I guess when i see someone doing something like this, which isn't how i'd do it, but equally isn't abusive, i take a deep breath and practice tolerance. I don't feel it's my place to say anything - if the mum said in exasperation "What's wrong with you/him!?" i'd venture maybe he didn't want to be wrapped or maybe she could rock him in her arms, but to be honest i have babysat kids who, having NEVER been rocked to sleep, CANNOT go to sleep when they're held. They're just not used to it, they NEED to be in their capsule/cot/rocker because it's what they know. Familiarity, even of something other than mum/dad's arms is still comforting afterall. And really, tolerance is a good thing for DD to learn so i tell myself i can lead her by example. Live and let live.

I wrapped DD until she was old enough to unwrap herself and started to do so frequently. She found it very comforting for at least 4 months. I used a kari-me wrap in the day which i always tied quite tight so i expect for her the womb/carrier/swaddling was part of the same continuity. I wrapped her to feed and at bedtime, even when we co-slept. To be honest i've never read a parenting book (well, once Dr Spock for a laugh!) so i don't know all the arguements for or against it, only that it worked for us.

Bx