What can your 4-5year old do

Hi as some of you may know we are currently jumping through the hoops to get my 4 and a half year old DS assessed for possibly aspergers syndrome but I was just wanting other parents input as to what your 4-5 yr old can do. Obviously there are some behaviours that I know are related to the aspergers but I don't want to mention something to the paed that is normal 4-5yo behaviour and look like an idiot.

1. Whats your child like with playing pretend?
2. Does your child play games like soccer, catch, cricket with you?
3. Does your child put their new clothes on top of their old ones unless you remind them explicitly to take off the old clothes?
4. Does your child like drawing? What do they draw? Can you recognise it? What is their grip like?
5. Has your child ever said they don't like someone because of what there voice sounds like?
6. Does your child talk non-stop during the day (and I mena barely pausing to take a breath) What do they talk about? Is it varied or is it mainly just on one subject?
OK I have more but DD is cracking up, love to hear your responses

1. Whats your child like with playing pretend? My nearly 5yo DD loves playing pretend and is very imaginative and creative in the games she plays with her toys and brother and sister. She also likes role playing games. She can tend to be a bit day-dreamy at times too.
2. Does your child play games like soccer, catch, cricket with you? She will play soccer outside with her brother and sister and play in the sandpit etc, or just ride her bike. ATM I can't really get out and play with them much.
3. Does your child put their new clothes on top of their old ones unless you remind them explicitly to take off the old clothes? No, she always takes her clothes off before putting new ones on.
4. Does your child like drawing? What do they draw? Can you recognise it? What is their grip like? She loves drawing and draws a range of things, people, animals, buildings, scenes from stories she likes or movies and they are recognisable. Her grip would be OK, probably nt perfect, but the same as any other kid her age I suppose
5. Has your child ever said they don't like someone because of what there voice sounds like? No, not really. She knows who she does and doesn't like though, but that's not based on their tone of voice at all, but is a combination of things. she is also quite intuitive around people too and can tell by tone of voices if someone is happy/sad etc.
6. Does your child talk non-stop during the day (and I mena barely pausing to take a breath) What do they talk about? Is it varied or is it mainly just on one subject? She is the queen of chatter LOL. She could talk underwater with a mouth full of marbles and about anything, not limited to one subject. She just talks about whatever pops into her head or she will ask questions about things.

Hi Saram,

My son is 4 and a half, and re your questions:
1) Chats away to himself; talks about imaginary friends who are part of his "work" environment. Likes pretend play such as gardening, tools, firemen, cooking etc
2) Likes playing soccer and with a cricket set; only just starting to get the idea of playing sport with others
3) Not really; I usually help him get dressed still
4) doesn't particularly like drawing; drawings are not recognisable - scribbles; curves; lines. Has a good grip and holds pen correctly.
5) No
6) Yes, loves chatting, often in endless sentences and sometimes repetitive, but frequently changes topics

Sarah I will be watching this with interest as I've been told to have Mason see a paediatrition by the kinder field officer to see if he has mild aspergers.
Is the list part of the questionnaire or assessment you have been given?

Mason is almost 6 but I'll try and remember back to when he was 4 for my answers as he has improved quite a bit.

1. Whats your child like with playing pretend? There was no pretend with him but there was lots of repetitive play with trains or cars
2. Does your child play games like soccer, catch, cricket with you? Yes
3. Does your child put their new clothes on top of their old ones unless you remind them explicitly to take off the old clothes? No but it can be a fight to get him to even wear cloths some days.
4. Does your child like drawing? What do they draw? Can you recognise it? What is their grip like? Squiggles, grip was stab like with the pen. Now he has developed a more proper grip on the pen. I couldn't make out the drawings but ask him to tell me all about it and he is was very descriptive.
5. Has your child ever said they don't like someone because of what there voice sounds like? He won't say if he doesn't like someone but will run and hide.
6. Does your child talk non-stop during the day (and I mena barely pausing to take a breath) What do they talk about? Is it varied or is it mainly just on one subject? When he's in a talkative mood will prattle on non stop about everything especailly what he makes from his lego.

A few more things to add:

Barely spoke a word till he was 2 1/2 but was big on animal sounds. Obsessed with numbers and letters and had his own language for them.

Would run around in circles chanting not making eye contact duing this time. He still doesn't like to make eye contact a lot of the time.

Toileting. Big issue here. Wasn't TT for wee till 3 1/2 and poo till 4. Still wets at night and during the day will refuse to wee when told even if he is holding on or jiggling.

Cannot cope with change of routine. If they move the room about at kinder he will hide under the table for most of the session. If the teacher reads a story he hasn't heard before he will lay under her chair. If it's one he has heard before he will recite the words.
If the teacher is away or the kids are more rowdy for some reason he can't cope with that either and will hide under the table.
If he has a bad day at kinder then getting him to go to the next session is pure HELL.

Just in case I get it wrong I'll say that I am learning about this ATM so apologies if my description isn't right.

Caro, Aspergers is a disorder that affects social interaction. There is a wide spectrum and many varying degrees. Autism is also on the spectrum. You may have heard of the term "Autism Spectrum Disorder".

I am waiting on an interview with the local field officer who has assessed Mason once. There needs to be a few assessments to be sure that he hasn't been seen on either a good or bad day so she can see his behaviours on different occasions. She does want him to see a paed but once she has had chance to make a more detailed report on him. As you can imagine I'm a bit hesitant as I don't want him to be labeled unnecessarily as you said it could be quirkiness. It's interesting seeing how different he is to other kids. He's just not wired the same as them and as his younger brothers grow up it is becoming more noticeable to us.

Hi Sarah

I have an almost 5 yr old son, and a 6 yr old daughter who does have a speech language delay, so I'll try to answer for both :)

1. Whats your child like with playing pretend? Both love playing pretend, they do different voices and put themselves in different scenarios.
2. Does your child play games like soccer, catch, cricket with you? Yes. Sometimes - she's not really interested and would rather play other games with me instead of "sporty" ones.
3. Does your child put their new clothes on top of their old ones unless you remind them explicitly to take off the old clothes? No. Zeke dresses himself properly. Gabrielle still sometimes puts things on back to front and can't be bothered turning them around. She still struggles with buttons.
4. Does your child like drawing? What do they draw? Can you recognise it? What is their grip like? Zeke loves to draw.... anything and everything. He drew a hole the other day. I can usually recognise it, he uses correct grip most of the time. Gabrielle is only starting to enjoy drawing. She just did random squiggles (even though they meant something to her) up until she was at least 5 and a half. I can now tell what she's trying to draw some of the time. She has correct pencil grip, and is only just starting to form letters by herself now.
5. Has your child ever said they don't like someone because of what there voice sounds like? no
6. Does your child talk non-stop during the day (and I mena barely pausing to take a breath) What do they talk about? Is it varied or is it mainly just on one subject? No. Zeke will talk when he feels like it and when there's a conversation to be had that interests him. Gabrielle only started talking in sentences when she was 4 and a half. She's still working on pronouns, tenses, order of prepositions etc now.

Hope that helps :) All the best.

Thanks so much for the input so far guys, I really appreciate it!

Sammi, if you like I can pm you the checklists they use for aspergers. These are just extra behavious DS has that I'm wondering are related or if it's just normal 4-5yr old behaviour

Sarah honey - I will get on here later and go into detail but email me ANYTIME! If you have any questions dont be affraid to ask..thats what were here for matie

Thanks Maz! I have met quite a few ladies on here that have been so helpful in working our way through this.

ok here's my go, I'll do 2 different colours one for when Wilhelm was 4 and now

1. Whats your child like with playing pretend?
Hates it....sits in his own little world and will repeativley watch the credits of movies
Pretends to be his friends now or plays make believe with toys ect...has totally come out of his shell

2. Does your child play games like soccer, catch, cricket with you?
Sits and stares blankly and if asked to join in he agressively says NO
Cant wait to kick the ball back or try and swing the bat, insisting its always his turn

3. Does your child put their new clothes on top of their old ones unless you remind them explicitly to take off the old clothes?
God I wish, WIlhelm would prefer to wear shorts and a t-shirt. Have had alot of trouble in winter...3 years of wears shorts and t-shirts in winter and im over it. Screams uncontrollably at me trying to suggest putting pants and a jumper on. WEars only ug boots..no sneakers
WOO HOO now wears pants and jumpers(only out side) and sneakers. Having trouble with a little man remembering to put jocks on though.

4. Does your child like drawing? What do they draw? Can you recognise it? What is their grip like?
Lots of squiggles and fist hold of pen, texture.
Hmm writes everything, fasinated by books (reading at 8 year old level) has just started to draw himself and other family members

5. Has your child ever said they don't like someone because of what there voice sounds like?
WOuld scream if we went to certains shops, holds ears and rocks uncontrollably along with screaming
Still doesnt like deep male voices and tells me when I tell him off that im hurting his ears while holding them...can atleast go shopping now

6. Does your child talk non-stop during the day (and I mena barely pausing to take a breath) What do they talk about? Is it varied or is it mainly just on one subject?
Everything was related to movie talk..yes talked non stop and god the headaches...it was his way of trying to start a conversation with me
Now when Wilhelm walks in a room he says hello IM WIlhelm BOurke and this is my friend my mum. There still is a bit of movie talk but only when he gets adgitated and totally out of his confort zone

Ive done alot of work with WIlhelm to get him to were he is today. Yes Ive cried my eye's out but I am so happy with the little man he is now compared to last year. He is a lot more interactive socially, has friends (YAY)and has become more independant.

My advice would go and see a health nurse and voice you worries. I would have been totally lost without mine. Its hard to have people judge and make silly comments about your darling's situation unless they have a child with simular features so to speak. They may be thinking they are trying to be supportive but really to a mum in this situation, it can be mindless chatter and do more harm then good. Go with your gutt matie...if you feel like something isnt right, go and get it checked, sooner rather then later. The quicker you can get some help the easier and better it is in the long run./ Yes its hard but when you finally hear - I lov eyou mummy with no prompting (at 5 mind you) it melts your heart. I was told WIlhelm would never be able to tell me that...ha he proved the professionals all wrong.

WIlhelm has been diagnosed with medium to high functioning Autisum...to me he's just my little baby boy.

Hope its helped and remember im only an email away

xxmaz

Maz thank you so much for posting, Wilhelm and Xander seem to share a lot of traits

Sorry Maz didn't get to finish posting.

Xander lately has been doing the ear covering but tend to run in circles??? And he does the movie talk too, wow it's so good to hear toher people talking about it. All this time I haven't said a thing to people as I figured it was just one of his quirky things.

What sort of things have you been doing to help Wilhelm? We have been doing the social stories and mainly focusing on explicitly teaching him things. even though we haven't received the offical diagnoise yet, the more we open up and talk to people about it the more in common Xander has with Aspergers, which is strangly a relief as it gives us something to work with iykwim.

If WIlhelm does things excessively, I put my hand up in the stop sign, then redirect him to giving me a cuddle or asking what something is that is totally out of contents...Wilhelm no longer runs circles (it took 3 months). SOme basic sign language has helped us also like, stop, wait, finished, later and eating.
With the movie talk...it took me ages to think of something and i thought bugger it, im gonna be straight down the point. I just say NO MOVIE TALK now...maybe later. He cracks it and says no mummy, Im not movie talking, but he doesnt do it anymore for hours after it. I do let him have 5 - 10 mins a day just to go on about it and it has helped heaps.
BUT
Any child with these sort of 'special features' (Wilhelms word for himself ;) ) replaces any repetative, compulsive actions with something else. We have moved onto playstation control talk now, press the X button to jump...so I take it outside and we let him give us instructions to jump, run ect...but we dont put the 'press the bla bla button in' I just say JUMP, RUN, SIT. It sounds stupid but its sort of like trying to program a robot...short, simple, clear instructions work for us and after awhile, the 'programming' works.
Horribe to say, I know but it works for us and if it makes Wilhelm happy...its makes us happy.
OUr speach therapist said that the movie talk is WIlhelm's way of trying to start a conversation and not knowing how to do it, goes into his own little world of comfort. At his special needs school, the teacher sugested a 'chat book' which has helped. Its just a little photo albulm were we can slip things into the pockets and he can tell me about them. Wilhelm loves rainbows so I took a pic of him and NIkolaus standing under on a couple of weeks ago and he opens the book and says 'this is my borther nikolaus and me under a rainbow' and we take it from there. it doesnt have to be pics..it can be something small like a leaf or even a flower.
There is a developmental thread in here...I'll find the thread and email you the link...its a great support network matie and even if we chat in there, it might help other people come out and not be so affraid to ask questions...even if it helps just one mum, thats all that matters
x-maz-x

Maz, what do you mean "movie talk"?

wilhelm will sit and say for example
'from the producers of Shrek 1, Shrek 2, Toy Story 1...with the actors Robin williams staring in Jumangi and RV a Warner Brother movie in 2005'
complete and utter cr@p but it means something to him.
he cam tell you which movies caeron diaz, jim carey, robin williams, brittany murphy, eddie murphy are in (jsut to mention a few)
Oh I hate trying to type one handed! have sick little girl on my lap

Wow really! Thats amazing. Isn't it wired how things like that are seen as "problems" when really its amazing that a 5 yr old can remember such detail.
I hope that didn't come out wrong.

They suspected that DH had wrong with him as a child. He was very advanced in areas yet his social ability was really lacking.

I often wonder if Evan has some problems but I think he is just your typical kid with some quirks. He doesn't like loud sounds. Like when they all sing together at preschool he will sit with his hands over his ears & gets quite upset about it all. He will also hide when he is in a unfamilar situation. But over all I think he is ok. So I think the little things are just him.
Its very interesting reading what it is like for you though.

I understand totally where you are coming from, Maz!
Except with Jack it is his Cricket and Football.I'll give you my answers but you have to remember jack is 11 now.
1. Whats your child like with playing pretend?
What is Pretend playing. Jack won't pretend play unless he is playing a Cricket/Football match with himself.
2. Does your child play games like soccer, catch, cricket with you?
If Jack plays any games with you then they have to be by his rules and no variance.
3. Does your child put their new clothes on top of their old ones unless you remind them explicitly to take off the old clothes?
Definately, an example, about an hour ago, my Mum gave Jack a Soccer Outfit. All of a sudden he had to put it on...on top of his clothes.It doesn't matter what he has on, if it is new he has to put it on straight away. As soon as the weather warms up one degree, he hates wearing pants/jeans, he has put shorts on.
4. Does your child like drawing? What do they draw? Can you recognise it? What is their grip like?
What is drawing, I don't know because he has never drawn a picture for me! Writing, he used to write pages and pages of writing for me and it was so repetative it was not funny!
5. Has your child ever said they don't like someone because of what there voice sounds like?
Jack will hold his hands over his ears if noises get too loud. When his brothers and sisters were born, everytime they cried, he said their voices hurt his ears..If anyone raises their voice, then he will hold his hands over his hands and says it hurts.
6. Does your child talk non-stop during the day (and I mena barely pausing to take a breath) What do they talk about? Is it varied or is it mainly just on one subject?
One subject definately, sport! He repeats himself and just keeps talkinguntil you tell him to stop