New age stuff

We have three older children, two teenagers and an almost 11 year old. They are the biggest problems right now as they have the most horrid artitude and expect everyhting for nothing. We never got sucked intot he "we need a mobile thing" here and none of them have a mobile phone. I do not teach my children that they "Need" to have these sorts of things, as we all survived perfectly well without them before they were invented. They have a computer between five kids and they are only allowed a certian amount of time on it each, that goes for the play station as well and tv. I dont encourage them to sit on their brains I would rather them get out and enjoy life and nature and take in fresh air, so we are very much out doors kind of people. I try to encourage them to stay intouch with nature and keep fit and healthy because as we age, health really has to be worked hard at, but if you are healthy enough to begin with its not a struggle later on.


Anyway, about the mobile, does your child/ren have one? If so why? Do you feel they are a must? Do you think that they are nessasary? Who pays the bills? Do you think mobiles are more for a luxury than a real need?


I aks because my 15 year old daughter is fighting me for one. But my other daughter said she doesn't want one as she wants us to sponsor a child, which I think its worth the money not a bloody mobile phone. So there is argumenrs all round at the moment. My 15 year old cries and throws wollies that everyone else has one, and then tries to put that guilt on me abut "what if I am in danger I could phone you" well that dont work on me because we got on fine without them before they came along and she inst allowed out to places that she would be in danger anyways. Or after dark.


But i wnated to know what you all do with this?


I personally am very proud that my 10 year old would rather give her pocket money up for a another child than to put herself first, so am swaying that we should all sponsor, but my 15 year old says its making her look bad to her frineds not having one. Although my 15 year old it s a sweet kid, she don't swear, she dont go out to parties and so on, but she is demanding when she really wants something.


Who's kids have a mobile and why?

I got my first mobile at 17 when I got my Ps, basically because I had the freedom to be out driving & my parents wanted to make sure I could contact them should anything happen while I was out. I was the first at my school to have one, a bit different to now!! My parents paid the bills, but I was very responsible with it, only making calls in an absolute emergency which meant never LOL! I think the difference there was that there were no others with mobiles at the time so it wasn't a great concern with how much I'd spend on it anyway.

We're not anywhere near that stage yet, but just wanted to say this was when I got mine & what the deal was.

Hi Soul

While my little ones are way too little for a mobile phone I say good on you for not allowing your daughter to have a mobile phone.

From what I see on the news about how some teenagers use them I am swaying to not allow them for my kids.

I will be 30 next week and when I was a teenager I was given coins by my mum and was told to use them if I needed to get into contact with her.I would call my friends from the home phone.

I know that we live in a different society to when I was 15 yrs old but in hindsight I really don't think they are a nessecity(sp?)

My only concern when Zander is bigger, with regards to giving them coins, is that you can never find a pay phone. In any of the places he'd be going on his own at say 15+ (cinema, shopping centre etc) there are no pay phones whatsoever. I'm not sure if this is a common thing or just in my area though.

I'm the same as Sarah. I got my first one when I got my P's (back in 1996) but I had to pay for it myself and pay all the bills (which rarely exceeded $20 a month as I was very responsible with it too).

I know it is very different these days but I really dont think any child under 16 needs to own a phone. I catch the train to and from work and the number of kids (some only in primary school) who sit on the phone from the time I get on the train to the time I get off the train, is ridiculous. I often wonder who pays the bills.

Good on you for sticking to your guns ............

OMG NO PAY PHONES !!!!!!!!! IN SHOPPING MALL, THAT IS RIDICULOUS!


Its interesting because we have way more murders, rapes and so forth nowadays and yet we have mobiles! So obvioulsy a mobile is not going to stop that. I think they are ok for if your stuck you need a pick up, but I do not let my kids anywhere that they could not use a pay phone or are likley to get stuck out in the middle of no where. And we got along just fine without them before. Just because we are on a new age dont mean they "HAVE" to have the latest gadgets. I think its how you raise a child is how they too will see things. Yep there is peer pressure, and every generation has had it, but I dont think I should give in just because of that, I want to teach her to be a strong individual . My son is turning 17 and he is nothging like the girls, he is so layed back, he goes to tafe full time as he wants to become a health and fitness trainer, and he dont give s toss what others think of him, as in peer pressure, the girls let it get to them way more. Although my 10 yearold is like my son she is you either like me or you dont!


Anyway, mobiles, hmmmmmmmm !

These kids live in mobile-phone saturated environments, and I'm sure if your DD really *needed* a phone there would be someone with one she could use!

I'm not really a luddite, but I do remember a time (not too long ago) where we all coped fine, planned ahead and thought on our feet - without instant access to telecommunications. However the thing about these young ones is they've never known a world without them, and a lot of social networking happens via mobiles and online. I suspect this is the real reason your DD wants one, so as not to be out of the loop.

*Sigh* this is all ahead of me, all I can suggest is negotiate negotiate negotiate. Perhaps if the issue won't go away, you can make a contract that she has to work towards and the reward (after a suitable amount of time and EFFORT) could be a mobile with a limited plan.

I had to use a public phone in a shopping centre the other day.There are several in the shopping centre near me.

I know they are not so common now as mobile phones are so popular and the cost of repairing them after they have been vandalised is too great.

Its a real toughie isnt it balancing it all out. For the most part im very proud of my kids. They have wonderful healthyinquisitive minds, are kind, caring and nurturing and have been raised in our spiritual household with the idea that what you give out is what you get back. They are shocked and horrified at lots of brutality that goes on in the world...they dont eat meat, they actively try to participate in contributing to Care.org, Greenpeace and WSPCA. Emmy wants to grow up and protect animals, Olivia wants to be a teacher and Jess isnt sure just yet...yet they do live in this world..i cant remove them from that. My two dds got their mobile phones when they turned 11. Emmy doesnt really use hers, for Jess though..(thanks to telstra 1 cent texts!) its a lifeline, no different to me using the phone at her age! Naturally it comes with responsibility. The children earn their own pocket money from the chores that they do around the house. Jess does quite alot so receives $60 a month..from this she may pay for her recharge cards.

So I hear ya Soul...15 and 10 are very different ages though, and its quite likely that your 15 would be in the minority not having her own mobile. Its hard wanting whats right for out kids when they world is changing so quickly. All we can do is try the best that we can.

Jo

LMAO Paris knows that as soon as she starts high school she can have a mobile phone... yes I've already been asked. But it will be prepaid and she will have a max of $30 (or the equivelant) per 2-3 months unless she wants it topped up herself, but there will be strict rules she cannot use say the last $10 unless she is prepared to cough up the cash for the next recharge as it will be mostly for emergencies. For me its purely peace of mind. I would like to know I can always contact my daughter and that should she need to she can always contact me. Also the high school she is going to will not be close.

I know we are strange but its just how we feel about it.

BUT if we didn't feel that way I'd want my kids to respect that, Paris wont be allowed to have a TV in her room till she's finished school. Sounds harsh but I would rather that she doesn't isolate herself in her room when going through those "emotional years" and I'm sure there will be tantrums and fights but I'm prepared for that.

*hugs*
Cailin

JO my children have grown up in a spiritual household as well. But there are times they act like a teenager of today lol, and want the things others have got. I watch her frineds with their mobiles and its bloody ridicluous, they spend there whole time on the phone or texting, its riduculous really. They are just another distratcion from kids sitting around and not geting outside and finding something to do.

So r they really a nessasary? Or r they for fashion?

Cailin see thats the thing, I kow my children dont go anywhere that I would have to worry about them, after all they are still kids so they only go where I say so, but I would not let them go off in someones car and travel to hell knows where to be worried about them that they would have to have a mobile.


I think its more for fashion these days than for neediness. I dunno

Soul I definately dont think they are necessary. I mean food, water, shelter and clothing are necessary, Im sure my dd will tell me its necessary though. Teenagers love and thrive in the connection of their friends...this is just one of the ways they do it. I like the suggestion of bargaining..is that something to consider

Jo

Hm I guess there are so many things she wants and I just pick what things are more important. I lived for my friends too but I also had to make family time, if she has a mobile she will put them first and formost and I think family comes first. Plus if she has a mobile I "KNOW" she will be having this guy and that guy ringing her all the time, and in no way in hell am I going to encourage that since there is this thing lmao called peer pressure! She already has a mile of them sniffing around without giving her even more access to more problems.


Oh I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haven't read all the previous posts yet but briefly: my DD has had a mobile phone ever since she was in grade 4, 9yo I think. At this time she started to walk to school by herself and I wanted her to have one. She still has one but never calls her friends on it. She is very responsible and makes a $20 prepaid account last for 6 months so that's $40 per year. She mainly calls me to tell me if she has after school event like athletics training (if she forgot to tell me that morning). It's me usually calling her. Anyhow, because i don't drive i feel this is more necessary i guess. Oh and if she abused my trust and wasted the calls then i guess she would have to make do (and use pay phones) but she is pretty keen not to do this. She drives me nuts in some regards but i am very proud of her regarding her responsible phone use... oh and she is now 12 so she has had one for 4 years now.

Bath thats wonderful to hear as that is how I would hope Paris would be too! And I also wouldn't hesitate in confiscating it if it were be misused.

*hugs*
Cailin

Mmmmm 12 is a big diff from 15 though . I see her friends sititng and using mobile and a guy will come up and say 'can I borrow ya phone for a sec" she batters her eye lids and hands him the phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What girl can resist the high school spunk! And be left with the bills, otr the parents. Or they get stolen, lost, pain in the rear.

Your so lucky your child is young and is sooooo responsabil, myn is too but I still dont trust a teenage girl when there are boys about lmao.

You know that is what scares me about walking to school on there own, a mobile phone is not going to save them if a paediphile comes along and takes them, grabs her mobile, what is she to do then, how is it useful then?


K, I really sound like I am totally against them ha?>


Mamma worry wart here!

I am loathe to let my kids have one until they are old enough to pay for it themselves, but considering where we live, once they have their licence it would give me peace of mind kwim? I would only ever let them have a prepaid one though and if they use all the credit too quickly then it's gone - simple as that.

Her argument to you is so she can call you if she needs help - well they have phones that are designed to only let them call home - so not a phone as such but a pager type thing. I know how hard it must be when like Marydean said, it's all they've ever known, but if you think it will cause more problems than it will solve with the boy situation, tell her it's conditional - she can only have it when out, never at home and never at school or something like that.

Re the talk about the payphones - out here Telstra are actually removing all the payphones in West Wyalong and Temora townships and the ones they do have con't accept coins - only phone cards.