I should be pregnant by now!!

Hi girls,

I'm 26 and in month 6 of ttc. Would it be ridiculously early to do some preliminary tests with the GP? My cycle is 30-36 days and we DTD every 2nd day for 2 weeks so we definitely don't miss the golden window of opportunity. I should be pregnant by now!! Last month we tried DTD first thing in the mornings. Still BFN! My spirits are not too bad for the 2 weeks we are trying- I'm normally pretty optimistic but then I take it pretty bad when AF comes knocking on my door. Any words of wisdom would be great. Unless of course they are "Just relax and then you'll magically fall pregnant" !!! Well I'm not gonna relax am I cause I REALLY want to get knocked up!! Ah, that feels better I've had a bit of a rant, but seriously any advice would be much appreciated.

If you feel it is right do the tests with the GP. I know how strong the mum to be desire can be. It is better to know what you can do if you need to do something. Good luck on your journey and sending positive wishes your way

Personally I think 6 mths of consciously trying should be long enough - meaning, trying with an awareness of your window of opportunity. I would approach your GP. I don't agree with the 12 mths of TTC before any tests are run - but good luck with running that past your GP.

Having said that, I have a good friend who had been TTC for 12 mths and found out she was pregnant the day before her appointment with a fertility specialist - so anything's possible. However, in her case, she had quite irregular cycles and, with hindsight, beleives she may have had a few early miscarriages during that time. In any event, I still don't believe that you should have to wait 12mths. If everything appears 'normal' and 'regular' 6mths is, to me, long enough.

Hope that gives you some courage :)

:hug: Even though 6 month seem like ages when you're TTC it's still within what is considered a normal time. I think that usually a GP wants you to wait 1 year before they will refer you to a specialist unless you have any underlying/pre-existing reasons/conditions.
Have you been charting? If not it might be worth starting - just so that you can establish that you're ovulating and also it will give your GP an idea of your cycles and be usefull in any further investigations.

Sorry to tell you hun but 95% of doctors will not do any preliminary fertility testing before 12 months actively TTC, especially given your age. The reason being that by 12months something like 60% of couples have fallen pregnant. I know six months seems like a dreadfully long time and you can't possibly imagine having to wait out yet another 6 months before testing, I've been there ;)

The best thing to do is to try not to let it dominate you're entire life. Try to do things that are fun with your DH in between times to take your mind off it. No I'm not telling you to relax & it will happen, because that's just a joke IMO, just that making sure you're enjoying life at the same time as TTC will help the time to go faster.

Are you temping at all, using OPKs, or anything like that? It might help you to pin down if there are any issues & if you spot something significant you can take your charts to the Dr to give you a head start if that time comes.

All the best hun, I know it's a tough road.

You could always tell your GP it has been near enough 12 months of TTC. I'm not advocating dishonesty but I know how it feels for these things to take their time when you want it so badly!
By the time you get your referrals, get into a specialist etc it may be getting close to the 12 months anyway! I agree with the others though that charting, OPK's etc are well worth the effort if you haven't tried them yet. Unfortunately I believe for some of us the whole TTC is a numbers game & we just have to keep plodding along until ours come up! That said do what makes you happy & wishing you a speedy BFP with no intervention necessary!

Sorry mummyto1, but I have to disagree with you on the stretching the truth to the doctor part. The way I see it is that if there is someone else that has legitimately been trying for 12 months or more wanting to get a place with a specialist, who am I to go in at 6 months & possibly bypass them IYKWIM. Sure go & see the Dr & tell them how long you've been trying & if they want to do testing all well & good but I don't think it's a good idea to exaggerate the time. JMHO.

I have to agree with Sarah. While it probably seems like forever, the truth is most women don't fall pregnant straight away, and it is normal to take up to 12 months to fall, without having one shred of fertility problems. At your age, you will be lucky if any Dr will start investigations, as you really haven't given nature enough time to take it's course. And as for telling that little white lie, you will find that to get to the point of seeing a specialist even, you would probably have to demonstrate a fairly good knowledge of your ovulation patterns, your cycles and the way your body works. If you haven't used OPKs yet or tried temping, I would give that a go. You will probably find that even if you did get all the way to see a specialist, they would go slow and, unless they found something seriously wrong, like blocked tubes, they would likely suggest timed intercourse anyway (which is what you're doing now, but without the cost!)

I agree with Sarah also, waiting lists for specialists can be frustrating and jumping the queue as you would be doing by stretching the truth of your TTC time would not be fair to those who have been trying for 12 months.

Sometimes it can take a bit longer than you expected. I have a friend who fell straight away the first time but this time she is into her 6 month trying, she has no problems, they just haven't managed to catch that egg yet! Like Sushee said if you haven't try temping & using OPK's.

I know it can be very hard when all you want to be is pregnant, I hope you don't have to wait too much longer.

Thanks for your replies. It definitely feels good to share! especially with people who've been through the same sort of thing. I tried doing the OPK thing for the first time last cycle. Tested for 9 days. Got a faint line in varying shades every day. On day 18 the line was darker but still not as dark as the control. I will keep doing the OPK and start charting temps aswell. I am going to go to the GP anyway and just have a chat. I don't think there will be any stretching of the truth though! Believe it or not, that was also my Mum's suggestion! Anyway, thanks so much for your input. It helps a lot.

Most couples will be pregnant within 12 months so I think you'll find at your age your doctor will not interfere anyway. My GP was reluctant to start investigations after 9 months of trying and 1 early m/c and I was 40 at the time. I switched GP's and she started the ball rolling.

I would not recommend getting testing yet. If you think it's stressful ttcing now, it's far worse once you start the whole investigation process, so leave that until you need it after 12 months. Hopefully you won't need it though.

hi, huge hugs to you, i have absolutely no words of wisdom or advice. We tried everything there is to try plus more for 13 months. then our we got an appointment for fertility investigations so we gave up trying til we had tests. We DTD once in a whole month then 2 weeks before our fertility appointment i got a positive pg test!! The only advice that ever worked for me was "relax and it will happen". i hated hearing that and i know there is absolutely NO WAY you can relax while ttc.

Goodluck and i really do hope that you are pg very soon

I can advocate falling asleep after DTD, gives the swimmers a bit more of a chance to swim "downstream" IYKWIM? Also try pre-seed (lullaby Conceptions) as you may just have slightly hostile Cm. If that is the case, you have such a tiny window where CM is ok for the swimmers that if you DTD the day before or even two days before, it kills all the swimmers so it has to be the day OF O. Pre-seed encourages a more sperm friendly cm and actually nourishes the swimmers so.... I also don't agree with stretching the truth to Dr. It takes time to fall pg. I wish you all the best honey.... Look into diet changes (to change the cm acidity etc). Goodluck

All I can say is there are so many variables as to why TTC can be challenging, and sometimes it can take a while to rule any of them out, and sometimes it just takes time full stop.
Unfortunately there is no easy way to handle the wanting except as Sarah said, to try and focus on life as well and remember not to put anything on hold while you wait for the bub to come along. Thats the only advice I am prepared to share with regards to trying to handle the waiting part :)
Good luck with GP.

I feel a bit hypocritical posting here as I managed to get a bfp in my first month...so I apologise for getting on a soap box...I just wanted to tell you a story I had heard that MIGHT solve your problem.


Have you been using an OPK?

I was talking to a friend of ours when I started trying, and she was saying that they'd been doing basically exactly what you have been doing (BD every 2 days for 2 weeks basically between day 10 and day 24), then she got a bulk pack of the pee on a stick style OPK and it turned out that they would never conceive the way they were going because she actually O'd on day 6....so all the BD in that other 2 week block would make no difference.

The next month (after their new O date discovery) they BD around the RIGHT time...and fall pregnant straight away.



oh and again, sorry about the soap box since I'm not in that position, but I would also feel awful if I'd been trying for over 12 months, and someone who had only been trying for 6 managed to get into a specialist before me...it would be devastating. Again, I apologise for sounding all righteous and so on, as I am one of the lucky ones...

Just thought my little tale could help you out...you can buy OPK on ebay that have 20 OP sticks and 5 PG tests...that way you can test for O nearly every day (except when you have AF...)

Good luck everyone!!!