All This Fear

Hi Everyone,
After 2 years of waiting (not TTC) and nearly 9 months of TTC I finally got my :bfp: on Thursday.
Now I have been SO scared of losing my baby, how can I stop myself from having these negative thoughts?
Because I lost my first child at 28 weeks, I have my first scan next Friday but I cannot wait that long-Im going crazy.
Everytime I go to the toilet Im expecting to see blood.
My stomach has been cramping the last few days and then today it stopped (although I was pretty constipated and this morning I opened my bowels twice-sorry if TMI) and I am VERY hormonal, moods changing, crying at nearly everything so I am assuming that this is a good sign my HCG (theyre the ones yea?) are fairly high and everything should be fine.
But I have been urinating so much since early last week and today I have only gone twice or three times.

I am just so scared, the thought of losing my baby just makes me want to cry. I dont know what to do, I've been drinking so much water and milk and eating so much fruit just trying to make everything better.
I stopped smoking as soon as I got my :bfp: and just wonder if it was enough? Could I have damaged my baby before I found out?

I know you guys arent miracle workers but if someone knows how to put my mind at ease I would greatly appreciate it.
Thank you all so much for reading and sticky vibes for all!

Sweetheart, you don't want to be transmitting all that adrenaline to your little bubba :hug:
Trust yourself, honey! More than that, trust your body's knowledge to grow this baby :) Spend a quiet moment just sitting somewhere comfortable, close your eyes and retreat into yourself. Tell your body that you trust it. Say that out loud if you have to. Send the baby the most loving thoughts of the life you want to give it, images of a beautiful birth and that first breastfeed and give yourself a huge hug!
I think some guided meditations would be most valuable for you right now - quiet your thoughts and concentrate on the good ones :)

it sounds as though you are doing everything right to me.
Congrats on your pregnancy and wishing you a happy and healthy 9 months.
I have never lost a bubs so not sure what you went thru but I am nervous to about this pregnancy. I think we all get a little nervous in the beginning.
I am not sure what I can say to put your mind at ease but just stay positive. I think the positive thoughts are a good start.

Hope your US goes well. It looks as though we will be belly buddies.
Take care XX

well it sounds like you are doing what needs to be done and as for the smoking thing you are way better then me i didnt find out i was pregnant untill i was 13 weeks and smoked like a train the whole time (i did also smoke with my other five only lightly though i know still bad but they were all big healthy bubs and all late ) and having only just found out now im trying to cut down and stop (not having a lot of sucsess though),as my dr said you cant beat yourself up for the things you did before you knew as lots of mums do things befor they know and all is well,the extra strain of what happened last time is what is causing you to stress you have to try to believe that it will be fine this time im sure that is a lot harder then i make it sound but no ones pregnancy comes wit a garentee we all face the same luck of the draw and we just have to hope for the best.

With 4 of my pregnancies I smoked up until I found out I was pregnant and they were all born big and healthy.
You do have to try to think positively. Are you taking pregnancy vitamins?
Really if you are worried you need to talk to your doc about it and stress that you need reassurance. Are they going to moniter you closely this time? Have you had any bloodwork done to measure you HCG levels? If not maybe you should get this done. It might help to put your mind at ease a bit.

GL and loads of sticky vibes to you.

EnglishRose, try to hang on to that exact feeling when you saw the second line come up on the HPT. And that feeling of "We did it! We did it! I'm pregnant!!!!" Stay away from stories of m/c and read the birth announcements instead. Spend some time in Pregnancy After M/C or Loss. You will get so much support and as time passes you will be able to give support to the newbies that come into the thread. I hope to be one of them!

Congratulations on giving up smoking, already you've given your baby and yourself a fantastic headstart. Keep up the fruit, milk and water and make sure you're getting enough folate. You're doing all the right things. Relax! You're doing a great job of growing a baby!

:stickyvibesboy: :stickyvibesgirl:

lol my mum keeps saying the same thing that I gotta start thinking positively, but I guess when your only PG journey has ended in tragedy you dont really know how to let yourself think differently.

I will take all your advice on board, I am trying so hard to be more relaxed and think positively. Yes I am also on Elevit so Im hoping that helps too:)

I just cant help thinking negatively when I feel pain or no symptoms.
Theres no happy medium at the moment lol.

Thanks for all your help:)
Ill TRY and relax

There is no try, only do ;)