Hehehe....

I saw this on a midwifery list and cracked up, some of you will find it funny anyway :D

Doctor Dystocia

Definition: When a private obstetrician walks into the room and the baby can no longer fit through the pelvis.

PMSL ROFLMAO!

Classic, very good!

*hugs*
Cailin

Ha ha...........I am going to quote this to my OB at my six week check!!

LOL..oh dear poor OBs..;)

PMSL.... thays a good one.

That's what my private Ob said after he delivered Amy by caesarean.

What do you mean Gemma, he said that your pelvis was too small? I had better mention that I'm not bagging your Ob or any Ob, just having a joke with those who have been around birth a fair bit. No offence intended. Obstetricians are very important to the birthing process when it comes to managing complications and they do great work in those situations. That's what they are trained for.

The above comment in the midwifery threads came with the following comments:

"Well that's what I feel after spending a shift in one of Adelaide's 'best' private hospitals over the weekend. Their stats for the last 12 mths confirmed this, around a 50 to 55% caesarean rate every month and shockingly 35% of the women left had either ventouse or forceps! Can someone please tell me why this is hapening? Lots of epidurals? Are the doctors in a hurry?

No wonder ranzcog think childbirth is dangerous, in some places it really is! Time to do some media on the safety of obstetric care?! Absolutely!
I know that I'm preaching to the converted, buy I'm horrified that so many women think that this is the best care available."

I have heard from MANY experienced midwives and birth attendants that CPD or 'pelvis too small' is very misdiagnosed and often you will hear of women birthing perfectly normally after being told they have a small pelvis - our bodies have been made to have babies. The best chance you would have of a small pelvis would likely be from an accident to the pelvic region where the bones have healed incorrectly.

There are plenty of reasons why babies wont come as freely as others.

1. Position. They may be in a sticky position and sometimes the mother getting into a good position can actually rectify this. Midwives can often suggest good positions to try and move the baby.

2. Mother's Position. Birthing on the bed on your back or reclining is least optimal for the baby. Forward leaning or squatting provides most optimal positions. Epidurals can also lead to ineffective pushing.

3. Stress. When the mother is stressed or frightened she produces adrenaline which stops or slows oxytocin. This is a very powerful effect. Have heard many cases where a mum's labour stopped at second stage and it wasn't until they got into theatre when baby shot out. It's amazing what flight or fight reflexes come into play in birth. Very interesting.

4. Tension in the birthing room. See above.

Again, not bagging anything, was intended as a joke initially, but as you can see, it's very easy for labour to slow or stall, I think the BRAN (benefits, risks, alternatives, now?) is a great thing to remember in labour when intervention is being suggested as you will cover all bases. This is why an experienced birth support person can be so useful to mums in labour, especially first time mums.

According to ten studies from around the world where an experienced birth support person was present:

* The use of pain relief was reduced by 31%
* The use of oxytocin to stimulate labour was reduced by 50%
* Forceps reduced by 34%
* Caesareans reduced by 45%

That's very interesting statistics, especially for them all to come up with the same results.

Interesting Kelly.

Actually I was agreeing with the joke because it happened to me. Amy had cord around neck and was in distress (see birth stoty) so was having a c/s anyway. When he mentioned that she wouldn't fit a few days later I didn't think much of it and accepted it without giving it a second thought. My pelvis was injured an a car accident in high school but I doubt that would have made a defference.

Yes it's amazing how many of us aren't apparently born with big enough pelvis' to birth our babies. ;)

With the pelvis damage, I think it's more along the lines of a break. That's no good you had a car accident though. I had one when I was 19 I think, a bad whiplash injury which gives me grief when pregnant. Do you find it would play up for you when pregnant too? Yucky stuff.

LOL at the Mack Truck!

I had quite bad pubic pain and I think it was SPD during pg and it has stopped now which is good. I never thought whiplash would be painful in pg, hope it was not too bad.

Whiplash injuries do a great deal of tissue and ligament damage unfortunately and extra weight is a real killer - especially with lots of relaxin when pregnant, the ligaments relax even more so you feel very unsupported and in pain.

I had the typical ligament damage and there was lots of spasm between my neck vertebrae and sacro-iliac joints which affected the alignment of my cervical spine. Unless my back and neck is super strong then I get lots of referred pain and headaches, jawache (two of my front teeth were smashed so I have caps). I am too scared to see a chiro, I hate having my back cracked. 8-[

The driver of the car I was in went through a red light and I copped a ute who hit my side. It was the second accident I have had as a passenger so I am now the world's worst back seat driver LOL!