feeling cheated

The words of the doctors still echo in my head, "there is no medical reason as to why this Ectopic Pregnancy occured." Mind you, people are hinting that, since this is baby number 3 and you already have a beautiful boy and girl, well, perhaps this is now the time to stop.

The internal bleeding started at my Year 11's Presentation Ball, mid-cycle bleeding they said. The irony was, I didnt know I was pregnant until they had to perform an emergency operation 48 hours later, as the tube had ruptured and pelvic bleeding was occuring.

No one said anything about 'pathology' or pulling my baby to pieces to 'examine' for causes. No one told me what the hospital will do with the remains, how they 'thoughtfully dispose' of the 'remains'.

What happens when there is nothing to blame? When your ovaries are ok, and your tubes were free of clots, and you didnt have an STI. What, do you get angry at?

Thanks for taking the time to listen to me vent. I do appreciate it. One who teaches our youth to find the answers, this one doesnt have one.

Kindest regards

Teaching Mum

so sorry teaching mum, and the time to stop is when you and your dh want to stop.

Hi Teaching Mum

Sorry to hear that you lost your angel.

I know how it feels to have everyone telling you that you have 2 beautiful children (girl & boy) you don't need any more. It really rubs me up the wrong way (to say the least) :angry:

It is totaly up to you and your DH to make that decision.

Sending Big hugs :hug:

Take care
Chris

Thanks guys, everyone on here has been sensational. Hugs to you all

I can not sympathise with how you feel, because I have never been in your position, I can however send you big hugs, a cyber shoulder to cry on and vent to and all the very best of luck for your future ttc efforts no matter when they may be. You will always have someone to share with on this site and writing down your feeling is part of the healing.

Teaching Mum I'm so sorry for your loss, and for not being given the answers to your questions. I'm glad you made your way to this site, and I hope the BB community can support you through your time of healing. All the best to you and your partner in whatever you decide to do in the future. :hug:

I am sorry for your loss. A dear friend of mine also had an ectopic pregnancy (no reason for this was found)and her very next pregnancy was a success..... that child is now 8.

Hi teaching mum. I somewhat understand what you're feeling. In June this year I had my second miscarriage, and have only just now gotten the rest results. (Don't get me started on public healthcare). The results said they found evidence of inflammation, and a couple of other things, but they could find no evidence of why. I've been sent for a full round of blood tests now, and I find myself wishing it had been an STI, or that one glass of wine before I knew I was pregnant, or anything that I could prevent next time around. Just so I knew.

It's difficult when they just can't give you any answers. To move on, you need to be able to see how and why things happen, and in cases like this, it seems almost impossible sometimes. Take care.

Lisa xx

TM I too have never been in your position but we would like 3 children and no amount of people telling me I already had two children would make me feel better about the loss of my third (that said I am keeping my fingers crossed we will be som blessed, as # 2 is still on the way). Hugs to you :(

Thankyou to all. I had a chat with the Rev. today who is also our school chaplain. She commented on the service that I had written with all the heartbreaking poems and the beautiful songs and she started crying! Sometimes i think you dont have to have your heart to break to understand how someone feels. So I thankyou.

Dear Teaching Mum

I am very very sorry for your loss. I don't know if anything anyone can say can help you but I was moved to post here for the first time ever when I read your post.

I am in the identical position having recently suffered an ectopic pregnancy with what would have been our third (we already lost one to miscarriage earlier this year) but have a girl and a boy too. We have had lots of people telling us to be happy with what we have got..(mostly family) I have tried to explain that we wanted our third just as much as we wanted our other two...but sometimes I fell like I am being greedy. I do feel very lucky to have my wonderful two and my heart breaks for people who do not have this comfort but it still hurts very badly for us mums of 2 too...

Anyway I did not mean to talk about me so much. Just to say to you that my anger has begun to subside (its been two and half weeks) so hopefully it will soon for you too. It is so hard when no reason can be given.

All my support to you. Hope you feel a bit better soon